Personality Disorders and Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

There is a problem with the term "personality disorder" - used to lump everyone with a personality disorder together with the same symptoms, like they're all the same- all malignant, dangerous and untreatable. They are not.

Narcissists make horrible parents because of their lack of empathy. And then, it's on a spectrum. Our culture fosters 'narcissism' in the general, still functional, manner found in most Americans. Most people think of themselves before others, most people want and expect money, fame, and possessions. They just fall short of actively hurting others to get money, fame, and possessions. The far end of the spectrum is the sociopath, the bad guy on so many TV shows. Survivors of child abuse were often raised by parents who are malignant narcissists or sociopaths.

People diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder are highly dramatic and emotional, but capable of having empathy. They may be too caught up in their own problems to show this empathy often, but, they're not going to lie and manipulate others out of pure malice or selfish greed like a narcissistic or sociopathic personality disorder.

Most people who were raised with abuse develop borderline behaviors and tendencies to some degree. With help and hard work they can deal with these. They want and are capable of relationships, once they've received the help they're seeking. This is the intent of most borderline behavior.... finding help.... finding someone who will listen and care.

It takes a lot of self inspection, and I mean continuously, every day- to see those behaviors in yourself and nip them before they effect another relationship or another day in a life that gets shorter and shorter with every season. But, borderlines are capable of change. Malignant narcissists and sociopaths definitely aren't capable of change and plain old narcissists aren't generally ever that motivated.

Adult survivors of child abuse often can be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Their behavior is meant to protect them, not hurt others. And unlike people on the spectrum of Narcissistic-Sociopathic disorders they want and can benefit from the care and concern of others. Many personality disordered would find offense being lumped together with malignant narcissists and sociopaths.

Connie Jean Conklin is the founder of SEASCAT. SEASCAT stands for Supportive Environment for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse & Trauma. Please check out the seascat website at http://www.seascat.org.

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