Defeating Borderline Personality Disorder - Amanda Wang Goes The Distance

After enduring many years of hardship, you were finally diagnosed properly. Can you talk about how things turned around for you?

Without the proper diagnosis and the proper tools, it is a hard battle to fight. Especially if you don't know what you are fighting.

My treatment now, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is not a cure all. But it teaches you the necessary skills to cope with high emotions, urges of suicide, self-injury as well as the ebb and flow of everyday life. That, along with medication and exercise, has been the foundation of my journey towards recovery.

But I still struggle everyday validating my sense of self worth. I question everything I do, especially my need to exist. But I've come to understand that at times what I feel may not necessarily be what I have to do.

How do you deal with situations that make you feel emotionally vulnerable?

If there is a chaotic environment, a loud room, an argument unfolding, or anything that feels out of control, I become over stimulated.

This used to happen often, where lots of things were going on at once. Something as simple as big family dinners would completely overwhelm me and cause an anxiety attack, wreaking havoc on the rest of the week.

I know now to look out for things like that. I can recognize my triggers now and will remove myself from the environment until I return to my baseline.

Yet you were drawn to boxing, which seems an unlikely choice. How did this happen?

After my diagnosis I wanted to do something empowering and stumbled upon a boxing gym. I was drawn to these people who wanted to push themselves in a different way and were open to learning new things.

For the first 3-5 times that I sparred, I cried and was completely overwhelmed. But then I started to learn the sweet science, practicing shadowboxing, heavy bag, double end, and speed bag - and bringing it into the ring.

Boxing reminds me to show up, do the work and then reap rewards. It teaches me to work through the emotional chaos and, yes, there will be another day. For a person with BPD, it's quite comforting to be reminded of that.

Can you describe what goes on in your head, getting into the ring and being in the middle of a fight?

How much time do you have? Ha! Seriously, preparing on the day of a fight is emotionally draining! But once that bell rings, I leave all my doubts, all my questions, all my anxiety behind and focus on one thing. Winning. The practicality of the issue is that there is no time to think negative thoughts or feel anxiety.

It's one of the things I love about boxing and melds well with my treatment. It forces you to be mindful and in the present moment. Nothing else can bother you or else you'll get hit! And even if you do get hit, you can't dwell on it- or else you'll get hit again. So you learn very quickly to stay in the present moment.

As a fighter, what happens when your opponent is extra provocative, trying to get a rise out of you? Do you ever feel yourself getting out of control?

Fortunately I've had an exceptional experience working with other opponents in the ring.

The ring is perhaps the best place I've found to deal with my emotions. It's almost as if boxing were a conversation - even an argument or a heated debate - but your emotions must be kept focused to the task at hand.

It's kind of like exposure therapy. You may get overwhelmed with a flutter of punches, but you learn how to maneuver around it, using counter aggression with speed, with smarts with angles. All those things you practice- round after round, day after day, become part of your arsenal so you don't have to feel out of control.

That's why showing up for training is so important. Boxing is one of the most difficult sports out there to train for and to perform at; you need all the preparation and skills to get you there. Much like my journey in treatment for BPD.

You've put yourself out there, not only as a boxer, but also lecturing to groups about BPD. What is more taxing emotionally, speaking in front of a crowd or being in the ring?

There is nothing like being in the ring. Sparring gets close, but even that is miles away from the feelings you get when you're in a competition. When I talk in front of a crowd, it's more of a one-way dialogue. A monologue. They're paying attention, nodding heads; there might be some questions and answers.

But in the ring, there's a three -way conversation going on, you, your opponent and your coach. And it's all improvised. When you get really good at fighting competitively, boxing is a lot like jazz. But, right now, I'm still learning the notes, the phrasing, the beats and the rhythm of it all while trying to keep my cool and stay aggressive. It's a fine balancing act.

For others suffering from BPD, who aren't boxers, and are looking for emotional tools and outlets. What do you suggest for them?

There is something that exercise does for the mind/body makeup. I highly recommend some form of physical activity just because it reaps so many benefits.

I found boxing to work because it gave me an outlet for anger and aggression, which I felt I could never display. For others, it's something else. They need to search for tools, projects, work or forms of fitness that will keep them anchored.

I believe that the more you fill your life with things to help build you up, the better you're able to keep the disorder at bay.

Do you have any final words?

We can do great things not only despite mental illness, but also maybe because of it. If it weren't for my diagnosis, my treatment and my desire to feel empowered, I would have never gone down this road with the hopes of boxing in Madison Square Garden.

Now I have something greater to live for and to live and do for others to help them believe in themselves. Somehow it gives my suffering meaning. That is my hope. That is what I believe. That is what I want others to receive from my story.

The empowerment revolution provides tools and inspiration to defy your comfort zone! http://www.theempowermentrevolution.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder - What Treatments Can One Get?

There are three treatments that people suffering from Borderline Personality disorder can get. There are talking treatments, therapeutic communities, and alternatives.

Talking treatments

Given that drugs are also prescribed during psychotherapy or talking therapies. These kinds of talks aim to find the roots of the feelings and behavior of the patient. In this case, the therapist also builds a relationship with the patient. This is seen as an important link to your past and present relationship. Being able to explore on this relationship is a helpful break to the unhealthy patterns of your relationships.

There are also some forms of counseling that are synonymous to psychotherapy, like psychodynamic counseling for example. This type of counseling places great emphasis on childhood experience, which could also be one of the causes of the disorder.

Cognitive behavior therapy on the other hand, is a short term treatment that is more focused on the everyday difficulties, and practicalities.

Therapeutic communities

There are some inpatient communities that specialize in treating personality disorders. In this type of therapeutic community, both staff and residents have share the responsibility of tasks and decisions. Deciding to go into a therapeutic community means being ready to talk to your life about other members of the group. This could be especially hard, specially on the first treatments.

What's good about being part of the community is you become aware of your concerns as well as others feelings towards yours and their actions. You can get a perspective of what its like being on the other person's shoes, and discover what you would like to change about yourself which leads to individual therapy and hopefully, medication.

Alternative therapies

Alternative therapies for borderline personality disorder are new discoveries which have been found to be helpful for alleviating some concerns and symptoms. Some of these therapies are yoga and acupuncture.

Susan Tanners is an enthusiast on the study of Borderline Personality Disorder, and has worked with many experts on BPD treatment. To know more about BPD, visit her site now.

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The Borderline Personality Dance and The Non-Borderlines' Dilemma

The Dance of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be defined as the projective-identification and transference of their identity to the extent that they do not know it on to someone else. What does this mean? It means that when the borderline in your life is sad, or hurt or afraid, rather than feel those feelings, as the non-borderline would, the borderline will turn on you in an effort to have you hold, act out and be the very feelings that they cannot hold, handle or cope with. It is a subconscious way to have mirrored back to self all that one feels but refuses to feel. It is essentially, the borderline trying to put distance between him or herself and his/her own unresolved and abandoned pain.

Little do most borderlines realize, that in effect, what they are really doing when they act out and push people away and erect walls to 'protect' them selves is wall themselves in with their own unaddressed psychological pain. There is no relief from pain to be found in casting it out to those or to the world around you. The walls that a borderline builds will wall that borderline in and threaten to drown him/her in his/her own pain. The non-borderline who does not have any boundaries is at risk of being sealed into that borderline wall of agony with a family member, parent, adult-child, friend, or partner with BPD.

It is through this dance that the borderline often sets him/herself up to continually re-experience what feels familiar. Because most borderlines have a tremendous fear of abandonment. the behavior that they engage in often is the reason why people have to distance and/or disengage or turn away, sooner or later, to maintain their own sanity. Yet when it is reasonable to leave or to take space (for a non-borderline - BPD Loved One) the borderline (usually not taking any personal responsibility) will blame you and will experience your taking space or your leaving as abandonment.

The person with Borderline Personality is in a very painful world of his or her own. Emotionally, it is a psychological world that exists in parallel to the world of the "averagely healthy". Despite usually having an above average intelligence and an often charming initial presentation most borderlines are emotionally vastly different from how they are intellectually. The discrepancy between a borderline's general ability to think and his/her emotional capacity is often an internal schism between self-known and self-unknown that is wider and deeper than the grand canyon. It is world that is run by terror and fear and often by the triggered-dissociations from the past of the person with BPD.

The Dance of the Borderline is experienced by the non-borderline when all of sudden, yet again, they have become the focus of the borderline's pain, rage, anger, unmet needs, wants, demands, helplessness and so on. Questions I've been asked a lot of late in email and by clients include, "How do I not go there?" "How can I set a boundary?" "What do I do when he/she starts it all over again?" "Why is this happening?"

So there is the borderline prone to repeatedly engaging in a deceptive dance of demanding devastation and the non-borderline who cannot get into the head (understand the motivation) of the borderline. Herein lies the central dilemma of the non-borderline (BPD Loved One).

The Non-Borderline's Dilemma is realized when he/she comes to the inevitable conclusion that he/she has to effect some change for themselves. There comes the realization that a choice has to be made. The choice is one that most often feels like, and is, a choice between equally unfavorable and disagreeable alternatives. This is the projected out predicament in which the borderline (to a degree) has lived within all of his/her life without knowing if fully. It is this similar dilemma/dynamic or predicament that is the fuel of the borderline dance in the first place. So, you see the borderline and the non-borderline, in some ways, are not so far apart. The experience of each is very painful - often riddled with conflicting emotions. The experience of each is real. The experience of each has its roots in BPD (for the borderline) and the effects of BPD for the Loved One. And yet each lives on a different side of understanding - sharing something in common - yet not connecting with each other as to what each experiences. What each non-borderline must realize within this dilemma however, is that they have the tools necessary to take care of themselves. And that it is up to each and every person with BPD to get help, therapy and/or coaching to learn the skills and tools to help them cope and get on the path to recovery. A BPD Loved One cannot rescue someone with BPD no matter how much one cares. It just isn't possible.

So, you are in a relationship with a borderline and you have reached this stage of dilemma. You want the relationship to survive. You have all sorts of mixed feelings toward this borderline in your life, what are you to do? The first thing you must do is decide what it is that you cannot live with anymore. Once you've identified that, you will then have the rather difficult task of communicating that to the borderline in your life. Before you communicate what your limits and boundaries are make sure that you are prepared to back them up. If you are not, or you do not you will experience the dance times one hundred and the borderline in your life will generate more chaos than before.

You will need to identify the core problem, decide what your limits and boundaries are, you need to develop a plan of action and be ready to implement and consistently stick to it. At this point it's time to talk to the borderline in your life. As you do this -- remember, you must speak only to your experience and not to his/her behavior. This will be the beginning of a difficult and painful process whether things work out or not. As with any dilemma know that your pain is real and that pain is a natural part of change. Your pain does not have to cause you to doubt that you are doing what you need to do for yourself.

The non-borderline must communicate honestly, fairly, and consistently with the borderline knowing full well that you cannot have any control, effect, or say over how the borderline in your life will choose to react or behave, or even punish because when setting your boundaries the person with BPD may well feel abandoned. It is important to not enable or rescue the person with BPD even though their emotions are often so intense. Intensely angry and distancing or intensely painful which can pull on your heart-strings. People with BPD need to learn that they cannot re-play their past abandonment trauma or their present abandonment fear out on you. You will benefit from being neutral in the face of these alternating and intense emotions from a person with BPD in your life.

The only way to not be engaged in the dance of the borderline is to identify, clearly and consistently communicate, and follow through with your boundaries. Pick a quiet time when there is no high intense emotion or conflict, a time when you can talk, calmly to your BPD Loved One.

Your message in words and in action must be clear and consistent. If for example, the borderline in your life is demanding something from you that you cannot give, it is reasonable that you answer the demand calmly with a statement about how you feel and why you cannot do what you are being asked or manipulated to do. Then make a clear statement that you are not going to continue to engage in the conflict or issue. If the borderline continues to press or escalates his/her behavior then you have to disengage in whatever way you have set out as the way that you will do this. For example, if you made it clear you will leave the house for an hour or that you will take a half hour alone somewhere in the house then you must do this.

If you are finding that you have set boundaries and limits and that you have communicated them and acted upon them only to meet with more and more conflict, abuse, punishment (silent treatment) and/or hostility then it is time to consider space. In order for you to take care of yourself and have your needs met, your boundaries and limits need to be respected. This is often next to impossible for many borderlines (not yet in therapy or refusing to get help). If the borderline in your life is not getting help, won't go get help, is in total denial, and will not respect your personhood then the choice you have to make in order to maintain your own sanity is one of space and distance, for a time, or altogether.

As someone who has gone through this from the side of having borderline personality disorder, before I recovered in 1995, I can honestly say that it took my losing people from my life before I could incorporate certain changes. I had to want to make those changes. I had to want to go to therapy. I had to want the help. No one could rescue me - though many people had tried. If you are staying in a relationship or continually caving or surrendering to "have peace" only to find that is not "right", or "good enough" for the borderline in your life either - you are doing no one a favour by staying in that situation. You have to decide whether you are willing to remain a hostage anymore or not. Do you want your freedom enough? What will this freedom that you seek from pain and emotional turmoil mean? Does it mean you can stay?

Does it mean you have to go? Yes, in the pursuit of your disengaging the dance and your attaining your emotional freedom you will hurt. The borderline will hurt. If life and recovery have taught me anything it's that you cannot grow and change without feeling and working through pain. Let your pain motivate you to learn the lessons, whether you are a borderline or a non-borderline. Sometimes we cannot learn those lessons without experiencing loss. Sometimes the only way is to let go.

Often we, borderline or non-borderline, have to lose in order to gain. We have to grieve in order to grow. We have to say good-bye in order to say hello to ourselves and to subsequent others in our lives. No one of us can change for another. No one of us can control another. Relationships are complicated and hard enough. For the borderline they are not truly possible until the borderline finds his or her lost self and then connects to that self and learns to relate to that self.

Until the borderline learns to relate to "self" he/she will always be relating over and over again to "self" through "other". This reality pushes the "other" away. It also is why the borderline tries to take hostages. If the borderline (in throes of BPD) only knows "self" through "other" and "other" goes away the experience is one as real and painful as "death of self" -- annihilation. The end of a relationship to a borderline can be like a death of "self" as was known in "other". The end of a relationship for a non-borderline or averagely "healthy" person is a very

sad, painful loss, but, it is not the loss of self. In fact, when a non-borderline leaves a borderline they often experience a very healthy and welcoming "re-birth" of "self" - a coming home to a self that to one degree or other there was some separation from.

If you have BPD it is up to you to take responsibility for yourself and to learn to respect the limits and boundaries of others. If you are borderline you need to find yourself and to live through that "self" and not project that lost "self" onto others. If you are a non-borderline you need to be realistic with yourself and not accept anything less than basic human courtesy and respect. Where courtesy, respect, and mutuality - healthy give and take - are absent so too is healthy love. What you end up with is a toxic-love dynamic.

The Dance of the Borderline, the tune of which can only be heard by a borderline is music that a non-borderline cannot truly hear or appreciate. You live in one world, separated from itself, worlds over-lapping, yet not touching, worlds in parallel. Borderlines need to stop the dance and the non-borderlines need to end their dilemmas. Whether this can be done in tandem or whether you have to let go and do it alone, only each one of you can decide. Each one of us in this world has a responsibility to ourselves. We cannot extend any real love to another until we learn to love "self", borderline or not.

A.J. Mahari is a Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self-Improvement Coach and is the author of 20+ Ebooks and Author/Narrator of 35+ Audio Programs - The Dilemma on the Other Side of BPD Ebook - Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love? and An Audio Program, "Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love" for BPD Loved Ones might be quite helpful for you and they can be fount at http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca and also has over 10 websites online on a wide variety of topics with many blogs, podcasts, and videos available free that you can find linked at http://ajmahari.com

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Online Therapy for Depression, Relationships Problems, Social Phobia, or Personality Disorders

When you submit your dreams for a professional dream translation you receive free psychotherapy after the instant translation of their meaning. You are charged only a small fee for the professional translation of the dream images depending on your dreams' word count. In addition, your entire biography is analyzed without any charge, and you have the opportunity to ask as many questions are you need for further clarification. You always receive very clear guidance.

Many depressed or insecure people are finding solutions to their problems when they understand the unconscious guidance, contained in the dream images. Yesterday, for example, a woman found support after sending me only 4 short dreams. She doesn't need to send me more dreams for translation; her entire problem was comprehensively analyzed, and she found all the solutions she needs. Of course, the more dreams we translate, the more we learn. However, as little as four short dreams was sufficient for a full psychotherapy.

This woman is very excited about discovering how much we can learn through dream analysis. Now she is studying dream interpretation according to the scientific method in order to translate her own dreams without having to rely on the help of a professional dream translator. This is another service I provide. Many other translators will not reveal their method for fear of losing return business. I teach you everything I know; you can easily become a professional dream translator like me.

Other people send me many dreams for translation without ever thinking about studying the dream language. They are not paying for an online treatment, in fact, they are only paying a small fee for a profession translation from one language to another. They feel very comfortable proceeding this way.

I understand this position, even though I believe that everyone should learn the dream language. There are people who have grave problems and do not have the concentration needed to devote to professional lessons. Other people have no facility with languages, or they don't like studying. Not everyone in this world has the same talents.

Therefore, I will tell you directly everything that I see reflected in the dream images. This means that you may discover for example, that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you. However, the unconscious mind will help you find your real soul mate, and have a perfect love relationship with the right person.

Or, I may tell you that you are immature, and you must evolve. All your mistakes are reflected in the dream messages so that you may stop making them, and learn how to be wise. Only after seeing what is bad, negative, and wrong, will you understand what is good, positive and true.

If you are depressed, if you have relationship problems, if you suffer from social phobia, or if you have a borderline personality, the unconscious guidance will be a true salvation for you. You'll be always enlightened and relieved.

The unconscious mind helps you discover the roots of your psychological problems. It will show you how to eliminate what is bad. It gives you objective information about the person you love. It will show you things that you would never learn otherwise. The unconscious mind has a divine origin and can see everything.

You'll have dreams predicting future problems in many occasions, so that you may correct your mistakes, and this way avoid what would be very unpleasant for you. This advantage will be immensely helpful each time you have to make important decisions in life.

The vision you'll have thanks to dream translation will always give you self-confidence and safety. All your fears will be completely eliminated, and your intelligence will increase.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.
Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com

Click Here to download a Free Sample of the eBook Dream Interpretation as a Science (86 pages!).

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Are You Living a Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder?

The fear of abandonment is one of the biggest and most common issues a Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) sufferer has to deal with constantly.

Even in mild borderline patients this abandonment fear is a common thing.

Some sufferers may feel overwhelmed and discouraged by this unrelenting sensation of fear which can make one feel like he or she lives in a hellhole where nobody gives their attention and understanding. This is the reason why most of the borderline sufferers engage in impulsive and self-harming behaviors to, on the one hand make them feel something, and on the other hand to try to get others' attention and support.

These are common issues in borderline patients and there are many people who have to face them all around the world despite the appearance of rarity of this disorder.

Specific environmental factors were found to be responsible for the occurrence of borderline personality, which consists of abuses (sexual, physical, or emotional), neglect, coldness, lack of communication and empathy, emotional blackmail, especially from parents but also from peers and friends in one's childhood or adolescence. This fear of abandonment can be triggered by these negative parental attitudes, sometimes doubled by fear of punishment, neglect, or the fear of intentional wrongdoing from others directed to him or her.

Quite often borderline people have dependent attitudes and behaviors toward others, but this fear of abandonment can sometimes lead one to do certain things which will repel the family members or friends at the smallest interpretation of their desertion.

There is a higher vulnerability in women to develop borderline personality most likely as a consequence of their more sensitive nature, and also as a result of their fragile physic which is easier to be exploited by abusive parents or peers.

Also a mild inability to modulate emotions and behaviors can be found, which leads to fast mood shifts and impulsive behavior.

The good news is that there are new scientific discoveries and new therapies which can help BPD sufferers to gain back their happiness and balance. These therapies are efficient if the patient is dedicated and perseverant in applying the knowledge and strategies in his or her every day life to get over borderline personality and the fear of abandonment. These changes are possible and your gain in personal satisfaction will be tremendous and your family members and your friends will seek your company more often as well.

Borderline Personality abandonment fear can be treated successfully thanks to new efficient psychological intervention protocols. Educating yourself about these psychotherapies is the first step toward your total recovery.

And the most important think I can leave you with is that BPD can be treated.

By the way, do you want to find out more about Borderline Personality Disorder, like symptoms, causes, prevalence, associated disorders, treatment options, as well as tips and techniques you can use immediately?

If so, download my free ebook "Surviving The Hellhole - Borderline Personality Disorder Facts and Treatment Options": TheBorderlineTreatment.com.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Solved

Bipolar Disorder Triggers - 5 Things You Need to Avoid to Help Keep Your Moods Stable

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition that is characterized by alternating bouts of mania and depression. People who have bipolar disorders often experience a cyclic change in their energy levels and feelings; ranging from sudden bursts of liveliness and happiness to unprovoked episodes of weakness and sadness. In extreme cases, bipolar disorders manifest psychotic symptoms of delusion and hallucination. This will later on lead to progressive deterioration of the conscious psyche and end up with a person's derailment from reality. Nevertheless, bipolar disorder is a controllable condition. Further aggravation of the mental state may be avoided given the proper precautions

1.) Cut down on caffeine intake. Caffeine is a stimulant. Without proper regulation, it will tip off the balance in your mood and physical processes. It will make it difficult for you to sleep at night, and consequently make you more emotionally and mentally labile. Chocolate, chocolate byproducts, coffee, tea, sodas, colas, and energy drinks all contain caffeine. There are some pastries too that have high levels of caffeine in them. Try to minimize your consumption of these fares.

2.) Keep healthy and well-balanced interpersonal relationships. Nothing can stimulate this mood disorder better than a fiery argument. Suicidal ideations often come about after heated discussions and disappointing experiences. So make sure to keep things light between your friends, family and loved ones. Don't be too serious about things; otherwise, you'll loose touch on how to handle failure. Look out for yourself more. If you think the people you're with are no good for your health, then might as well stay away. Be with those who understand your condition and are able to accept your varying temperament.

3.) Stay calm. If you easily get frustrated over trivial things, then you will more likely experience a greater number of mood shifts per day than if you're not. So my advice is to stay calm and collected. If troubles come your way, pause for a moment and breath. Don't react right away. Give your mind time to think things over. The mood instability caused by bipolar disorder may prompt you to hurt people when you are irritated or angry. So you must endeavor to stay composed all of the time. The last thing you want is a lawsuit on your hands. It might be difficult at first. But if you make a habit to delay negative reaction, then you will get to control your mood swings.

4.) Be prepared for surprises. There are several environmental factors that can trigger bipolar disorders. Time, weather, people, places, insects; I mean, the list goes on and on. And these are things you cannot control. So learn to accept whatever comes your way and be prepared for the world's surprises. Like when you are on the road and traveling, don't be bothered if your car breaks down, or if there are no restrooms on the way. Mentally and emotionally condition yourself before you embark on potentially stressful situations and you'll feel more relieved and relaxed knowing that it's all out of your control, and all you can do about it is adapt.

5.) This last guideline is applicable for friends and relatives of people with bipolar disorder. Don't get caught in a bad conversation. When in a depressive episode, people afflicted with bipolar disorder will consistently argue that they are misunderstood, or that their life has no purpose, or that the world is unfair, so on and so forth. As someone who is concerned, all you can do as of the moment is to hear out their complaints. Listening is the most therapeutic way to go about the conversation. Do not argue, for your sake and for your loved one's sake. Now, if you think that it is leading to a bad place, then directly talk to the person about his or her condition and explain how it is making him or her feel that way. Stop trying to achieve normalcy. With bipolar disorder, you have to handle a person extra specially and extra carefully.

I suggest that you visit Borderline Personality Disorder Solved for more information about handling the situation.

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Bipolar Epidemiology - Case Results of the Relationship Between Bipolar and Borderline Personality

In the year of 2006, a bipolar study was released in the July issue of the popular magazine called "The American Journal of Psychiatry" that covered the relationship between borderline personality and bipolar disorder. The bipolar epidemiology established the fact that these two conditions typically do not coincide with one another.

There were one hundred ninety six individuals involved in the study that had borderline personality. Out of these people, there were only thirty seven that actually had both bipolar disorder and borderline personality. All in all, it was established that up to 20% of all borderline personalities do develop bipolar, but this is a low percentage overall.

What is Borderline Personality?

Individuals that have borderline personality disorder suffer from a severe type of mental illness. The sufferer of this condition often exhibits behaviors and moods that are considered to be unstable. It has been established that at least two percent of all adults suffer from this condition. It is diagnosed more among women than it is in men. Patients that suffer from this condition are believed to suffer from irregularities as far as their emotions are concerned.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

This condition is often referred to as an illness called "manic-depression". Individuals that suffer from this condition do experience shifts in their moods. The energy level of the person may be extremely enhanced or decreased. When exhibiting symptoms, a person will experience either a manic episode or a depressive episode. The manic episode will consist of symptoms such as happiness, excitement or inflated self-esteem.

Individuals that experience depressive episodes will experience depression, low self-esteem, and may possibly even consider suicide as a solution. While these two conditions are similar to one another, the bipolar epidemiology has concluded that these two conditions regularly exist independent of one another.

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About the Author: Anne Ahira is an established entrepreneur and successful coach in her country of Indonesia. Her success story has been published in many nationwide publications in Indonesia.

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Borderline Personality Disorder - Things You Need To Know!

What are the symptoms of BPD?

Individuals with BPD have several of the following symptoms:

marked mood swings with periods of intense depression, irritability, and/or anxiety lasting a few hours to a few days;

inappropriate, intense, or uncontrolled anger;

impulsiveness in spending, sex, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving, or binge eating;

recurring suicidal threats or self-injurious behavior;

unstable, intense personal relationships with extreme, black and white views of people and experiences, sometimes alternating between "all good" idealization and "all bad" devaluation;

marked, persistent uncertainty about self-image, long term goals, friendships, and values;

chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness; and

frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined.

What causes BPD?

The causes of BPD are unclear, although psychological and biological factors may be involved. Originally thought to "border on" schizophrenia, BPD also appears to be related to serious depressive illness. In some cases, neurological disorders play a role. Biological problems may cause mood instability and lack of impulse control, which in turn may contribute to troubled relationships. Difficulties in psychological development during childhood, perhaps associated with neglect, abuse, or inconsistent parenting, may create identity and personality problems. More research is needed to clarify the psychological and/or biological factors causing BPD. The field is also actively looking at genetic vulnerabilities.

How is BPD treated?

A combination of psychotherapy and medication appears to provide the best results for treatment of BPD. Medications can be useful in reducing anxiety, depression, and disruptive impulses. Relief of such symptoms may help the individual deal with harmful patterns of thinking and interacting that disrupt daily activities.

Long-term outpatient psychotherapy and group therapy (if the individual is carefully matched to the group) can be helpful. Short-term hospitalization may be necessary during times of extreme stress, impulsive behavior, or substance abuse. More structured cognitive interventions like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are now widely used.

Can other disorders co-occur with BPD?

Yes. Determining whether other psychiatric disorders may be involved is critical. BPD may be accompanied by serious depressive illness (including bipolar disorder), eating disorders, and alcohol or drug abuse. About 50 percent of people with BPD experience episodes of serious depression. At these times, the "usual" depression becomes more intense and steady, and sleep and appetite disturbances may occur or worsen. These symptoms, and the other disorders mentioned above, may require specific treatment. A neurological evaluation may be necessary for some individuals.

What medications are prescribed for BPD?

Antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and the new atypical antipsychotics are common for BPD. Decisions about medication use should be made cooperatively between the individual and the therapist or psychiatrist. Issues to be considered include the person's willingness to take the medication as prescribed, and the possible benefits, risks, and side effects of the medication, particularly the risk of overdose.

With Much Love,

Arthur Buchanan

President/CEO

Out of Darkness & Into the Light

43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012

Huron Ohio, 44839

567-219-0994 (cell)

http://www.out-of-darkness.com

They are calling Arthur Buchanan's methods of recovering from mental illness REVOLUTIONARY! (MEDICAL COLLEGE OF MICHIGAN) 'Arthur Buchanan has given us a revolutionary blue print for recovery in these uncertain times, when Mental Illness at a all time high in the United States of America, yet if you follow this young mans methods, we assure you of positive results and I QUOTE 'If these methods are followed precisely, their is no way you can't see positive results with whatever illness you have' -Dr. Herbert Palos Detroit, Michigan

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Borderline Treatment - Can I Get Help?

Think the world is all black or white? Good or Bad? Having relationship issues because of your fear of abandonment? You may have BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. You may even need Borderline Treatment!

Don't PANIC!

You'll be delighted to know that real help for BPD is readily available online. There are many great content sites and other self-help forums as well as e-books, articles and published guides for quick & permanent help.

Many people have an unfounded fear of Borderline Treatment or?BPD Treatment, and the reasons I believe stem from many, many years of no information and/or bad information.

Let's set the record straight right now. YOU CAN BE HELPED! Not only by trained psychologists, and medications but by the many, many online sites devoted to BPD. These range from information and diagnosis to reviews, sales and forums for getting the immediate and genuine kind of help you need right now.

My wife has had this since a child and always thought she was either crazy or going to be really soon. Her parents, like most who foster this problem in their children, were busy professionals who didn't want her in their way, treated her abusively and often unloaded her on relatives so they could get away on weekend trips and other social commitments. She began to develop separation anxiety and a host of other fears about herself and the world at large.

This disorder, though mild by clinical standards,?had affected both of us and our marriage in tremendous ways. I could never predict when her bragging on me would turn to?hating everything about me! I'd see her think that others hated her or loved her and bounce between the two like a yo-yo. If she separated from friends or loved ones for more than a day or so, she'd feel so disconnected that she'd nearly have to start the relationship over from scratch to assure herself that they were genuine friends and not enemies.

We discovered through marriage counseling about BPD. We've been blessed in our borderline treatment sessions by our counselor who understands this condition and has led us to many fine self-help?books and other?tools for defusing and lessening the severity of this disorder.

We still have our occasional struggles, but the duration and intensity of the conflicts have lessened a lot and now we'll even laugh about our behaviors from time to time! Talk about progress!

I never thought it could happen: tranquility, peace of mind, companionship and tenderness. These were aspects of life that would elude my marriage forever. But treatment of borderline people has come out of the closet and is currently a highly effective and lasting method that needn't cost a fortune in endless clinical sessions. We're here to guide and direct your knowledge of the resources available so you can make an informed and timely decision of the best solution for you.

I'm a spouse of a BPD that has had symptoms ranging from moderate to mild for the 20 odd years we've been married. Odd is a good word for our early marriage but we've together worked through the toughest parts of self-rehab and now can even laugh at ourselves! I'll be sharing our methods and resources on the blog listed here:

[http://www.eborderlinetreatment.com]

[http://www.eborderlinetreatment.com/borderline-treatment/if-you-need-borderline-treatment-dont-panic]

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Information About Bipolar 1 Disorder - Bipolar Type 1 Disorder

Bipolar 1 Disorder, conjointly referred to as manic depression, may be a mental illness caused via a variety of things together with neurological, biological, emotional, and environmental factors. Bipolar 1 Disorder is sometimes characterized as mood cycling from manic, or extra happy, moods to glum, or extra sad, moods.

Several people aren't aware that in the last few years doctors have begun diagnosing bipolar disorder as two totally different types, primarily based on how the moods cycle within the patient. Bipolar 1 Disorder, also referred to as raging bipolar disorder, is diagnosed when the patient has at least one manic experience lasting a minimum of a single week or possibly even longer. Bipolar disorder type two, conjointly known as rapid cycling bipolar disorder, is diagnosed while the patient has at least one manic episode and one depressive event inside four days to one week.

Hypomania is a severe type of mania that typically occurs in Bipolar 1 disorder patients. This situation happens because the patient is sort of constantly up; the normal state for the patient is one of mania. Thus, disposition cycling in this disorder sort one patients often involves mania combined with the disposition change. Mania combined with mania creates hypomania. Hypomania additionally will be among psychotic symptoms like the patient turning into delusional or having hallucinations. This can be a very simplistic manner to explain how hypomania & assorted episodes happen.

Mixed episodes also typically occur with Bipolar 1. A mixed episode is difficult to elucidate to the final. It consists of being both happy and sad, up and down, all at the identical time. Generally, this translates into the patient being terribly depressed emotionally, however displaying symptoms of obsession like inability to concentrate & lack of sleep.

Intermediate personality disorder is essentially not quite as universal and not quite as renowned as bipolar. Borderline personality disorder accounts for simply roughly twenty percent of hospitalizations for mental illness each year, despite the fact that bipolar merely accounts for all but fifty percent of hospitalizations. Intermediate personality disorder is as a rule widespread in young teens, whereas bipolar is equally regular in both men as well as women, and every age groups. Borderline personality disorder and bipolar patients equally experience mood swings which may perhaps necessitate intense outbursts, depression, or nervousness. On the other hand, even as bipolar patients classically phase through these moods all the way through a stage of weeks or even months, borderline personality disorder patients might suffer bursts of these moods which can last only one or two hours or a day.

Bipolar 1 Disorder is the most widespread sort of bipolar disorder, & the foremost treatable. Because this disorder sometimes manifests itself in the shape of long manic periods with presumably one or two short depressive periods each year, treatment choices are abundant and more simple. In view of the fact that mania requires one sort of medicine and depression requires another sort of medication, the flexibility to treat solely mania makes finding effective medications a lot more simpler task. Mood stabilizers are also quite effectual with Bipolar 1, while not the employment of mania or depression medications.

The symptoms that the Bipolar 1 patient experiences can include the type of mania medicine used to manage the extreme moods. In situations of gentle however continual mania, lithium is the prescription of choice. But, in cases in which mixed mania or hypomania are constantly there, a stronger prescription or anti-psychotic, like Depakote, is usually prescribed. Symptoms of depression with bipolar II disorder include decreased energy, unexplained weight changes, feelings of despair, increased irritability, & out of control crying. Symptoms of hypomania include sleeplessness, racing thoughts, distraction, excess energy, and rash judgements.

Bipolar 1 disorder is additionally the likeliest candidate for treatment through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy also known as (CBT). This is as a result of the patient is generally usually during a state that permits them to easily focus their mind on rationalizing situations, recognizing triggers, and suppressing grave episodes. But, whilst the patient exhibits symptoms of hypomania, as a few Bipolar 1 disorder patients usually do, cognitive behavioral therapy isn't as helpful during these episodes.

Overall, Bipolar 1 disorder is definitely controlled through acceptable treatment & medications. If you live through several symptoms of Bipolar 1 disorder you must make contact with your medical doctor to form measures for diagnostic testing and to talk about psychoanalysis options. In the end, the patient is held responsible for their own sickness, & thus, their own therapy.

Please forward this article to a friend in need. Are you, or is someone you love struggling with a mental illness? Search our extensive database of information for resources that can help you find some answers to your bipolar disorder questions or other mental health related conditions. This article was prepared by Steve E. Crowley. This article may be redistributed but the resource box must remain unchanged.

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Widespread Features of Personality Disorders

Mindsets is more a good art form than a science. There is absolutely no "Theory of Everything" that one can derive all mental wellbeing phenomena and generate falsifiable predictions. Even now, as far since personality disorders come to mind, it is straightforward to discern common features. Most personality disorders share a group of symptoms (as reported by the patient) as well as signs (as observed with the mental health practitioner or healthcare provider).

Patients experiencing personality disorders have these things in common:

They are persistent, relentless, determined, and insistent (except those experiencing the Schizoid or maybe the Avoidant Character Disorders).

They feel permitted to - plus vociferously demand -- preferential treatment and privileged use of resources and people. They often complain with regards to multiple symptoms. They get interested in "power plays" using authority figures (for instance physicians, therapists, nurses, social workers, employers, and bureaucrats) and also rarely obey guidance or observe regulations of conduct and also procedure.

They hold themselves being superior to some others or, at the least, unique. A good number of personality disorders contain an inflated self-perception along with grandiosity. Such subjects are generally incapable of empathy (the flexibility to appreciate in addition to respect the needs and wishes of people). In therapy or hospital treatment, they alienate the physician or therapist by treating the girl as inferior in order to them.

Patients along with personality disorders tend to be self-centered, self-preoccupied, duplicated, and, thus, boring.

Subjects with qualities disorders seek for you to manipulate and use others. They trust use of and have your diminished capacity to be able to love or intimately share because they can't trust or adore themselves. They tend to be socially maladaptive along with emotionally unstable.

Use of knows whether personality disorders is the tragic outcomes associated with nature or the actual sad follow-up to some lack of nurture from the patient's environment.

Generally speaking, though, most personality disorders start in childhood and early adolescence since mere problems throughout personal development. Exacerbated by repeated misuse and rejection, that they then become full-fledged dysfunctions. Persona disorders are stiff and enduring patterns of traits, thoughts, and cognitions. Put simply, they rarely "evolve" and therefore are stable and all-pervasive, certainly not episodic. By 'all-pervasive", I am talking about to say them to affect every area within the patient's life: their career, his sociable relationships, his sociable functioning.

Personality disorders cause unhappiness and so are usually comorbid by using mood and panic disorders. Most persons are ego-dystonic (with the exception of narcissists and psychopaths). They dislike as well as resent who they are, how they behave, and the pernicious as well as destructive effects they need on their best and dearest. However, personality disorders are immune system writ large. Hence, few patients by using personality disorders are generally truly self-aware or effective at life transforming introspective insights.

Patients with individuality disorder typically put up with a host associated with other psychiatric issues (example: depressive ailments, or obsessions-compulsions). They're worn-out by the need to reign into their self-destructive and self-defeating urges.

Patients with qualities disorders have alloplastic safeguarding and an outer locus of control. In other words and phrases: rather than accept responsibility with the consequences of their own actions, they often blame other folks or the outside world for misfortune, failures, in addition to circumstances. Consequently, they will fall prey that will paranoid persecutory delusions as well as anxieties. When burdened, they try that will preempt (real or imaginary) provocations by changing the rules in the game, introducing different variables, or by trying to manipulate their environment to comply with their needs. These people regard everyone and also everything as mere instruments of satisfaction.

Patients with Cluster B personality problems (Narcissistic, Antisocial, Borderline, and Histrionic) are mostly ego-syntonic, even though they are confronted with formidable personality and behavioral deficits, mental deficiencies and lability, and overwhelmingly wasted lives and squandered potentials. Such patients tend not to, on the completely, find their character traits or conduct objectionable, unacceptable, unpleasant, or alien for their selves.

There is an apparent distinction between sufferers with personality-disorders in addition to patients with psychoses (schizophrenia-paranoia and stuff like that). As in opposition to the latter, the first kind have no hallucinations, delusions or maybe thought disorders. Along at the extreme, subjects who have problems with the Borderline Persona Disorder experience short psychotic "microepisodes", mainly during treatment. Patients with personality disorders can also be fully oriented, using clear senses (sensorium), good memory along with a satisfactory general deposit of knowledge.

Uncover everything about Personality Disorders & borderline personality disorder symptoms.

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How Personality Disorders Drive Family Court Litigation

I was first exposed to the concept of personality disorders in 1980 when I was in training as a therapist at the San Diego Child Guidance Clinic at Childrens' Hospital. The DSM-III had just come out and Axis II of the five diagnostic categories required the therapist to diagnose the presence or absence of a personality disorder. (The current DSM-IV uses the same approach.) I quickly learned (often the hard way) that the presenting problems on Axis I (e.g. depression, substance abuse) were simply replaced by new ones, if an underlying personality disorder was not addressed in therapy.

Now that I have completed several years as a family law attorney, I have frequently witnessed the same underlying issues in hotly contested family court litigation -- yet these remain undiagnosed and, therefore, misunderstood. As those with personality disorders generally view relationships from a rigid and adversarial perspective, it is inevitable that a large number end up in the adversarial process of court. Since more flexible and cost-conscious people nowadays are resolving their divorces in mediation, attorney-assisted negotiation, or just by themselves, those cases remaining in litigation may be increasingly driven by personality disorders.

The Nature of a Personality Disorder

Someone with a personality disorder is usually a person experiencing chronic inner distress (for example fear of abandonment), which causes self-sabotaging behavior (such as seeking others who fear abandonment), which causes significant problems (such as rage at any perceived hint of abandonment) -- in their work lives and/or their personal lives. They may function quite well in one setting, but experience chaos and repeated problems in others. They look no different from anyone else, and often present as very attractive and intelligent people. However, it is usually after you spend some time together -- or observe them in a crisis -- that the underlying distress reaches the surface.

As interpersonal distress, fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for control are predominant symptoms of personality disorders, they place a tremendous burden on a marriage. Therefore, intense conflicts will eventually arise in their marriages and the divorce process will also be a very conflictual process. In contrast to people who are simply distressed from going through a divorce (over 80% are recovering significantly after 2 years), people with personality disorders grew up very distressed. It is the long duration of their dysfunction (since adolescence or early adulthood) which meets the criteria of a personality disorder.

Usually they developed their personality style as a way of coping with childhood abuse, neglect or abandonment, an emotionally lacking household, or simply their biological predisposition. While this personality style may have been an effective adaptation in their "family of origin," in adulthood it is counter-productive. The person remains stuck repeating a narrow range of interpersonal behaviors to attempt to avoid this distress.

A personality disorder does not usually go away except in a corrective on-going relationship -- such as several years in a counseling relationship. Until then, the person may constantly seek a corrective experience through a series of unsatisfying relationships, through their children, or through the court process. In a sense, untreated personality disorders don't fade away -- they just change venue.

Personality Disorders Appearing in Family Court

Probably the most prevalent personality disorder in family court is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- more commonly seen in women. BPD may be characterized by wide mood swings, intense anger even at benign events, idealization (such as of their spouse -- or attorney) followed by devaluation (such as of their spouse -- or attorney).

Also common is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) -- more often seen in men. There is a great preoccupation with the self to the exclusion of others. This may be the vulnerable type, which can appear similar to BPD, causing distorted perceptions of victimization followed by intense anger (such as in domestic violence or murder, for example the San Diego case of Betty Broderick). Or this can be the invulnerable type, who is detached, believes he is very superior and feels automatically entitled to special treatment.

Histrionic Personality Disorder also appears in family court, and may have similarities to BPD but with less anger and more chaos. Antisocial Personality Disorder includes an extreme disregard for the rules of society and very little empathy. (A large part of the prison population may have Anti-social Personality Disorder.)

Dependent Personality Disorder is common, but usually is preoccupied with helplessness and passivity, and is rarely the aggressor in court -- but often marries a more aggressive spouse, sometimes with a personality disorder.

Cognitive Distortions and False Statement

Because of their history of distress, those with personality disorders perceive the world as a much more threatening place than most people do. Therefore, their perceptions of other people's behavior is often distorted -- and in some cases delusional. Their world view is generally adversarial, so they often see all people as either allies or enemies in it. Their thinking is often dominated by cognitive distortions, such as: all-or-nothing thinking, emotional reasoning, personalization of benign events, minimization of the positive and maximization of the negative. They may form very inaccurate beliefs about the other person, but cling rigidly to those beliefs when they are challenged -- because being challenged is usually perceived as a threat.

People with personality disorders also appear more likely to make false statements. Because of the thought process of a personality disorder, the person experiences interpersonal rejection or confrontation much more deeply than most people. Therefore the person has great difficulty healing and may remain stuck in the denial stage, the depression stage, or the anger stage of grief -- avoiding acceptance by trying to change or control the other person.

Lying may be justified in their eyes -- possibly to bring a reconciliation. (This can be quite convoluted, like the former wife who alleged child sexual abuse so that her ex-husband's new wife would divorce him and he would return to her -- or so she seemed to believe.) Or lying may be justified as a punishment in their eyes. Just as we have seen that an angry spouse may kill the other spouse, it is not surprising that many angry spouses lie under oath. There is rarely any consequence for this, as family court judges often believe the truth cannot be known -- or that both are lying.

Projection

Just as an active alcoholic or addict blames others for their substance abuse, those with personality disorders are often preoccupied with other people's behavior while avoiding any examination of their own behavior. Just as a movie projector throws a large image on a screen from a hidden booth, those with personality disorders project their internal conflicts onto their daily interactions -- usually without knowing it. All the world is a stage -- including court.

It is not uncommon in family court declarations for one with a personality disorder to claim the other party has characteristics which are really their own ("he's manipulative and falsely charming" or "she's hiding information and delaying the process"), and do not fit the other party. Spousal abusers claim the other is being abusive. Liars claim the other is lying. (One man who knew he was diagnosed with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder claimed his wife also had an NPD simply because she liked to shop.)

How Family Court Fits Personality Disorders

Family Court is perfectly suited to the fantasies of someone with a personality disorder: There is an all-powerful person (the judge) who will punish or control the other spouse. The focus of the court process is perceived as fixing blame -- and many with personality disorders are experts at blame. There is a professional ally who will champion their cause (their attorney -- or if no attorney, the judge).

A case is properly prepared by gathering statements from allies -- family, friends, and professionals. (Seeking to gain the allegiance of the children is automatic -- they too are seen as either allies or enemies. A simple admonition will not stop this.) Generally, those with personality disorders are highly skilled at -- and invested in -- the adversarial process.

Those with personality disorders often have an intensity that convinces inexperienced professionals -- counselors and attorneys -- that what they say is true. Their charm, desperation, and drive can reach a high level in this very emotional, bonding process with the professional. Yet this intensity is a characteristic of a personality disorder, and is completely independent from the accuracy of their claims.

What Can Be Done

Judges, attorneys, and family court counselors need to be trained in identifying personality disorders and how to treat them. Mostly, a corrective on-going relationship is needed -- preferably with a counselor. However, they usually must be ordered into this because their belief systems include a life-time of denial and avoidance of self-reflection.

Family Code Section 3190 (California) allows the court to order up to one year of counseling for parents, if: "(1) The dispute between the parents or between a parent and the child poses a substantial danger to the best interest of the child. [or] (2)The counseling is in the best interest of the child." Even short-term counseling can help.

Therapists, in addition to being supportive, need to help clients challenge their own thinking: about their own role in the dispute; about the accuracy of their view of the other party; and about their high expectations of the court. Further, therapists should never form clinical opinions or write declarations about parties they haven't interviewed.

Likewise, attorneys need to also challenge their clients' thinking and not accept their declarations at face value. More time should be spent educating them to focus on negotiating solutions, rather than escalating blame. The court should make greater use of sanctions under Family Code Section 271 for parties and attorneys who refuse to negotiate and unnecessarily escalate the conflict and costs of litigation.

The court must realize that the parties are often not equally at fault. One or both parties may have a personality disorder, but that does not necessarily mean both are offenders (violent, manipulative, or lying). A non-offending, dependent spouse may truly need the court's assistance in dealing with the offender. The court should not be neutralized by mutual allegations without looking deeper. Otherwise, because of their personality style, the most offending party is often able to continue their offender behavior -- either by matching the other's true allegations for a neutral outcome, or by being the most skilled at briefly looking good and thereby receiving the court's endorsement.

The court is in a unique position to motivate needed change in personal behavior. In highly contested cases, counseling or consequences should be ordered. Professionals and parties must work together to fully diagnose and treat each person's underlying problems, rather than allowing the parties (and their advocates) to become absorbed in an endless adversarial process. Because their largest issues are internal, they will never be resolved in court.

High Conflict Institute provides training and consultations, as well and books, DVDs and CDs regarding dealing with High Conflict People (HCPs) in legal, workplace, educational, and healthcare disputes. Bill Eddy is the President of the High Conflict Institute and the author of "It's All Your Fault!", "Splitting", "BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns" and "Don't Alienate the Kids!". He is an author, attorney, mediator, and therapist. Bill has presented seminars to attorneys, judges, mediators, ombudspersons, human resource professionals, employee assistance professionals, managers, and administrators in 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, and Australia. For more information about High Conflict Institute, our seminars and consultations, Bill Eddy or to purchase a book, CD or DVD, visit: http://www.HighConflictInstitute.com or call 602-606-7628.

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Personality Disorders Can Hurt Your Business

Personality Disorders are psychiatric conditions that usually cause life-long problems in both personal and work relationships for the individual. The reason for this is that the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of the person do not match expectations of society.

There are ten different types of personality disorders and although criteria is complex, following is an extremely brief description of each:

1. Antisocial - These individuals live and behave as though they do not have a conscience.

2. Avoidant - People who do not do things that they need to do even if the task would benefit them, can fall into this category.

3. Borderline - Those who act immature and tend to be in crisis most of the time might be diagnosed as having this personality disorder.

4. Dependent - When people cannot seem to live or make decisions on their own, they could possibly have this disorder.

5. Histrionic - These are the "drama queens" who make everything into a big deal.

6. Narcissistic - The person who is arrogant and totally in love with him-herself might have a Narcissistic personality disorder.

7. Obsessive-compulsive - Those with this disorder tend to have thoughts and feelings that escalate drastically followed by behaviours that are not directly associated with them.

8. Paranoid - This person is afraid that everyone and everything is out to get them.

9. Schizoid - These people usually live in social isolation and are indifferent to other people.

10. Schizotypical - When a person has trouble with relationships, appearance, and disturbing thoughts, they could be schizotypical.

It can be very difficult to diagnose personality disorders. In fact, this is usually done by psychiatrists. Just because someone meets some of the criteria does not mean that they have the diagnosis.

Severity might range from mild to severe and many do not go for help unless they are have difficulties in their lives or another mental illness such as depression or anxiety. Medications and talk therapy may be helpful but Personality Disorders are not cured. They are only managed.

Imagine how difficult it might be to have someone in your business with a full-blown Personality Disorder. You and they would likely face problems on a regular basis unless the person is following a treatment plan and functioning at a high level.

The good news is that if you or someone who is working with you has a personality disorder, there is help available. The first step is to set an appointment with a psychiatrist so that an assessment can be completed.

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Abandonment Issues for Dissociative Trauma Survivors with DID/MPD or Borderline Personality Disorder

Abandonment is such a tender issue for trauma survivors. Most survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/MPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) have had more than their fair share of genuine abandonment instances.

For severe trauma survivors, abandonment would have been experienced over and over in various situations:

Each time your parents or caregivers turned a blind eye to the sexual abuse or physical abuse that was occurring to you right there in your own household
Each time your parents or caregivers abandoned their role of safety and became the perpetrator of your abuse
Each time your parents or caregivers ignored your physical needs, leaving you to be hungry, cold, unkempt, improperly dressed, neglected in any way
Each time your parents or caregivers handed you over to someone else that was physically or sexually abusing you
Each time your parents or caregivers left you alone for extended periods of time, leaving you to tend to your own care when you were too young to be taking care of yourself by yourself
Each time your parents or caregivers refused to give you proper medical attention or medical treatment
Each time your parents or caregivers ignored your pleas or cries for help, turning a deaf ear, and leaving you to deal with your crisis without their assistance

For survivors with DID, these kinds of instances of abandonment happened on a frequent basis. All too many survivors were abandoned on a weekly basis, and for some people, on a daily basis.

How does this kind of abandonment affect people?

Excessive, repeated, severe abandonment teaches survivors to not trust. It teaches that other people cannot be counted on. It teaches them that they are alone in the world. It makes them believe that no one will help, or no one will be there for them.

What's worse, it gives deeper emotional messages to the survivors, drilling in feelings about worthlessness, unworthiness, unimportance, having no value, being bad, being stupid, being invisible. It eliminates and destroys any self-esteem the survivor could develop.

It creates a deep-seated anger, an ongoing emptiness, a constant sense of isolation.

It scars the heart and pierces the soul.

How can survivors of extreme abandonment recover from such emotional wounding?

First of all, to heal from extreme abandonment, it is important to realize and understand that your parents and caregivers were truly in the wrong for neglecting your needs. When parents and caregivers make such huge mistake in their roles of tending to children, the mistake belongs to them. It is not a message about the child, it is a message about the parent.

Parents are wrong, sometimes criminally wrong, legally wrong, in some of their abandoning behaviors. Do not assume that your parents were "right" in their abandoning behaviors. They were very likely doing something wrong.

Once a survivor truly hears and understands the fact that their parents and caregivers are responsible for the improper treatment of a child, then that survivor can begin their own path for healing.

But healing from abandonment is not easy. The wounds went deep into your core existence, and overcoming that level of emotional wounding takes a lot of time and repeated effort.

Some of the steps involved in healing from abandonment are:


Remembering again and again that the abandonment was not your fault
Remembering again and again that you are not a bad person because your parents or caregivers committed crimes against you
Learning that while some people are criminals, not all people are criminals, meaning, while your parents were willing to abandon you to such a huge degree, not all people will act in the same manner
Learning to trust again, ever so slowly, little bit by bit. Dare to try. Dare to reach out. Dare to build relationships.
Finding people, even if only one or two, that you can build meaningful relationships with
Being a trustworthy, reliable person so that other people will develop trust in you
Addressing your anger issues at the true offenders of your pain. If you go "on the attack" to people that make small errors in your relationship (while refusing to address your feeling at your parents or caregivers who committed grave errors), then you will find yourself alone time and time again. Work hard at showing the appropriate amount of anger equal to the level of the mistake. Going overboard at people in the current day will not be helpful.
Working really really hard at separating the issues that belong to people in your past versus attributing your pain to people in your current day world
Develop relationships with pets or animals if you are too scared to trust people. Building connections with another living being, where you each rely on each other, is a great starting place
Remembering and realizing that safe people will come back to you time and time again, unless you do something to push them away over and over again. You can keep good people in your life if you want to.
Finding little treasures / trinkets / small reminders of people to help you maintain that sense of object permanence. Out of sight does not mean that they are gone from your life.
Working on extended your comfort zone in terms of how often you need to hear from someone in order to feel secure in that relationship. Repeated contact, vs. excessive contact, is an acceptable way to maintain relationships.
Finding safe but creative ways of building relationships. For example, if you are afraid to meet with people face-to-face, build online relationships. Use an online therapist or an online support group as a starting place. Connect through blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Abandonment is painful, but it is still possible to build positive and healthy relationships with other people. It will take consistent work on your part to overcome the negative, damaging teachings given to you by neglectful parents and poor caregivers, but you can do it.

Unless you really want to be alone, you don't have to be left alone anymore.

Kathy Broady, LCSW
Clinical Director
http://www.AbuseConsultants.com
http://www.SurvivorForum.com

About the author: Kathy Broady has worked with adults, teenagers, and children with emotional pain and survivors of trauma and abuse for over 20 years. Her specialties are with trauma, dissociative disorders, severe sexual abuse, depression, bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, and self-injury. Individual and group sessions are available both online and in-person. Yes, online therapy has many benefits and is a creative solution for many therapeutic needs! With competence, gentle compassion, patience, and understanding, she can assist you with your healing journey. I assure you, her understanding of complex family dynamics and abuse issues far exceeds the norm.

Check out Kathy Broady's WordPress blogs: Discussing Dissociation and Protective Parenting.

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Pathological Partnerships - 7 Signs Your Romantic Partner Has a Personality Disorder

Relationships have enough challenges under normal circumstances, when both partners are emotionally healthy. However, when there is a personality disorder involved in one of the partners, a relationship can become a futile exercise leading to misery. These disorders include sociopathy/psychopathy, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder. There is a significant segment of the population that is simply "wired" mentally in a fundamentally different way than the rest of us -- and the wiring difference may not be immediately obvious. However, this different way of processing mentally and emotionally may lead to behavior which is bewildering, hurtful, destructive, and often incomprehensible to the rest of us. Here are 7 signs that your partner may have a personality disorder:

1. Grandiose sense of self-worth. Your partner may feel superior to others, adopt a disdainful attitude, and believe that he or she should only associate with high status or special people or institutions. He or she may play up achievements and exaggerate accomplishments.

2. Lack of empathy. This may manifest itself over time as you begin to wonder if your partner really "gets it" emotionally. People with personality disorders are not able to put themselves in another person's shoes. He or she may make a show of empathizing, but it is not genuine understanding.

3. Lack of guilt or remorse. Again, your partner may be able to mimic this emotional state, but genuine guilt is not there. The true emotional source is absent. At heart, the individual may feel that the victim of their hurtful actions deserved it or "set themselves up" by being weak.

4. Poor impulse control and risk taking behaviors. The need for instant gratification and a tendency for boredom often contributes to destructive behaviors, like sexual compulsivity and drug addiction, in the pathological individual.

5. Compulsive lying and manipulation. Disordered people may lie about everything, big and small, insignificant or not. They may be the classic "con artist" and take advantage of others whenever it benefits them.

6. Irresponsibility and lack of follow through to commitments. This may be an inability to maintain gainful employment, pay bills, or follow through on marital commitments.

7. Extreme black and white thinking. This may manifest in extreme valuing and devaluation of you as a person. Either you are amazing and on a pedestal, or you are a horrible person unworthy of any respect or consideration.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder - Are You Really Going Crazy?

For those who have been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive personality disorder, at times it can feel like you are going completely crazy. The compulsive habits, the anxiety, the fear and the stress can leave you drained and wanting nothing more than relief. Your doctor will suggest different things to treat your obsessive compulsive personality disorder, or OCD, like therapy and medication; but for some these suggestions aren't good options. After all, who wants to be stuck taking a mind altering medication for the rest of their lives? For these people, a good alternative to try before therapy and medication is breaking your obsessive habits.

In the therapy world, this is called cognitive behavioral therapy, and it is used to treat illnesses such as obsessive compulsive personality disorder. The idea behind this theory is that your mind learns to cope with stress and anxiety by creating the habits and rituals characterized by OCD. But guess what? Your mind can unlearn them too. There are a few really good programs out there that can help you understand why your mind created these habits, but more importantly, they can help you re-teach your mind how to cope with stress and anxiety.

So what do these obsessive compulsive personality disorder programs look like? While it depends on the program, the really good ones are going to take a holistic approach. This means that they will include lots of different things, from techniques for retraining your mind to handle anxiety, to ways to decrease stress levels. The best programs are going to be the ones that follow holistic approaches, and that have been developed by actual obsessive compulsive personality disorder sufferers. After all, who better to help you overcome your OCD than someone who has already successfully overcome their own OCD?

But be careful about obsessive compulsive personality disorder programs. There are plenty of people out there looking to make a quick buck off your suffering. So look for programs that offer straight, honest information about OCD, including information that you won't hear from the "professionals". If possible, sign up for a free trial too, so that you can get an idea of what a program will offer before you hand over any money. And remember that plenty of people have successfully treated their OCD without medications and therapy. You can too, if you are willing to find a good program and follow its guidelines.

Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is something that people often approach as something that they cannot cure, but rather something that they can only treat. The problem is that you actually can cure it but most people simply don't believe that this is possible. The problem with that is that you can only do what you believe you can do. Are you willing to believe that there are those of us who have actually had OCD and beat it? If you do, then you have passed the first step to see whether you are ready to get rid of OCD. Because OCD is of the mind, paradigm shifts are everything at this stage of the game.

To get cutting edge techniques to beat OCD permanently click here: obsessive compulsive personality disorder

Derek Soto is an ex-sufferer of OCD who teaches people how to overcome their OCD for good in a very short time using little known techniques which are usually ignored by the medical field altogether. Derek Soto also mentors people on a wide range of subjects including how to control your thinking naturally, how to defeat anxiety, phobias and how to change your thought processes so that you will be happier and live a more fulfilling life, period.

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Multiple Personality Disorder and Addictions

Renamed Dissociative Identity Disorder

Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D), renamed Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.), is a very complex and controversial diagnosis to attach to someone. The likes of 'Sybil' come to mind when people think of M.P.D. A much milder version is more often the norm, than the crazy, out of control patient often depicted by Hollywood.

It is Common to have 5-25 Different Personalities

The official Psychiatric diagnostic criteria for D.I.D., according to the DSM IV -TR include; the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states, at least two of these identities recurrently take control of the person's behavior, and the inability to recall important personal information that is to extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

Family and Friends Report

Family and friends of a D.I.D. may report the patient has frequent gaps in memory (personal), both past and recent, reports of finding items of clothing at home that the individual cannot remember having, and not remembering a whole segment of the day, as to where they were or what they were doing. Misplacing keys, wallets, purses, & cars in parking lots is common.

Misdiagnosed for Years

Quite often, the D.I.D. patient will be described as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, meaning one moment the person may seem very passive and submissive, and then suddenly an impatient, controlling and/or self-destructive person emerges. It is very common that a person with D.I.D. will be misdiagnosed for six to seven years before the dissociative identifies are correctly identified. Usually the misdiagnosis given is Bi-Polar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder.

Personalities Out of Touch with Others

Each personality state may be experienced as if it has a distinct personal history, self-image, and identity, including different names. I have had clients where one personality will write left handed with beautiful handwriting, while another personality will insist he/she can only use the right hand to write. To be talking to an adult one minute and a young, rebellious adolescent another is fairly common.

Mental, Physical, or Sexual Abuse

My experience with multiple personalities that use alcohol or drugs often have only one personality who uses. Sometimes the host personality may be aware that he/she drinks, but no clue about getting stoned. In discussing the addictive behavior, quite often the emerging personality years prior chose to use an addictive path to distract the host personality from some form of abuse (mental, physical, or sexual). Or even still, chose to be sexually promiscuous as a survival mode on the streets.

Enormous Problems for an Addict

There is no doubt that D.I.D. is a mysterious disorder. One that needs attention and extensive counseling to resolve. Having one of many personalities that is an addict creates enormous problems in overcoming addictions because until that addicted personality is integrated (becomes whole) to the host he/she will always have the alternative to escape real or perceived danger with drugs and/or alcohol.

Why Use Drugs or Alcohol?

This is really a simple one to explain. Just like Bi-polar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Hyper-Attention Deficit Disorder, and just about any type of disorder can crossover into addictions because people strive to feel normal. I have had many clients who are addicts that do have Multiple Personality Disorder. With alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, and any kind of addiction, there are those who will do anything to feel normal. Whether to not feel the pain of shame or to settle the chaos inside, people choose everyday to medicate in an effort to distract, avoid, or to deny their life struggles.

If you would like to read more about MPD write comments and questions below or contact Dr. Steve.

Dr. Jackson had a Doctorate in Christian Counseling from Omega Bible Institute and Seminary. He works with clients primarily between the ages of 35 and 55 who struggle with all kinds of addictions. You can contact him at doctorjackson@12dayrehab.com

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Partners With Personality Disorders - 7 Signs Your Partner is Pathological

Any relationship takes work and effort to be successful. However, the reality is there is a segment of the population that is not wired in a way that allows for a healthy relationship to be a possibility. Personality disorders - including narcissism, sociopathy/psychopathy, and borderline personality disorder may not be obvious at first. However, if you frequently find yourself feeling hurt, bewildered, and confused by your partner's behavior, it is possible you may be involved with someone who has a personality disorder. Here are 9 signs that your partner may be pathological:

1. A sense of entitlement. Your partner may feel superior to others, and as if they deserve special treatment. They may also express a sentiment that they should associate with high class and "special" people. They may come across as disdainful toward others.

2. Lack of empathy. Your partner may have honed a good act and appear to "feel" for others. Yet after a time it may come across as superficial and forced, because it is. Someone with a personality disorder does not truly emotionally relate to others.

3. Poor impulse control and reckless, risky behavior that does not take into account the effects on others. It is thought that many individuals with personality disorders do not have the same strong reaction to danger that the rest of us so. As a consequence they get bored easily and may crave the excitement of risky behavior, such as sexual transgressions.

4. Lack of remorse. A true lack of guilt and a conscience is a standout characteristic of a personality disorder. Again there may be an attempt made to mimic guilt and remorse for hurtful actions, but the emotional source is missing.

5. Difficulty with responsibilities and commitments. These individuals may not be able to maintain a responsible lifestyle, including holding down a job and paying bills. They may be unable to honor marital commitments. This may lead some to adopt a parasitic lifestyle, using others and living off of their good natures.

6. Manipulativeness and compulsive lying. If your partner lies about everything, big and small, significant and insignificant, this can be a sign of a personality disorder.

7. Grandiose self worth. Your partner may exaggerate achievements and play up their successes, and expect to be treated as if they are a genius - without the corresponding accomplishments to back up their claims.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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