Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a very difficult disorder to live with. Those with this BPD have difficulties managing strong emotions and forming healthy relationships with those closest to them, such as significant others and family. BDP is a relational problem, and at it's core are abandonment issues.

There are many excellent treatments for treating Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. The most common treatment modalities include DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and medications. DBT focuses on teaching people how to better manage their thoughts and feelings. It is often done in group settings with a trained professional. CBT works at replacing negative thoughts and behaviors associated with BPD. Medications target the symptoms accompanying BDP, which are often Depression and Anxiety. Medications are rarely, if ever, used exclusively for treating BPD and therapy is more effective for actually teaching people more effective ways of tackling the disorder.

Any combination of these therapies are excellent for treating the disorder effectively. In my experience as a counselor, I have heard from many people who report experiencing relief from BPD after going through a DBT program.

Another way to get support for dealing with BPD is to look for support groups in your area. You can find Borderline Personality Disorder support groups by checking with your therapist or by looking online. Support groups are great in that those people with BPD can form relationships with others who have similar issues and learn to work through them together.

Also, you can call your local NAMI. NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and is a great resource for people with mental illnesses and their families. It's a great way to get educated about mental illness issues and to find out what supports and services are available in your local area. NAMI's website is http://www.NAMI.org From the site, you can look up your own local branch of NAMI and call them to inquire about what type of help is available for you. Their free information number is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

You can also look for Borderline Personality Disorder self help books. There are many good books available which cover the disorder in depth, and provide ways for people to treat BPD. A trip to your library or a quick online search will uncover many excellent choices.

Tom Zondman has an M.A. in Clinical Counseling and has been in the Counseling field for 16 years. He enjoys writing about his work and other hobbies. For more information on Borderline Personality Disorders, check out his website at http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisordersymptoms.com

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How it Felt to Be Inside My Borderline Personality Disordered Brain

If you conduct a Google search right now, you will see plenty of studies that show that our brains, physically speaking, are different. This knowledge, hopefully will bring you some relief, especially if you have experienced the self-doubt that we've felt when those around you expect you to act "normal" when your brain doesn't function well. I am presently participating in a study of my brain because I believe current research is a part of the reason for our hopeful future!

Here are two examples I just pulled from a quick search (note: I have not thoroughly researched these particular studies and am not endorsing them, I am merely citing them as some of the many that are out there):

"The patients with BPD had nearly 16% smaller volumes of the hippocampus (P less than .001) and 8% smaller volumes of the amygdala (P less than .05) than the healthy controls." Clink on link to study here.

"Subjects with BPD had a significantly smaller frontal lobe compared to comparison subjects." Click on link to study here.

There is a ton of research that shows our brains really are different than "normal" people, and that helps explain things like our lack of impulse control, why we feel pain so deeply and why pleasure is often hard to feel.

I have a friend who has great compassion for his mentally retarded sister but refused to extend grace to his daughter with borderline personality disorder. The reason, he explained, was that he believed his daughter was just being willful and lazy, while his sister obviously had a disability! Ahhhhhhhh! Can you see how we might get a little (OK, a lot) worked up sometimes? Yes, we may appear to be some of the brightest and most talented people out there, but on various levels, we don't THINK very well at times and suffer from degrees of impairment, when all the while, people around us expect WAY more from us than we are capable of!

And when those we care about express disappointment or frustration about our "failures", this causes us great (di)stress and then our brains function even more poorly. The other biggest stressors include: heavy performance demands (such as tough love, lay offs) and relationship difficulties (such as perceived or real abandonment.) These stressors may cause us to be "triggered" or highly aroused. (A note of great encouragement: you learn early in recovery what are your biggest "triggers" so you can start to avoid those situations. This often brings some degree of immediate relief. Eventually, you actually learn how to tolerate things that upset you greatly in the past.)

Because our emotions spike quicker, higher, and last longer than "normal" people, once we get triggered, we quickly go into a fight or flight response. Our internal response is more intense and lasts longer than most people. It feels like your adrenaline is coursing through your body, your heart is rapidly pounding and your thought processes are focused only on defending yourself, running or on dying. You can not think logically at this time because your emotions over-ride cognitive ability. On top of all that, it takes a very, very long time to calm down (up to three days for me), which is one of the reasons why many with our diagnosis self-harm or turn to drugs or alcohol--to try to stop feeling that way.

What it feels like in my head at that point is that I can NOT think clearly, except to defend myself, run or die. Fight or flight. Multiplied.

I hope that helps explain a little. One of the many reasons DBT training (see my links page) is so helpful is that it teaches us how to 1. become aware (mindful) of what exactly is going on in our brains and get control of our thoughts instead of them controlling us, 2. how not to get triggered in the first place and 3. how to calm ourselves down. It works! There are also medications that help with a lot of this and can offer enormous relief while the skills are being learned.

Take good care,

Tami

Tami Green
Healing from Borderline Personality Disorder is possible. Visit my website to see how I successfully overcame this disorder. http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com or email me: tami@borderlinepersonalitysupport.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder - A Closer Look

About one to three percent of the American adult population is currently diagnosed with this condition. Borderline personality disorder denotes a disruption in normal personality function that is manifested through character and mood instability. People with this disorder often have a distorted self-image and an undefined identity. Usually, they engage in unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships and exhibit potentially damaging behaviors. By definition, some may find familiarization with the experience related to BPD . But this should not raise alarm. For one, you may not have the condition at all. It might just be that your unfortunate life mirrors the experiences of a person with the disorder. Nevertheless, BPD is not something to be fearful of. Borderline personality disorder is curable with a series of psychotherapy and prescribed medications.

The onset of borderline personality disorder symptoms typically occur during the period of adolescence. This is when volatile and disorderly conduct becomes predominant. It may continue on for many years but it naturally subsides over time. To ensure accuracy, the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorder is often delayed until the period of maturity. Doctors find it necessary to discount the influence of personality development on behavior problems before jumping to any conclusion. Early diagnosis of BPD is only possible provided the patient is in dire need of help and the symptoms are present and persistent over a period of one year. With the following observable characteristics, a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is made.

* alterations in self perception ("I'm good" vs. "I'm bad, homosexual vs heterosexual)

* shifts in life goals

* frequent changes in job profile

* impermanent social affiliations

* erratic romantic relationships (love-hate)

* difficulty in accepting exemptions or "gray-areas"

* emotional liability and inappropriate hostility

* short but intense periods of depression or anxiety

* impulsive and risky behavior as well as suicidal idealization

Borderline personality disorder is a very sensitive and complex condition. It may spawn from a history of trauma, as in sexual abuse, or be caused by genetic, neurobiological, anatomical and environmental factors. Hormonal abnormalities, particularly that of serotonin (which is also related to depression), may also be credited for the development of BPD. Other disorders associated with borderline personality disorder are mood disorders, depression and substance abuse.

This particular disorder was once featured in the 1999 film "Girl Interrupted". The motion picture provided important insight to the thoughts and struggles of a person with a borderline personality disorder, and gave a clear picture of the treatment facility atmosphere in which she was bound to settle. The film, which was based on an autobiography, revealed BPD as not only a mental but a social disease. The negative stigma of its diagnosis has not only punished troubled parties but their families as well. It must be made clear that BPD is not an infectious disease. Therefore, communities should make every effort not to socially ostracize people with the condition. In fact, a greater awareness and understanding of the borderline personality disorder should be promoted to foster a safer, more healing environment for those afflicted.

To learn more about borderline personality disorder, or helping loved ones with their borderline personality disorder treatment, visit our site and download our e-book.

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Borderline Personality Disorder - Beyond Managing the Symptoms - Having a Great Life!

Long gone are the dark days of suffering in isolation from the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Many of us have worked hard through recovery and are now leading productive, happy lives with meaningful relationships. We have careers we love, a strong sense of self, and stable emotional regulation. Even though Borderline Personality Disorder is a relatively new diagnosis, with even newer treatment options, those of us who have accepted our ailment and worked hard at recovery are now beyond just managing the symptoms-we are living wonderful lives.

Remember those days not long ago when a diagnosis of cancer meant certain death? We no longer think in those terms for cancer. Today, most cancer patients successfully undergo treatment and get on with life. The same is becoming true about Borderline Personality Disorder. Though once considered a virtual death sentence, a diagnosis today can lead to entering into effective treatment and getting on with living a meaningful life.

We are finding that our recovery is worked in steps:

1. Accepting diagnosis, getting educated and finding treatment.

2. Getting symptoms under control and going into remission.

3. Building relationships, finding meaningful work, knowing and believing in self.

As you may imagine, step three is where the real fun begins, but eventually we all learn to embrace everything about our lives, even the hard parts of the past. But many of us can recall driving a stake in the ground and saying, "this is where it all changes!" the day we figured out what exactly was wrong with us--the day we accepted our diagnosis.

If you are in step two and beginning to get your symptoms under control, there are some things you can begin doing now to lead into step three.

Start getting involved with people, some-where, some how, even if it is only through the mental health community, such as support groups for those with mental illness. You may also find people in church groups or college courses. Take a self-inventory of what you really love and join a club or group of like-minded individuals. This could be anything from a singing to a dog-loving group. People everywhere are trying to find other people to befriend.

If you have been in isolation for an extended period of time, it may seem awkward to be around people at first. You may not know what to do. Here's a tip for you: wherever you go, just serve. Just go to help. Notice other's needs and contribute where you can. This takes the pressure off of you and will really help build your confidence. The old adage, "if you want a friend, be a friend" really does hold true. Just go serve. That's all.

To find meaningful work that makes you feel good about yourself, begin by building on serving in a more organized way. For example, once you've gone to that certain club or group for a little while, volunteer to make the coffee or put up the chairs each time. Start very small and build. Over time, your resilience and confidence will grow and you will be able to do more.

You have been through so much. Be patient with yourself. And know that all you've been through can be used for many good things. Your innate sensitivity will begin to serve you well.

And remember, charity does indeed begin at home. No matter how ill you are when you begin your recovery, you can begin by doing small things for the people you live with. Start today by doing something small for some-one near, without them even knowing it. And don't forget to smile!

Tami Green

To see how I overcame this disorder, including treatment options, visit my website at: http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com

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Sex and Borderline Personality Disorder

It seems to be a common theme with those suffering from borderline personality disorder that whether in a monogamous relationship are not the person with BPD often finds themselves either having reckless sex with multiple partners or attempting to have numerous sexual relationships.

In this article we will quickly explore sex and bpd. One of the common theories as to why people with BPD have such reckless sex lives is the fact that they constantly feel emotional emptiness. Even when they find a stable emotional relationship their fear of abandonment causes them to become paranoid about the stability of their relationship and the validity of the love coming from their partner. A possibility for the reasoning behind sex and borderline personality disorder is that the sufferer of BPD actually tries to self sabotage their relationship in order to end the relationship before they are actually abandoned by their partner.

Another theory as to reckless sex and borderline personality disorder is that the BPD sufferer actually gets an emotional high from bonding with the sexual partner even if only for a short time. They are literally trying to fill in emptiness inside themselves and they try and try to fill that void with sex. After having a sexual affair the person with borderline personality disorder may not have the same amount of guilt as someone with non-BPD. The reason is projection, oftentimes people with borderline personality disorder project their negative behaviors onto others including their partners. This means that someone with this illness who is having a reckless sexual affair may have a tendency to build a fake affair that their spouse or loved one is having in their head. They literally make themselves believe that their partner is also cheating and that they are therefore justified in having their reckless sexual affair.

There are many reasons that can lead to sex and this illness, if you think you have borderline personality disorder yourself you should seek professional counseling. If your partner currently has borderline personality disorder and you fear they have reckless sexual behavior you should let your feelings be known in either work with the person on helping them get therapy and receive treatment or decide if the relationship cannot go on. Having borderline personality disorder partner is having a reckless extramarital sexual affair is not only a risk for your health but your emotional well-being. People with bpd have a keen ability to cover up their affairs and make you feel that you are the crazy one for accusing them of doing something behind your back.

Before you get caught up in trying to prove whether or not your spouse with bpd is having extramarital sexual affairs you probably want to focus on the fact that they have borderline personality disorder and make a decision on whether or not to support them in treatment or end the relationship you are currently in. If you are being abused by your spouse in any way regardless of the fact that they have BPD you need to place your safety above everything else. No mental illness is an excuse for physical or emotional abuse. If you are currently looking for a therapist that specializes in borderline personality disorder make sure that you bet their credentials and that they understand BPD as many therapists have a difficult time diagnosing BPD in finding suitable treatments.

For more information on Sex and Borderline Personality Disorder please visit http://www.bpdsecrets.com.

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The 7 Steps For An Efficient Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

Are you suffering from BPD and wondering what is the best Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment?

Here you will learn the seven main steps that have to be covered.

Step One - Stabilizing

The first step of the treatment is to stabilize the emotions and the mental turmoil. This can be achieved with specific techniques like mindful breathing, relaxation techniques, and meditation.

These exercises soothe the mind and the body in such a way that they become more receptive in the following stages.

Step Two - Medication

If the results achieved at step one are insufficient, medication can be of a real help if taken the right way. But you have to remember not to take just any kind of medicine and in any quantity because they are fairly addictive and many come with serious side effects.

Please pay a visit to your GP or psychiatrist before taking any kind of drug and use them only under their supervision. If done otherwise you expose yourself to high risks of acquiring additional mental and/or physical problems you will have to tackle later.

Step Three - Identifying The Causes of BPD

At this stage the actual causing factors of BPD will be uncovered to be addressed in the borderline personality disorder treatment.

Generally the causes of BPD are to be found in the emotional and mental aftermaths of specific deprecating encounters during the first years of life. The causes are represented by general self-downing thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes which are impeding the daily activities.

Step Four - Disputing

When the causes of BPD have been identified they need to be discussed and disputed in order to check their accuracy. Specific techniques are used in this undertaking, like logical debating, checking their soundness in reality, and analyzing their usefulness from pragmatic view points.

Step Five - Changing

This is the phase where the transformation process begins. As you know everything in life starts with a change in our perspective. They are working similarly to a sieve which will be passed only by the physical parts of a specific size. If you want to get more through, you will need to change the sieve.

Step Six - Implementation

At this stage will be implemented the necessary changes identified during the previous step. What this phase is actually doing for you is that it helps you create new emotional and mental habits for the everyday life so you will be able to use them without analyzing every step. Thus your new healthy self will become your second nature.

Step Seven - Improve Your Overall Life

You may have heard that people who have targets in life live five to seven years more than average people. Well, this is actually true because when being active and creative your energies are activated in such a way that your health and contentment are at high levels.

So at this final stage personal development strategies will be used in order to bring up your full potential. The human spirit and body are the strongest when being active and creative.

So if you want to find out how to kick-start your recovery process, I have something for you. It is an eBook I am giving away and it is called "Surviving The Borderline Hellhole".

Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

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Borderline Personality Disorder - How to Diagnose and Cope

This article makes clear the diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder and suggests ways of coping.

Unlike physical problems, mental health problems are much more complex to diagnose. If you visited to ten different doctors with a broken leg, ten doctors would tell you that your leg was broken. If you visited ten psychiatrists with a variety of odd sounding emotional and "invisible" complaints I would be surprised if you came back with ten similar diagnosis. If you mix into this picture slight cultural differences, such as the reluctance in the UK to diagnose compared to the easy diagnosis handed out in the US, the picture becomes even more confused.

This is the way that doctors will describe and diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a long standing pattern of instability in relationships, unstable self image and extreme impulsivity. It is usually apparent in early adulthood and exists in a variety of different contexts. It is indicated by 5 or more of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Re-occurring patterns of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating extremes of idealization of a person and followed by devaluation
Unstable identity, a persistently unstable self image and sense of self.
Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are self damaging such as dangerous driving, sex, spending, alcohol or drug abuse or binge eating.
Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures or threats or self mutilating behaviour.
Instability due to reactivity of mood, such as intense irritability, anger and hostility, boredom or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely up to a few days.
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Difficulty in controlling anger, or intense or inappropriate anger such as recurrent fights and ongoing misplaced anger.
Transient and stress related paranoid thinking or severe dissociative symptoms (losing sense of ourselves and reality) often experienced as feelings of "going crazy" or "out of control".

As you can see it's a severe pathology, which causes people immense distress. Having worked with many people with Borderline Personality Disorder I appreciate how difficult it is to treat. By definition it's part of the "personality" and as such is difficult (some would say impossible) to change; a bit like trying to change your sense of humour.

There are, as always, a range of medicines that can help. They seem to work well for some people and not for others. Other interventions that work are the simple, straightforward ones; things that act to stabilise and simplify rather than to add to the already busy psychopathology. The top three on my list are:

Consistency

People who are living with Borderline Personality Disorder are riding an emotional roller coaster. The last thing they need people around them to do is join in, which paradoxically, is what tends to happen. As difficult as it is, (and it is really difficult) it's important not to become part of the emotional roller coaster; to not be drawn into arguments, not to react to insults, rejection or adulation but to remain consistent, empathic and reliable.

Keep It Simple

Avoid complicated coping mechanisms. Re-enforce a general message that "feelings are not fact" and "feelings don't stay the same". No matter how bad we might feel, and people who live with Borderline Personality Disorder sometimes feel as bad as it's possible to get and are absolutely desperate and suicidal, it's important to remember that it won't stay the same. All feelings change.

Treat The Symptoms

As Borderline Personality Disorder shifts slowly over long periods of time it's often useful to concentrate on associated symptoms, such as providing ways to cope with anxiety and stress, how to deal with suicidal ideation or ways to quit drugs.

Borderline Personality Disorder is not an easy disorder to either diagnose or live with. It is often obscured by the high profile symptoms such as drug use or suicide attempts.

If you feel that you, or someone you know maybe suffering from this personality disorder try to find a professional who has a lot of experience dealing with it. It often confounds inexperienced professionals who unwittingly get pulled into the problems rather than stabilising them.

http://www.thelifechangepeople.com
http://www.thelifechangepeople.com/read-my-story

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Borderline Personality Disorder - 7 Symptoms and What it Is

Borderline Personality Disorder is a particularly distressing condition, because there's no cure for it and there's no drug that can give a 'quick fix.'

Someone suffering acute anxiety or depression does at least have the advantage of taking Klonopin or Xanax to take the edge off their anguish for a while. With Borderline Personality Disorder, the people who suffer from it, mainly women, don't have that luxury.

One to two percent of American adults suffer from this disease, and it's reported by therapists that it's the most common of all the personality disorders that they treat. The reason isn't far to seek.

It seems that the root desire of people with BPD, their sort of 'raison d'etre,' is to find someone to care for them, to nurture them, look after them. A lot of sufferers report an abusive and/or neglected childhood. This illness starts to manifest itself in early adulthood and is less common in older people.

The big problem is that the sufferer goes to the doctor or therapist, thereby finding someone to listen to them. The doctor will prescribe medications and the therapist will do all that's possible to dig down and try to find out why the patient's acting as they do. This is fine, thinks the patient. Someone actually cares about me. So they keep going to the therapist, who may well have given them some 'homework' to do, like writing out all they can remember about their childhood.

They go back to the doctor, who sees no change in them simply because they haven't taken their medications. Why should I? they think, when I have someone to listen to me. In the end, both therapist and doctor become thoroughly fed up with them, and erroneously consider them time-wasters.

When or if they do form relationships, they're extremely intense and they expect the partner to be with them the whole time. If whomever they're with does finally leave them, they consider themselves as having been abandoned and become extremely angry.

Again, like Paranoid Schizophrenia, there are no grey areas in their life. Everything's black or white, good or evil. If they are left alone, they're liable to feel that they don't exist, that they're not real. I'm sure it must be a very alarming feeling.

Following on the heels of this, they become very impulsive, and reckless. For instance, they're likely to drive their car as fast as they possibly can. They often become very promiscuous and engage in drug abuse and drinking. They're also likely to self-mutilate to a greater or lesser degree. Occasionally, if the illness becomes really bad, they may hallucinate and develop paranoia and psychotic thinking. The symptoms of this disease are as follows.

1. They desperately try to avoid abandonment or being left on their own.

2. Because of this, they may develop a slew of very intense, but unstable, relationships.

3. Their self-image varies daily.

4. They're impulsive in at least two of the following areas; sex, spending money, drugs and alcohol, binge eating.

5. They become suicidal, either in fact or gesture.

6. Mood instability. They may become very irritable, anxious, dysphoric, (the opposite of euphoric).

7. Anger problems and fighting.

Drugs that can help are Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, They should help the depression and impulsiveness. Risperidal again can help with depression and the feelings of not being real, and anticonvulsant medications for anger. It's interesting to note that depression will creep in wherever it can

Mike Bond discussing Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a very nasty illness. There appears to be no recovery and there's no cure. Learn a lot more about various mental conditions on Mike's website at [http://www.panattack.com]. Read about his own experiences and don't forget to watch and listen to the video [http://www.panattack.com].

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Emotional Bullying in Borderline Personality Disorder

We usually think of bullies as big, scary men. We don't imagine that they could take the form of small, spiteful women. Most of us have observed that in grade school and high school, bullies come in both sexes, but we still tend to think of them as physically intimidating, physically threatening males.

In reality, there's a type of emotional bully who is far more dangerous and destructive than any physical one. The physical bully is usually a person who was bullied themselves as a child by someone bigger and stronger. They take out their hurt and angry feelings on peers who appear smaller and weaker than them. There are various effective ways of dealing with these types which I won't get into, here.

The emotional bully is a different creature. This person usually has a condition known as Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, which is characterized by a number of different signs and symptoms. Those with milder cases have terrible fears of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness and a habit of pushing away those who'd love or help them.

Those with a more severe and destructive form of the condition suffer from wide swings of mood, self-destructive behaviors, various addictions, excessive, uncontrollable anger and extreme touchiness. These people take offense at things which normal people would never consider to be a slight, and they are quick to exact vengeance.

Anyone who has had the misfortune of dealing with someone from the latter group knows how far this type of person will go in satisfying their need for revenge. Paradoxically, in their quest for so-called "justice" these Borderline individuals are the real ones causing damage, as opposed to the person who supposedly "wronged" them.

The word "Borderline" was originally used to describe this condition because some of the ideas these people entertain are so irrational and some of their beliefs are so unrealistic and rigidly fixed that they seem nearly psychotic. This condition, when severe, is considered to be on the borderline of insanity.

Individuals who have a milder version of the disorder can do very well in therapy. They can function fairly well in their lives and they tend not to make too much trouble for themselves or others. More severely affected individuals tend to be "trouble-makers" who engage in self-mutilation and/or interfere destructively in other people's lives.

They pit people against each-other, which is technically known as "splitting," and they cause a lot of suffering in the people they live and work with. They are manipulative, passive-aggressive, unreasonable, stubborn, erratic and highly impulsive. They get under people's skin. If you frequently find yourself talking with your co-workers about a colleague or supervisor who makes many of you incredibly angry and frustrated, this person most likely has Borderline Personality Disorder.

BPD individuals can be so full of rage that they go to extreme lengths to "punish" those who they feel have caused them some sort of offense. This can take the form of legal threats, attempts at blackmail, stalking and other types of harassment. The so-called offenses they are reacting to are virtually always imagined, but the angry, vengeful feelings of these disturbed individuals are very real.

Unfortunately, people with severe BPD are prone to keep escalating a situation if the other person tries to stand up for themselves. In their troubled mind, they perceive the person's self-defense as an offense against them. Sometimes, the best way of dealing with such an individual is to end all contact with them. This might mean changing jobs, moving to a new home or giving up certain hobbies or activities. It seems like a drastic response, but "Hell hath no fury like a Borderline scorned."

Our courts are burdened enough these days, and in reality, are vastly deficient when it comes to understanding and addressing the legal ramifications of mental disorders. Until such time as there are legal protections for the type of bullying and harassment that is so typical of the very ill BPD person, it's up to us to become less of a target to these people by withdrawing ourselves from contact with them and hoping that they don't keep pursuing their disturbed and destructive agenda.

Obviously, this is not to say that we shouldn't try to defend and protect ourselves from attacks to our safety and welfare, but that it's important to understand that individuals with BPD tend to be expert at using the legal system to their nefarious advantage. In their over-arching sense of vengeful entitlement they manipulate the legal system and use whatever legitimate and illegitimate means necessary to get back at those against whom they hold a grudge.

One consolation to their victims might be to recognize that people with severe BPD are deeply unhappy. They are incapable of forming normal, healthy attachments with others and their relationships are characterized by chronic conflict and frustration. They are constantly irritable and agitated but unable to soothe this malaise. They are as self-destructive as they are hurtful to others and they live lives of loneliness, alienation and meaninglessness.

If we are unfortunate enough to have had dealings with someone with a severe case of BPD, we can remind ourselves that however much they might have made us suffer, it was only temporary, whereas their unhappiness is never-ending. They are plagued by their paranoia, rage and vindictiveness. As much as I am wary of such individuals, I can't help but feel compassion for them, as one of the worst places to be in the universe is inside the troubled mind of someone with severe BPD.

(C) Marcia Sirota MD 2010

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Mental Health - Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

The following article will give you a broad overview of Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder has only been adopted as an official diagnosis in 1980 so it is a very recent addition to the personality disorders.

Remember Michael Douglas and Glenn Close in the film Fatal Attraction? She played a woman with many characteristics of the borderline personality. Another example is Winona Ryder as the girl she played in Girl, Interrupted.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

People who suffer from this disorder show impulsivity and instability in relationships, moods and self-image. Emotions can be erratic and shift abruptly, particularly from passionate idealization to contemptuous anger. It is obvious that these people are emotionally unstable in their personality.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Patients of BPD often show up as being argumentative, sarcastic, quick to take offense, irritable, and are generally hard to be around or live with. Their behavior is regularly impulsive and unpredictable. Habits, which may include gambling, spending, unselective sexual activities and eating sprees can potentially be self-damaging.

Individuals are often manipulative, very sensitive to the way they are treated by others, specifically reacting strongly to criticism and being and or feeling hurt. They often show risk of self-harm and have suicidal tendencies.

Where does it come from?

BPD has a lot of connection with the environmental factors and the psychosocial dynamics of the patient's families. Evidence shows that this disorder runs in families, suggesting it may have genetic components and that it is related to traumatic events that happened during childhood.

BPD typically begins in early adulthood and is more common in women than in men.

Treatment options

Medications like antidepressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers are used regularly to treat the co-existing symptoms of depression however the evidence for benefit for BPD is weak.

Therapeutic support in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy and psychodynamic therapy have been studied and used. For a therapist to be working with BPD patients it takes a lot of flexibility and the ego strength to be projected at with negative attributions.

In many cases psychiatric hospitalization is required or at least outpatient services.

Get help

Dealing with BPD yourself or in your family is not something that can be managed on your own.

Remember: If you're concerned that your loved one is dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder seek external support and get them checked out by a medical professional.

Want to know more? Have a look at my blog.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for our newsletter today.

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Early Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder Before it Becomes Full Blown

What would happen if children at risk to develop Borderline Personality Disorder were able to get help in a early stage of its development? Most people do not know the characteristics of BPD and would be hard pressed to identify it in young children. Most people are helped when the mental health problem is full blown. In early adulthood, the symptoms scream for attention and become full blown.

There is the context out of which the BPD develops. Children from abusive families, emotionally, not just physically, are prone to develop the disorder. What is happening at home?

*emotionally cold parenting.

*not able to express feelings

*black and white thinking: this is good; this is bad.

*crying episodes, seemingly without reason.

*daydreaming to excess. Starring

* observer rather than a participant to the extreme.

* sadness.

* facial expression that seems wooden, lack of smiling, even when happy.

*alcoholism in one or both of parents.

*siblings that are distant to each other.

* over achieving together with the other attributes.

* no rewards seem to change their poor self image. The self image is poor

regardless of grades or achievements.

*older parents.

*parents that are overachievers

*reading and rereading questions to make sure they are "correct". Fear of failure.

* emotional numbness. Little emotional expression or self awareness. Face is like a mask.

* excessively "good", well mannered or the opposite.

* Unable to verbalize much about their family. Difficulty talking about their family specifically.

*small outbursts of opinion to galvanize a crowd. Easy prey for religious convention and cultism

People suffering from BPD have trouble moderating their emotions. Emotions come boiling to the surface in extremes. Moderating the emotional reactions seems beyond control. When a child comes from an emotionally abusive family, this child might not be able to express anger at home without fear of punishment. The anger becomes rage and goes underground. After stuffing the feelings so much, the child tries to turn off the feelings entirely so as not to be overwhelmed by these foreign and inconvenient feelings. Eventually, it becomes self numbing. The other side is hysteria or emotional discharge to extremes, such as verbal explosions, or sobbing without seeming reason. The child is probably not aware of the reasons for the repression of ongoing family trauma. To survive in the family, the child represses the memories to make it through.

In one case the child was caught between the parents on most every issue. Would you choose mother's side or father's side? Instead they were ground up in the middle of endless battles between parents. There is no way to find an answer that does not upset one or the other parent? The personal interactions with primary caretakers becomes intensely painful. Later it is harder to choose side in an argument and to defend it without a feeling you will be annihilated or demolished. One teacher observed the child seemed to not like small talk. The child does not know what he/she thinks so small talk is painful. The child ego or center is trying to survive the daily barrage of attacks of parents and possibly siblings. If other children observe the parent's attacks, what is to prevents the siblings from being aggressive or hurtful. In there families, none of the children are getting their needs met. Among siblings, it is natural to have rivalries and competition that reflect underlying deprivation that all the children are feeling. The children can feel jealousy toward the youngest, for example, but be unaware of why they are jealous. This type of dysfunctional family is very difficult to repair. Family group psychiatric intervention is possible if the members are willing to work to improve their family. It is difficult to enrich these families where the parents are so invested in the dysfunction.

To try to give emotional support to the children is desirable to modify the damage of the family setting. There has to a place to go such as camp, Boys and Girls Club, or YWCA or other activities. The more the child spend time outside of the family, the more experiences they will have to compare to the original family situation. The experiences with normalcy whether dinners at friends homes, sleep overs, and other activities, the greater the chance that the child will be able to refer back to these places for reference rather than the traumatic events of the home. BPD is a distorted reaction to living. Therefore, to readjust the child needs to experience normalcy whether in the classroom, the school, the church, or whatever.

BPD persons frequently spend time alone. If the verbal interactions at home stimulate pain, why seek further conversations. Being quiet is a safe place. Eventually, the position of being stuck between to parents is a no win place to be. Anxiety arises as the child anticipates future interactions. The child may develop a desire to please others. Trying to duck and stay out of the range of fire whether it be debates or conversations where you put your views on the line. The BPD child will learn to hide their feelings. Being so afraid of attack on their very identity, why not invent some personalities or personna that are safe from attack. One personna might be the "good girl" or the funny kid or the empathetic observer. Within these destructive homes, a BPD can read the atmosphere of their parents even before words are spoken. The antenna are out all the time. The only problem arises is that in the outside world not every one acts like your parents. It is difficult to differentiate from an attack and a benign approach. These children need friends who have healthy households that they visit and get some healthy parenting. These friends homes are life saving.

The context of the family might show up in parent conferences and are one of the best indicators of potential BPD development. It occurs in some of the "nicest" families. The rigidity of their views might show something of the underlying events.

If the parents seem to need the child to be a trophy for their egos, that could be an indicator. These parents treat their children as objects to satisfy their own ego needs, so the achievement of the kids are bragged about by these parents. They are unable to see their children as rounded or with strengths and shortcomings. The kids are charicatures, or projections, not real.

The parents may come to parents' night but not the sports or drama production. When the father appears at the father-daughter dance, he spends time offering the math teacher a job with his company where he does the hiring. This is a specific example but gives the situation very clearly. Most abuse is about power. This example illustrates how it works in this a family context where BPD developed.

Class activities that practice "gray" thinking, away from black and white differentiation is very helpful. Class activities that practice identifying emotions, such as writing about an historical event as if present would help identify emotions. Exercises that help develop values, self-esteem and self awareness help the child to come out in a safe environment. School debates are excellent ways for children to defend and identify a point of view. Class work that promotes teamwork is helpful, as well. Art, music, gym, and other extracurricular activities allow children to define themselves.

We all want our children to live to their potential but why not create schools where healthy egos can develop and mental illness is identified and repaired.

We want our children to learn the 3 rs but why offer schools where our children learn emotional health.

Janet Kirkpatrick
Janet_Kirkpatrick@msn.com

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Rage and Entitlement in Borderline Personality Disorder

During a recent consultation, Jay, a young mental health worker at an in-patient facility, asked for advice on how to cope with a borderline personality disorder patient who was struggling with issues of rage and a sense of entitlement. He submitted a long written description, reporting that his work with this patient was "becoming a nightmare." Among other problematic behaviors, Jay reported that his patient cuts herself, threatens suicide, hits her peers, urinates on the floor and screams at top of her lungs when she does not get her way.

She clearly has a strong sense of entitlement, which is characteristic of borderline personality disorder. Jay illustrated this problem with another example: one evening she ordered cereal for her breakfast the following day, then woke up and demanded oatmeal and bananas instead. When no one complied, she overturned a few chairs, threw her tray at the kitchen staff, and then threatened to kill herself and burn the place down. The temper tantrum lasted three hours. As she was completely unreachable, she was eventually placed in restraints and medicated.

Jay complains that "empathy does not work, group therapy, one on one, drawing, meditating, bribery" -- nothing works. He also describes her extreme swings in emotion, especially in her relationship to Jay. "She hates me one day and cannot live without me the next." She has no boundaries and does not respect Jay's. His fellow staff members "are all sick of her." As he is the most junior member on the ward, he is unfortunately "stuck" with her." He feels so angry and demoralized by his work with this patient that is considering a change of career.

Jay's description dramatically illustrates the emotional challenge of working with someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder. His reactions are not unusual; I have felt very similar ways during sessions with my own clients. His account also reminds me of other such stories I've heard, about the way borderline personality disorder patients affect their ward staff. They are highly provocative and evocative; they inspire feelings of hostility and resentment. They make you want to quit the profession.

In order to help someone like this young woman, you first have to get clear on the difference between empathy and sympathy. Jay states that "empathy does not work," but I doubt he or anyone else on the staff is truly empathizing with her... at least they're not aware that they are. She fills them (via projection) with all her own unbearable emotions of rage and anger; the way she treats her caretakers evokes the same feelings within them that she is struggling with. Jay says her behaviors make his "blood boil" -- that's where the empathy comes in. The problem is that, for the most part, we mental health professionals believe it's inappropriate to have such feelings, and when we're forced to admit that we do have them, we want to blame the patient.

What I recommend instead is to use those feelings to connect with her. I suggested to Jay that he say something to his patient like this: "When you can't force me do what you want, it makes you so furious you hate my guts and want to kill me." It's clear from Jay's description that she's struggling with murderous rage and it's important to name it for her, to articulate the emotions and impulses she's feeling. It's easy to assume that she knows what she's feeling; the truth is, her mind is continually blown apart by the violence of her feelings; she doesn't really know what they are in any way you or I would recognize. It's the job of the therapist to help her bear with those feelings and learn to understand them -- very difficult work.

This young woman also finds any kind of frustration unbearable; she's goes into a rage whenever she feels it. In part, this reflects the sense of entitlement you so often find with borderlines; it also betrays the limits of her capacity to bear any kind of pain. She demands to be treated as if she were an infant, really -- ministered to by a perfect mother who would tend to her every need and never let frustration become an issue. It would be important to address this with the patient: "I think you find any kind of frustration unbearably painful; when you feel it, you just want to kill somebody." With my own clients, I've also said things like: "You expect me to understand and gratify your every need without you having to say a single word."

Neither can she bear the experience of separateness; those boundary-crossing behaviors that understandably annoy Jay represent her attempt to take possession of him, to own him, and to deny the separation between them. When the experience of need, separateness and frustration is unbearable, fantasies of merger often come to the rescue. If she "owns" Jay by merging with him, then on some level, she believes she won't have to feel frustration, or become enraged when he doesn't instantly do what she wants him to do. When she feels "at one" with Jay, she "loves" him (it's not really love, of course); when she experiences him as separate and frustrating, she wants to kill him. To me, these are familiar borderline dynamics.

I feel for Jay. His description is overflowing with all the unbearable emotion she inspires in him. Using those feelings as a guide to the patient's emotional experience (countertransference in the broad sense) is the only way to make the work bearable for the therapist, and the only way you can truly help someone this troubled. In my experience, it also helps you feel more compassionate toward their suffering. It is painful and often terrifying to feel murderous rage. If Jay, with his healthier mind and greater mental capacities, finds it so difficult, imagine how hard it must be for his patient to bear with her experience. By using your reactions as a guide to understanding your client (instead of feeling quietly guilty because you hate her), you'll truly empathize with her experience, and probably feel a lot more sympathy as well.

Joseph Burgo PhD is a clinical psychologist who writes extensively about shame, narcissistic rage, bipolar disorder symptoms and working with borderline personality disorder. He also offers online counseling via Skype.

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What People Need to Know About Borderline Personality Disorder

Do you think you might have borderline personality disorder or BPD? Well, you might have personality traits commonly exhibited by people with the disorder, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have it. BPD, just like other personality disorders, involves a consistent pattern of thought and interaction between the person with the disorder and with his environment. This pattern usually causes several problems and can impair the sufferer's ability take of himself or cope with life. The pattern for borderline personality disorder is usually characterized by unstable views about one's self, behaviour, feelings and ability to interact with others, all of which can interfere with the person's ability to function normally.

In the past, BPD has been regarded as a set of signs and symptoms that include both psychosis (reality distortion) and neuroses (mood problems). People saw it as a condition that sits borderline between schizophrenia and mood problems. However, it has now been established that the condition is more similar to personality disorders, especially with the way it develops and occurs within families.

The actual causes of borderline personality disorder are still unknown, but there are family, genetic and social factors that are associated with its incidence. The risk factors for the disorder are: 1. disrupted family life, 2. poor family communication, 3. abandonment during childhood and/or adolescence, and 4. sexual abuse. It occurs both in men and women, but mostly in women who are also receiving mental-health treatment. It affects about 6% of adults, and that is why it helps to know about the condition.

Borderline personality disorder has different symptoms. Most people with the disorder are unsure about themselves and their identity, thus their values and interests often rapidly change. They also frequently experience frequent changes in feelings or mood, and these often lead to unstable and intense relationships. They also tend to view things in extremes, as if the world is in black and white. For example, if one thing isn't all good, then it must be all bad. Other symptoms include an irrational fear of abandonment and unwillingness to be alone. They often feel empty or bored when they are alone and are impulsive with their money and sexual relationships. This impulsiveness can even lead to substance abuse, binge eating and shoplifting. They may also have frequent bouts of inappropriate anger and episodes of self-injury. If you exhibit some of these symptoms, you should consider a check up, especially if the symptoms are starting to or are already interfering with your daily life.

Like all the other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is diagnosed based on a psychological examination. The history and severity of the symptoms are also being evaluated. The good news is that BPD can be managed and treated. Many form of talk therapy are successful. These include dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and group therapy. Medications can also help with the person's mood swing and to treat other conditions that can occur with BPD. Generally, the outlook will depend on the severity of the symptoms and on the person's willingness to accept help.

For more information on Different Types of Diseases, Symptoms and Diagnoses, Please visit: Borderline Personality Disorder and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Symptoms.

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Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy - DBT - To Treat Borderline Personality Disorder - BPD

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by impulsive actions, unstable moods, and problems having relationships with others. Many people suffering with it also have paranoid thoughts or complain of feeling "numb" or "spacey". Along with often suffering from severe mood swings, they are often uncertain about their identity and self-image. Sufferers of BPD find that it affects many areas of their lives including work, school, relationships and physical health. Sufferers often say they feel empty so some will cut or burn themselves "to feel something".

Dialectical behavior therapy is used by treatment with personality disorders. It was developed by Marsha Linehan, PhD. It is a type of psychotherapy that uses cognitive behavioral techniques with mindful awareness. Cognitive therapy focuses on thoughts and beliefs along with actions. It is the first therapy that has shown to be effective to treat Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dr. Lineman's theory is that the core issue in BPD is a combination of emotionally unstable environment as a child and emotional dis regulation. The goal of Dialectical Behavior Therapy is helping the patient to learn techniques that decrease emotional swings and unhealthy ways of coping with them when they do occur.

Using dialectical behavior therapy to treat patients with BPD involves helping the patient to develop skills for regulating emotions and also reducing the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. There are several components of the treatment. Supervision by therapists to provide support to the patient, individual therapy to help the patient realize the reasons for treatment, training to increase their capabilities, and to learn new skills in ways of coping with their feelings and emotions. Patients learn to assert their needs, manage relationships, how to handle upsetting factors that occur, and in general learning overall to observe and participate in life without labeling things "good" or "bad".

Even though it is now thought that Borderline Personality Disorder is contributed to by genetic factors and actual differences in the brain structure and functioning of the brain in some people Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the first cognitive therapy that has shown real improvement in people with Borderline Personality Disorders.

To learn more about treating borderline personality disorder (BPD), head on over to The Retreat at Sheppard Pratt, a world-renowned psychiatric hospital and online mental health resource. There you will find a wealth of information about all different disorders and treatments, including dialectical behavior therapy DBT.

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How to Cope When Your Loved One Suffers From BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Those who suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) profoundly affect their loved ones. One minute everything is fine and the next you feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time, never knowing how your loved one will react to a situation or to you; will it be with love... or anger? You feel helpless and unable to cope. You are not alone. It is thought that more than six million people in the U.S. have a Borderline Personality Disorder, and that these people greatly affect the lives of at least 30 million others.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? BPD is a serious and often life-threatening disorder that is characterized by severe emotional pain and difficulties managing emotions. The problems associated with BPD include impulsivity (including an impulse to suicide and self-harm), severe negative emotion such as anger and/or shame, chaotic relationships, an extreme fear of abandonment, and accompanying difficulties maintaining a stable and accepting sense of self.

How to cope when your loved one suffers from BPD The best way to cope is to try to understand what BPD is and how it affects the sufferer. It is always easy to be scared of the unknown, so learn as much as you can about BPD, its symptoms and what a sufferer of BPD goes through. Most importantly, understand that when they lash out at you it's not personal.

Of course, even when you think you understand BPD, you will still have to learn how to cope with your own feelings of betrayal, hurt and guilt created by your loved one's attitude towards you and that some people will believe their hurtful comments about you. Sadly, those suffering from BPD have short memories as far as "good things" happening to them, but they always remember the bad stuff and your perceived involvement in that. It is hard to deal with the feeling that you are only as good as the last thing you did for them.

Help them to get treatment If you have enough influence and control in the sufferer's life, then you need to help them to make the decision to seek treatment. It is imperative that they take responsibility for their BPD and be made to understand that there is qualified help out there, that things can be better, that they CAN get control of their life. This is very hard to do and therefore the most difficult element to cope with, because the very nature of the disorder holds the sufferer back from seeking help. It engenders negative feelings in the sufferer towards themselves and those trying to help them, creates low self-esteem meaning the sufferer doesn't feel 'worthy' of help, and gives them a black and white view of the world, meaning that they might dismiss the doctor as 'no good' at a second appointment having been very happy with them at the first.

What if I can't convince them to get treatment? There are many support groups out there, not just for BPD sufferers but also for those who live with, or who are close to, a BPD sufferer. Sometimes just sharing the burden helps. Communication is key in any situation but it is particularly important here. Communication with the BPD sufferer and with those around you to make them understand what you are going through; all this is paramount to help you cope with the stress of loving someone suffering from BPD.

Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com

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Three Steps for Managing Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you searching for ways for Managing Borderline Personality Disorder?

This mental disorder can be indeed quite disturbing to the sufferer and the close ones as well. So what can you do to keep it under control and start your recovery process from BPD?

The first step is to actually admit that you are suffering from this mental disorder if you haven't done this yet, even if this is difficult for you right now. Generally we humans tend to reject the idea that there is a problem with us even when this is obvious. As counterintuitive as this may seem, accepting the idea of having difficulties actually has a relieving effect on the mind.

Why?

Because instead of concentrating on behaviors and strategies to mask the symptoms, you can channel your focus and energy on actually getting better. Not mentioning the anxiety to always be on alert to cover the symptoms.

The second step toward managing borderline personality disorder and your recovery is to understand that BPD is a mental disorder, not a mental illness.

What is the difference between the two?

A mental disorder is actually represented by attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs that we have learned in our past, and which are unhelpful and disadaptive to us. A mental illness on the other hand refers to physical and/or physiological disturbances inside the brain. So the good part in all of this is that BPD being a mental disorder means that you can actually do something for your recovery. In fact you can have total control over your mind, you just need to learn how to do that.

The third step toward managing borderline personality disorder is to change the unhelpful and disadaptive thoughts and perceptions with new healthy and helpful ones. This step can be achieved through the exact same principle through which you have acquired the unhelpful and disadaptive thoughts you have today. And that principle is called learning.

Virtually anyone with intact learning and habit creation abilities can achieve the goal of getting over BPD and living a happy and fulfilling life once again. So kick-start your healing process with the facts and strategies you find in my free eBook "Surviving The Borderline Hellhole"!

And if you want to find out more about BPD, click here: Managing Borderline Personality Disorder!

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A Review of Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

Treatment of any kind of psychological disorder is a hard issue. It comprises many things and it should be done by highly professional people. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is acute mental suffering, which includes a lot of severe psychotic attacks. Also known as bipolar- disorder, BPD mostly consists of deficieny in cognitive sphere and of emotional overreacting.

BPD harms the emotional sphere of human psyche, making it vulnerable and prone to unstableness. Terms such as emotional imbalance or inappropriateness are often used to illustrate the outcome of bipolar disorder. Patients suffering from emotional incompetence, are often prone to controversial emotional responses: their behavior varies depending on the specific mood and emotion, which has captured them. Bipolar disorder patients have problems in controlling their emotions: one day they can act as extremely aggressive, the other can be subdued and meek.

Lack of emotional control is caused by cognitive incompetence: bipolar disorder affects the cognitive sphere, so that patients cannot control their behavior, and have vague ideas about what is proper or not. They more often depend on their mood swings and feelings to tell them how to act. This can be very dangerous, especially with integrating these people in society. This disease has several nuances, there are similarities with manic-depression disorder, but any professional can distinguish between the both.

There are two ways to treat borderline disorder: and the first one is psychotherapy. The therapy should be done by a professional, who acts as a consciousness of the patient. Another way to cure this disorder, is by using drugs. But sole medication cannot make amends in the whole cognitive sphere, so drugs are more often combined with therapy to acquire greater results. People suffering from BPD are often prescribed a great quantity of drugs, which can be really depressing.

A therapist would be helpful in these situations: someone to console the patient and assure him or her of the positive outcome of the process. The medication treatment requires taking anti-psychotics, neuroleptics, and/or anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines. There are a lot of drugs which can be easily found and proved working.

Therapy process must be done so that a patient is obstructed from doing harmful things. A suicidal BPD requires urgent therapy from a highly competent professional. An external aggressive patient needs help from a strict therapist, one who is not lenient with all the patient's anti-social activities.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are really very tough, and a competent help is required at any level. Patients should regularly take their pills, and should participate in the most suitable form of therapy. The cognitive sphere is what is mainly affected with these people, so that they should be looked upon very strictly in order to prevent negative reactions. The BPD patients are often unpredictable: one cannot tell what their reaction will be. To avoid anyone being hurt, they should be carefully scrutinised.

Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning health. Learn more at Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment [http://www.healthandmedicineinfo.com/health--medicine-information/health--medicine/a-review-of-borderline-personality-disorder-treatment.html]

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Divorcing Someone Who Suffers Borderline Personality Disorder

Some of the most emotionally abusive relationships and traumatic divorces involve the mentally ill. One of the most difficult of these mental illnesses is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because it is not easily diagnosed. Behaviors can range from extreme violence to subtle patterns of emotional blackmail and projection. On top of that, many Borderlines tend to live in denial, constantly avoiding their own feelings of emptiness, insecurity, anger, disappointment and fear that more often than not stems from an abusive childhood. It is hard to treat and help someone if they don't want to face their own abuse - abuse that they themselves suffered or the abuse that they themselves do.

Classifying Borderlines as "Acting In" or "Acting Out"

Not all borderlines are focused on harming others. Some are so busy with their own inner demons that they are trapped in a realm of substance abuse, suicide attempts, and self-hate that for most can be traced back to child abuse or neglect. They are often known as the "acting in" type. If this is the kind of Borderline in your life, count yourself lucky. That's because they are both more likely to recognize their own problems and work on them and less likely to focus on destroying other people in a desperate attempt to portray themselves as worthy people who are victims in need of assistance.

The other group of Borderlines, sometimes called the "acting out" group, are narcissistic sociopaths with little sense of guilt or remorse. They often have little limit to what they will do to make themselves "win" and you "lose" and don't care who else they hurt in the process. If you have been in a relationship with a person suffering Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), be aware that much of what is written about "acting out" Borderlines applies equally to Narcissists.

Blaming and Projection

A relationship with someone who suffers from BPD can leave the one being abused feeling confused and hopeless as they are often blamed for all the problems in the relationships, even including things they didn't do. Often, such blaming for fictional behaviors is a form of projection used to distract from the Borderline doing the exact thing she or he is accusing the partner of doing. For instance, your Borderline significant other may be having affairs, but you can be sure you will be accused of having affairs (even if you have never had one) long before he or she will admit to one. You may find that many of your friends and family will have heard about your fictional affairs long before you even realize your significant other has been lying about you far and wide. When you try to explain what is really happening, many will refuse to believe the truth because they have heard so many lies about you they cannot imagine they are all false.

The Borderline's excessive tendency to project or transfer their own negative feelings, behaviors, or perceived negative traits onto others usually arises from their own feelings of self-hatred and self-criticism. In order to deny and escape the truth about their own private hell (usually rooted in an abusive childhood), they instead project their own feelings of self-hatred and inadequacy outside themselves onto others. This is why Borderlines will constantly criticize you, accuse you of saying or doing something you haven't done or said, and blame you for their problems and unhappiness.

Borderline projections can be very destructive and because most borderlines do not have healthy boundaries, situations can escalate and cause more unnecessary hurt and damage all the way to very serious false criminal allegations that can cost innocent people their jobs, children, and even their lives.

Divorce Can Intensify the Emotional Abuse

When you divorce someone who suffers from BPD, the emotional abuse does not necessarily end there. It can result in a high-conflict divorce costing you more than you bargained for, not just in terms of wasted money and time, but in very deep psychological wounds. The borderline ex is prone to litigate over everything and to refuse to cooperate with court orders, reasonable requests, and common sense. She or he will likely make even straightforward property settlement issues costly, dragging out the legal process by refusing or avoiding to comply with court decrees to return property, split retirement accounts, repay money owed, and more. He or she may manipulate others by crying poor, telling others that you have lots of money stashed away and have always been mean with money, when in reality they themselves have a much higher income and have more savings than you. Again, this kind of behavior is projection and also a way to humiliate and dominate you.

Another way Borderlines can mess with your mind and emotions is to try and suck you back into the marriage if it is the early stages of your divorce or separation. Be sure to set your limits and be prepared to stand your ground and stick to your boundaries. Borderline behavior will swing unpredictably, one week they may call and want to talk for hours, the next week they may block off any and all communication from you.

No doubt this will be very frustrating so it will be important that you have good legal representation - preferably an attorney who is familiar and understands what drives high-conflict divorces - and a supportive network of family and friends that you can trust. Most importantly, do your best to disengage from the situation. If you have tried every avenue to reasonably communicate with your Borderline and they continue to be unresponsive, do not persist by sending more communication thinking that they might not have received the others you sent. Otherwise the Borderline may distort the truth and accuse you of stalking and harassment.

To understand and find out more about emotionally abusive relationships and how to identify borderline traits, go to angiemedia.com.

Rob Washington is a frequent contributor to angiemedia.com's coverage on families, divorce, mental health, government, and social issues.

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Borderline Personality Disorder - An Alternative View

Borderline Personality Disorder sounds pretty final and grim. But that is if you view it from a psychology angle.

From a holistic energy healing angle, it all sounds much different. As an alternative holistic energy healer and EFT practitioner, I see this as merely an energy imbalance made up of rejection.

The rejection may be due to a bad childhood due to bad parenting or problems at school (sometimes also problems from sessions with psychologists). This changes the person's energy to attract rejection and so is often followed by a series of rejection events in adulthood. As an adult, this may manifest as self-destructive behavior (including co-dependency), addictions, or depression.

Depression and self-hatred because of a harrowing childhood with unfit or abusive parents is definitely treatable with EFT. Inner child work like Matrix Reimprinting, Parts work, and allowing time for healing all help. It took a whole childhood for this energy imbalance to be so debilitating. It makes perfect sense that a few months or years may be needed to put it right - maybe for the first time ever. I use Chasing the Pain, the Box Technique, and other refinements to make this as gentle a process as possible. A fine balance has to be made between the desired speed of progress and the need for gentleness and delicacy when handling such highly-charged material.

I have often mixed the above work with Reiki or a gentle hypnotic relaxation for maximizing gentleness.

For self-hatred, I use a visual diagram, where we draw the person and I say "OK, which parts of you do you hate the most?" and also ask for which parts they hate the least. Then we tap about the different parts of the diagram. By the end of the session, we could have raised self-love or self-worth by as much as 1%; this is great progress to start with. Eventually, the percentages grow faster. I also use my own technique, Mountains of Self-Worth. This is another visual diagram that we draw; this time we draw it to see how we compare ourselves with others. Then we tap, using normal EFT statements along with reframes to improve how we compare ourselves to others.

Lack of confidence and self-depreciation connected to a neurodiversity is even more easily treatable with EFT, as long as the person can be happy to connect with that sensitive person within. The person with ADHD, autism, or other neurodiverse condition does not even have to have a label to it. After all, it is just a sensitivity overall, including a sensitive nervous system. The owner of such a nervous system would have many incidents in childhood and adulthood where they were misunderstood, rejected by their peers, or did not fit in. Each incident is easily tappable with EFT. When enough incidents have been tapped, the effect will generalize over all of them, and the person's energy will change. Reframes help tremendously here, such as "I thought I was stupid/unsociable/unwanted, but the teacher/other kids just didn't speak my language, and nobody taught me how to speak theirs."

And addictive behavior is best treated by going through events involving this behavior. The first step is to recognize that the behavior is part of an addiction. The sooner the emotional blocks in the path to admitting that a problem exists, the sooner the person can start working on this behavior and find freedom from its confines.

The energy of rejection is only energy. We can release it. And although it can manifest in a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis, it still is only an energy disruption. Tapping balances the body's energy system, and with regular application of gentle EFT, we can move towards happiness, self-worth, and most of all peace.

c Suzanne Zacharia 2010. My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the more and better options one has, the more choice there is.

A virus caught along with 5 other students at university at the end of 1986, plus medical negligence, meant that I got smokers lung at a relatively young age. In desperation for help with my symptoms and quality of life, I turned to complementary therapy, and I have outlived one doctor's prognosis by many years already.

I am now a complementary therapist, author and trainer specializing in energy healing. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE "EFT How-to for You" and regular free EFT Tapping script samples in my newsletter at http://www.EFT-Scripts.com - New to EFT? No worries, just get your own copy of "EFT How-to for You" and start EFTing with ease very soon!

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How to Survive a Divorce From Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

Tip #1. Run! Don't be wishy washy a borderlines biggest fear is abandonment. If you decide to divorce them, do it hard and fast and never second guess the separation, never show weakness to them or that you may take them back. Get in the wind, and get away from their abuse.

Tip #2 if they are being nice, watch out. A Borderline is always nice when they are preparing to strike. Be careful if they are nice they are in a position of weakness and you are winning, stay focused on your divorce don't fall for their tricks.

Tip #3. Don't be alone with them, BPD's are well know for pressing false charges of sexual abuse. Never put yourself in a situation to be arrested for rape. Always assume the worst, sadly with a borderline personality the worst usually happens.

Tip #4. Be prepared to have your children brainwashed. Stay clam when your children tell you all the horrible things your borderline ex says about you. Just change the subject and don't say anything bad about your ex to your kids.

Tip #5. Use your attorney as much as you can afford. BPD's are pathological liars the more you can use your attorney to add a buffer, the better. They will get caught in their lies. Try to communicate via email rather than phone calls, this keeps things calm and forces them to put their lies in writing you can keep for proof.

Tip #6. Rules, rules, rules. Rules and structure is like kryptonite to a BPD. Be anal with the rules and don't bend to accommodate the BPD. If you have kids they will always have an excuse as to why they can't watch the child. Always take your child when they flake, keep a calendar, be nice and say "no problem". Never give them your parenting time in exchange. Show your child that the BPD is unreliable by their own actions. Be a rock for your child, remember they are forced to have the BPD in their life so be emphatic. They have it much worse than you do.

Tip #7. Don't be overrun. Probably just like when you were married the BPD will always have several 5 alarm fire going and they will try and bring you into the flames. Don't do it! I have found that the best method is to use email, many days, I will just let the inbox fill up for a few days then when I'm calm I read and respond with short answers like "no" when I have time. My BPD can send 20 emails in one day, if I played into her craziness I would go crazy myself.

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How To Help Someone With Depression, Suicidal Tendencies or Borderline Personality Disorder

Mental illness is a terrible malady. Many of us don't understand this disease and don't know how to handle it. We are frightened by it, somehow believing it may be contagious. Mental health hospitals and professionals also have a formidable challenge and there aren't any certain remedies. As a result many people with this illness die every year, from being misunderstood.

Borderline personality disorder is one of the worst forms of mental illness. People with this disorder attempt suicide often. It is a disease which normally occurs from being abused as a child. It is so dreadful that many family members abandon their loved ones who have [BPD], because it is extremely stressful on them. Although it is challenging, people can help victims of [BPD] if they understand this disease better.

There are many websites offering helpful information about this serious subject. Some suggest medications, where other websites state that the only real remedy is cognitive behavioral therapy (counseling). Love and family support is likely to be the best medicine. Below are some helpful tips about caring for a person with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Validation - Very important! Ask them questions about their problems and the very real pain they suffer.
Listen - When they need to talk, sit still and really be present for them.
Empathize - Express understanding and apply effort to helping them get relief from their misery.
Love - Tell them how much you love them and Jesus truly loves them, too!
Reassurance - Tell them you won't ever leave them or, "I'll always be here for you," and mean it.
Guilt - Tell them it isn't their fault and don't blame them for their illness.
Comfort - Continue to tell them everything will get better. Say it over and over!
Suicidal - Don't ever leave a person alone who is suicidal! Treat them as a baby and get a baby sitter if you have to go elsewhere. This is crucial!
Promises - Depressed people are hypersensitive and anxious. They can't stand having to wait or being lied to. Keep your word and always be truthful with them!
Friends - Contact their friends and alert them to the problem to design a circle of love.

While I hope this information is helpful, I realize the heavy burden you may be suffering and the many challenges you face. There are no easy answers - but nothing can take the place of love and understanding.

Dale Adams of Adams LLC is the author and self publisher of the new book, "Care Giving Made Easy - How to be an Awesome Caregiver" and the inventor of the Inspirational Walker Bag a walker bag with inspirational quotes for seniors and the, "Money Saving Calendar," a new information vehicle that informs consumers how to save and make money every month of the year. His many experiences include being a Security Consultant, General Contractor and Energy Conservation Specialist. To learn more valuable money saving information visit: [ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1552819435 ]

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Borderline Personality Disorder - A Day in a Life of Treading Water

Introduction

My case-study client is a 23-year old Canadian Caucasian woman who has been diagnosed as suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, and is under the care of a psychiatrist for medication (Effexor and Loxapine) and talking therapy. Before this she was diagnosed with depression since 8 years of age, and suspects sexual abuse when 2-3 years old.

When asking her to examine her problems of pain and suffering, she decided to tell her story in the form of recounting a day in her life. I then asked her two specific questions directly: Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People? And Where is God when You need Him?.

A Day in My Life

Over the last 10 days, I have been feeling suicidal ideation and extreme depression. I have cut. I wake up from nightmares with imagery around animals e.g. bugs; snakes and rats infested my space. Snakes chase me in a garden and rats in my room but none on me. There is environmental hostility - I dream of the wrong road to my Grandmother's cottage and me climbing a cliff over gravel. So I wake up having worked very hard. When awake, I have anxiety about the day. This may be carried forward from my nightmare - I feel unsafe. I then have immediate thoughts that my boss may be angry or that it is slippery outside.

Last night I was crying as I feel asleep. I felt lonely, empty, a lack of light in my being, especially when with my partner or family or people I love, because the feeling for them has gone. I can still sense their love for me but I feel guilty because I can't reciprocate. All the love I have for people has shut down. When it is a good day i.e. a feeling day, I feel loving towards them. I feel awake. My thoughts carry forward to my dreams and to the next day. "It is kind of like hell; feels like worst thing ever". Worse than missing someone when they die - then I felt grieving but my heart felt full with love although sad. Missing my Grandfather in death was less painful than being depressed around him when he was alive. I was not depressed when he died.

Usually I spend 1 hour lying in bed thinking of the pros and cons of getting out of bed: Will I be disappointing people? How can I be distracted? Do I have sugary cereal? I want to self-sooth or distract. Today - why was I out of bed immediately? Because I found an ice-cream bar to jolt or distract me - the adrenalin release made me so jittery but I had the energy to get dressed. I had a smoke and a coffee. It is tough - only hit 9:30 am by now - so much of the day to go. Then go to work or appointment. On the subway I listen to upbeat music - like funk or pop. This helps to distract me. When very depressed it takes me to neutrality - if it works. If the first song doesn't work, I spend time skipping songs until I find one that does. Then I listen to the same song 3-4 times in a row. The first 2 hours of the day when I interact with co-workers or customers is the best because the focus has shifted onto communicating.

When I wake I am sad if I spent 2 hours with my partner. I try to get away by sleeping in or staying in the bathroom a long time. Generally if I am alone and I wake with lots of energy from coffee or something sweet, I try to pretend I'm in a movie and I imagine my life as a movie with different scenarios or a person e.g. from the movie "Working Girl", watching someone getting dressed to music. It helps in transit while listening to music: "Makes me feel free of limitations I woke up with, because I can create other limitations for that character that I'm not afraid of". Lowers my fear. Has worked for a long time.

Around 3 pm I feel a slump where I feel depressed. Haven't eaten for a few hours. Think about food. Have a lot of judgment of myself around food because what I can afford is not always healthy. So judgmental about my body - I'm not feminine enough, delicate enough, and thin enough. Pressure came from parents and grandparents e.g. Mom happy when I wear feminine or delicate and she gladly tells her friends - causes me pressure. Pressure from one of my Mom's friends. In high school she stayed with us and so judgmental about my dress, my makeup, girls I like, and that my Mom is overweight. She was obsessive and totally phony.

So it depends on whom I've seen or talked when I get hungry. Mom is on a diet and lost a lot - I must do the same because I'm overweight. I argue with myself for 45 minutes about what I will eat - having energy and feeling full vs. feeling I won't gain weight. Sometimes I eat or I don't eat and have diet coke and smokes. After I eat I feel guilty and anxious for having eaten so I phone people to say "HI" and plan for after work to include drinking and to get drunk later. It helps.

From 4-7 pm is pretty difficult so I want to go to sleep but if I have plans then I meet friends and I drink with them as soon as possible. If I feel good after that, I stay out and continue to drink. "Having two beers is like a litmus test". If not better after two beers, then I go home to sleep because at the bar I am around someone I love and feel so bad. I want to cry; often I do cry in front of them or on the subway. There is pain in my solar plexus and sternum from 4-7 pm, but I cannot cry at work. I make plans to get rid of the pain. I go to bed as soon as possible, and sometimes I'll call Mum if I can't sleep, and then I sleep. Mum helps because she gives me hope for the next day. Maybe she will take care of me and I won't feel so bad. "It's a gamble". If I'm generally depressed it doesn't work, but nice to look forward to. Often I cancel plans I've made the day before. Weekends it's different not necessarily better.

My psychiatrist gave me homework piece reflections. I feel that when people express feelings or enthusiasm, it is received by me as pressure - I feel hopeless and depressed and angry e.g. my boyfriend pushing me to play at a bar. I express my anger in cutting myself if for an irrational reason. I know he is supportive. I express my anger in normal ways if deemed by me to be rational. My Dr. said it is not written anywhere that anger has to be for rational reasons. I got excited. My new homework is to express my anger not to cut. I also don't express anger because of how others treat my Grandmother. When they express anger to her then she cries - then the focus from them is to make sure she's OK. I don't want to make people cry so I don't express my anger. I warned my boyfriend that I will be expressing my anger. It makes me angry if he talks about a comedian but doesn't share it. Dr says to use family therapy to practice expressing my anger.

Feeling in last 10 minutes I want to stop because it gets sad after a while - sad to think that this happens 5-7 days a week for the last 3 months. It feels strange to break down my rituals].

I suspended the interview until the next day as a compassionate response to my client.

I asked to stop the interview because I got sad after an hour of thinking about "a day in my life" for months over the last 10 years. I feel too tired to engage in skillful behaviour - I'm paralysed. I slept after we talked. I swing between rational and emotional and not wise mind (from my DBT training). My Dr. asked: 'Can I accept that I bounce back and forth, and that middle ground exists'. For me there is so much swallowing of anger that I end up on rational side, and I go to intellectualizing. I got caught up in the emotion after our first interview. I was totally overwhelmed and scared that I'll never get out of it. Seeing a picture of a 17 lb rabbit in a magazine I bought in a store helped me realize that the world is full of random stuff that makes me laugh. If I just hold on and just remember to be strong.

From our first talk, I mentioned the techniques I use - music and a movie game. There are other processes I go through. It is hard because nobody knows I do it. They can't see it - it is invisible to others. I am tired all the time when in crisis - I can do little. I have 300% more energy when not in crisis. Therapy is better for me at the beginning of the day because I am spent by 3 pm. I also get muscular pain from my mood, in my back, neck and shoulder.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Same reason bad things happen to bad people. A part of the planet Earth is that there's good and bad. With challenges we learn to grow in exceptional ways, and we share with people to help our planet. Sometimes I think that I'm doing this with crisis. Yet it doesn't feel worth it. Pain and loneliness would be OK if it is because I'm doing it for our planet for a reason. Depression is a narcissistic disease. I focus on myself. It takes precedence over everything. It would be OK if I felt that I was doing someone else some good. I can't see it. If I could alleviate others suffering or they feel less alone. I haven't yet fully explored ways of doing this. You need to function at a certain level to help others but in crisis I am not at that level.

So far in getting treatment and receiving help, I think I am and I feel very lucky. I have been blest with people who have open minds. Yet I still cut and feel worthless and have self-destructive behaviour and thoughts. I feel really grateful for resources but feel bad because with all the resources "I still feel s--t", so what about the rest of my life. I see God in help I get. He doesn't give us a challenge we can't handle.

Where is God when I need him most?

When rational I think that I feel disconnected from source energy or God. It is like my umbilical cord to Him is clamped. We are God. The cord is connected to others and everything else. In crisis, I'm here and everyone else is here, but my mind is noisy so I can't hear God. "My mind is screaming and God is whispering". In emotional crisis there is no cord. No God in my life. I feel that my work is done and it's time to go.

Ultimately death is up to God but if he wanted me to be here it would go easier. By world standards life is great. In my heart I feel disconnected, so it is a huge struggle to stay here. When I have no energy, God must think it's finished so it's my time to go. Yet if it was finished, He would take me in my sleep. I struggle between these two views. I care about God. He means all the things that can't be explained - and that excites me. It suggests that there is a purpose to my condition, but "why do I have it if I can't do God's work?"

Commentary

Kushner (1981) concludes that we live in an imperfect world and that even God may be imperfect, especially in His creation. I believe that this is possible, and that we could take a stance that good and bad things happen to good and bad people. In other words, to classify people as good or bad and to attribute events based on this is futile. We live in a chaordic world and are subject to the laws of the Universe. God is in us and around us by our sides as we struggle well in an imperfect world. In this way we are co-creators with God in bringing greater enlightenment to an evolving world in order to bring it closer to perfection.

Reference

Kushner, H.S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people. New York: Avon Books.

SEAN LATIMER, B.Comm; CA(SA); MA
Registered Clinical Counsellor
15391 Russell Avenue
Lower Suite
White Rock, BC
V4B 2R2
CANADA

(604) 505-5244
info@seanlatimer.com

Sean Latimer, B.Comm; CA (SA); MA is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in private practice in White Rock, BC, Canada. His areas of practice are: trauma therapy (EMDR and OEI), relationships (Gottman Marital Therapy), and worklife & career issues.

http://www.seanlatimer.com

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