The Iron Mask - The Common Sources of Personality Disorders

Do all personality disorders have a common psychodynamic source?

To what stage of personal development can we attribute this common source?

Can the paths leading from that common source to each of these disorders be charted?

Will positive answers to the above endow us with a new understanding of these pernicious conditions?

Acute Anger

Anger is a compounded phenomenon. It has dispositional properties, expressive and motivational components, situational and individual variations, cognitive and excitatory interdependent manifestations and psychophysiological (especially neuroendocrine) aspects. From the psychobiological point of view, it probably had its survival utility in early evolution, but it seems to have lost a lot of it in modern societies. Actually, in most cases it is counterproductive, even dangerous. Dysfunctional anger is known to have pathogenic effects (mostly cardiovascular).

Most personality disordered people are prone to be angry. Their anger is always sudden, raging, frightening and without an apparent provocation by an outside agent. It would seem that people suffering from personality disorders are in a CONSTANT state of anger, which is effectively suppressed most of the time. It manifests itself only when the person's defences are down, incapacitated, or adversely affected by circumstances, inner or external. We have pointed at the psychodynamic source of this permanent, bottled-up anger, elsewhere in this book. In a nutshell, the patient was, usually, unable to express anger and direct it at "forbidden" targets in his early, formative years (his parents, in most cases). The anger, however, was a justified reaction to abuses and mistreatment. The patient was, therefore, left to nurture a sense of profound injustice and frustrated rage. Healthy people experience anger, but as a transitory state. This is what sets the personality disordered apart: their anger is always acute, permanently present, often suppressed or repressed. Healthy anger has an external inducing agent (a reason). It is directed at this agent (coherence).

Pathological anger is neither coherent, not externally induced. It emanates from the inside and it is diffuse, directed at the "world" and at "injustice" in general. The patient does identify the IMMEDIATE cause of the anger. Still, upon closer scrutiny, the cause is likely to be found lacking and the anger excessive, disproportionate, incoherent. To refine the point: it might be more accurate to say that the personality disordered is expressing (and experiencing) TWO layers of anger, simultaneously and always. The first layer, the superficial anger, is indeed directed at an identified target, the alleged cause of the eruption. The second layer, however, is anger directed at himself. The patient is angry at himself for being unable to vent off normal anger, normally. He feels like a miscreant. He hates himself. This second layer of anger also comprises strong and easily identifiable elements of frustration, irritation and annoyance.

While normal anger is connected to some action regarding its source (or to the planning or contemplation of such action) - pathological anger is mostly directed at oneself or even lacks direction altogether. The personality disordered are afraid to show that they are angry to meaningful others because they are afraid to lose them. The Borderline Personality Disordered is terrified of being abandoned, the narcissist (NPD) needs his Narcissistic Supply Sources, the Paranoid - his persecutors and so on. These people prefer to direct their anger at people who are meaningless to them, people whose withdrawal will not constitute a threat to their precariously balanced personality. They yell at a waitress, berate a taxi driver, or explode at an underling. Alternatively, they sulk, feel anhedonic or pathologically bored, drink or do drugs - all forms of self-directed aggression. From time to time, no longer able to pretend and to suppress, they have it out with the real source of their anger. They rage and, generally, behave like lunatics. They shout incoherently, make absurd accusations, distort facts, pronounce allegations and suspicions. These episodes are followed by periods of saccharine sentimentality and excessive flattering and submissiveness towards the victim of the latest rage attack. Driven by the mortal fear of being abandoned or ignored, the personality disordered debases and demeans himself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder. These pendulum-like emotional swings make life with the personality disordered difficult.

Anger in healthy persons is diminished through action. It is an aversive, unpleasant emotion. It is intended to generate action in order to eradicate this uncomfortable sensation. It is coupled with physiological arousal. But it is not clear whether action diminishes anger or anger is used up in action. Similarly, it is not clear whether the consciousness of anger is dependent on a stream of cognition expressed in words? Do we become angry because we say that we are angry (=we identify the anger and capture it) - or do we say that we are angry because we are angry to start with?

Anger is induced by numerous factors. It is almost a universal reaction. Any threat to one's welfare (physical, emotional, social, financial, or mental) is met with anger. But so are threats to one's affiliates, nearest, dearest, nation, favourite football club, pet and so on. The territory of anger is enlarged to include not only the person - but all his real and perceived environment, human and non-human. This does not sound like a very adaptative strategy. Threats are not the only situations to be met with anger. Anger is the reaction to injustice (perceived or real), to disagreements, to inconvenience. But the two main sources of anger are threat (a disagreement is potentially threatening) and injustice (inconvenience is injustice inflicted on the angry person by the world).

These are also the two sources of personality disorders. The personality disordered is moulded by recurrent and frequent injustice and he is constantly threatened both by his internal and by his external universes. No wonder that there is a close affinity between the personality disordered and the acutely angry person.

And, as opposed to common opinion, the angry person becomes angry whether he believes that what was done to him was deliberate or not. If we lose a precious manuscript, even unintentionally, we are bound to become angry at ourselves. If his home is devastated by an earthquake - the owner will surely rage, though no conscious, deliberating mind was at work. When we perceive an injustice in the distribution of wealth or love - we become angry because of moral reasoning, whether the injustice was deliberate or not. We retaliate and we punish as a result of our ability to morally reason and to get even. Sometimes even moral reasoning is lacking, as in when we simply wish to alleviate a diffuse anger.

What the personality disordered does is: he suppresses the anger, but he has no effective mechanisms of redirecting it in order to correct the inducing conditions. His hostile expressions are not constructive - they are destructive because they are diffuse, excessive and, therefore, unclear. He does not lash out at people in order to restore his lost self-esteem, his prestige, his sense of power and control over his life, to recover emotionally, or to restore his well being. He rages because he cannot help it and is in a self-destructive and self-loathing mode. His anger does not contain a signal, which could alter his environment in general and the behaviour of those around him, in particular. His anger is primitive, maladaptive, pent up.

Anger is a primitive, limbic emotion. Its excitatory components and patterns are shared with sexual excitation and with fear. It is cognition that guides our behaviour, aimed at avoiding harm and aversion or at minimising them. Our cognition is in charge of attaining certain kinds of mental gratification. An analysis of future values of the relief-gratification versus repercussions (reward to risk) ratio - can be obtained only through cognitive tools. Anger is provoked by aversive treatment, deliberately or unintentionally inflicted. Such treatment must violate either prevailing conventions regarding social interactions or some otherwise deeply ingrained sense of what is fair and what is just. The judgement of fairness or justice (namely, the appraisal of the extent of compliance with conventions of social exchange) - is also cognitive.

The angry person and the personality disordered both suffer from a cognitive deficit. They are unable to conceptualise, to design effective strategies and to execute them. They dedicate all their attention to the immediate and ignore the future consequences of their actions. In other words, their attention and information processing faculties are distorted, skewed in favour of the here and now, biased on both the intake and the output. Time is "relativistically dilated" - the present feels more protracted, "longer" than any future. Immediate facts and actions are judged more relevant and weighted more heavily than any remote aversive conditions. Anger impairs cognition.

The angry person is a worried person. The personality disordered is also excessively preoccupied with himself. Worry and anger are the cornerstones of the edifice of anxiety. This is where it all converges: people become angry because they are excessively concerned with bad things which might happen to them. Anger is a result of anxiety (or, when the anger is not acute, of fear).

The striking similarity between anger and personality disorders is the deterioration of the faculty of empathy. Angry people cannot empathise. Actually, "counter-empathy" develops in a state of acute anger. All mitigating circumstances related to the source of the anger - are taken as meaning to devalue and belittle the suffering of the angry person. His anger thus increases the more mitigating circumstances are brought to his attention. Judgement is altered by anger. Later provocative acts are judged to be more serious - just by "virtue" of their chronological position. All this is very typical of the personality disordered. An impairment of the empathic sensitivities is a prime symptom in many of them (in the Narcissistic, Antisocial, Schizoid and Schizotypal Personality Disordered, to mention but four).

Moreover, the aforementioned impairment of judgement (=impairment of the proper functioning of the mechanism of risk assessment) appears in both acute anger and in many personality disorders. The illusion of omnipotence (power) and invulnerability, the partiality of judgement - are typical of both states. Acute anger (rage attacks in personality disorders) is always incommensurate with the magnitude of the source of the emotion and is fuelled by extraneous experiences. An acutely angry person usually reacts to an ACCUMULATION, an amalgamation of aversive experiences, all enhancing each other in vicious feedback loops, many of them not directly related to the cause of the specific anger episode. The angry person may be reacting to stress, agitation, disturbance, drugs, violence or aggression witnessed by him, to social or to national conflict, to elation and even to sexual excitation. The same is true of the personality disordered. His inner world is fraught with unpleasant, ego-dystonic, discomfiting, unsettling, worrisome experiences. His external environment - influenced and moulded by his distorted personality - is also transformed into a source of aversive, repulsive, or plainly unpleasant experiences. The personality disordered explodes in rage - because he implodes AND reacts to outside stimuli, simultaneously. Because he is a slave to magical thinking and, therefore, regards himself as omnipotent, omniscient and protected from the consequences of his own acts (immune) - the personality disordered often acts in a self-destructive and self-defeating manner. The similarities are so numerous and so striking that it seems safe to say that the personality disordered is in a constant state of acute anger.

Finally, acutely angry people perceive anger to have been the result of intentional (or circumstantial) provocation with a hostile purpose (by the target of their anger). Their targets, on the other hand, invariably regard them as incoherent people, acting arbitrarily, in an unjustified manner.

Replace the words "acutely angry" with the words "personality disordered" and the sentence would still remain largely valid.

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Partners With Pathology - 7 Signs That Your Partner Has a Personality Disorder

Everyone experiences challenges and misunderstandings in their relationships. However, if your partner is pathological and afflicted with a personality disorder, a relationship can become a bewildering minefield without an apparent reason. This is because individuals with personality disorders, which include narcissism, sociopathy/psychopathy, and borderline personality disorder, are wired very differently than the rest of us. Fundamental assumptions about the way people react to situations and their standards of conduct simply can't be applied to a partner with a personality disorder, and these individuals frequently engage in behavior that is very destructive to their personal relationships. Here are 7 signs that your partner may be suffering from a personality disorder:

1.  Grandiose sense of self worth. Your partner may express or believe that he or she is superior to others, and should only associate with other high status and "special" people and institutions. Your partner may also exaggerate accomplishments and expect preferential treatment.

2.  Lack of empathy. Your partner may not be able to relate to or identify with the emotions of others. Your partner may make an attempt to appear to feel for others, but it is simply play acting and eventually the act will start to ring hollow.

3.  Lack of remorse or guilt. Your partner may do destructive and hurtful things, but not really be able to experience remorse for his or her actions. Again, your partner may express guilt, but it is false and hollow and this becomes apparent over time.

4.  Lack of impulse control. Your partner may be unable to delay gratification. He or she may also have a tendency toward boredom that leads to high risk behaviors. This may contribute to compulsive activities such as drug use and sexual exploitation, and even violence.

5.  Inability to follow through on commitments. Your partner may have difficulty managing a job, bills, marital commitments, and a variety of responsibilities.

6.  Compulsive lying and manipulation. Your partner may lie about a great many things, large and small, significant and insignificant, sometimes without apparent reason. Some individuals with personality disorders are the classic "con men" who bilk others out of money rather than earning an honest living.

7.  Extreme black and white thinking. You may either be unrealistically idealized or devalued in the mind of your partner. There is often a sense of needing to "walk on eggshells" to avoid upsetting your partner.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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Personality Disorders - A Discussion

There is growing awareness about the problem of personality disorders. Surprisingly, psychologists estimate up to 15 percent of the population in Western society have some degree of personality disorder. In America, that would equate to over 40 million adults.

A personality is made up of several different components, including how the person interacts with their peers and the world around them, their beliefs, their emotional coping strategies, their thoughts and their pervasive mood. For someone with a disorder, there was a stage in their development where things did not progress as it should. There are several different types of personality disorder. Most people who suffer from one function fairly well as adults, but are often regarded as antisocial, eccentric or emotionally unpredictable by those around them.

One of the more common disorders is borderline personality disorder. Although the word 'borderline' suggests their behaviour is only marginally atypical, this is not the case. 'Borderline', at the time of the disorder first being identified, referred to the fact a person with it was believed to fall between having a neurosis or psychosis. A person with a borderline personality disorder has a tendency for extreme mood swings, and is prone to moments where they are confused about their self worth or sense of identity.

A much more extreme type of disorder is narcissistic personality disorder. To people around them, sufferers appear to have a very over inflated ego, but the disorder runs much deeper than that. They may have frequent fantasies about limitless power or money and continually boast or exaggerate their importance or talents. While they believe everyone around them should be in awe of their greatness they tend to view other people as been rather insignificant or stupid. Narcissists are difficult to treat. It is always a challenge to change a person's core beliefs, whether they are dysfunctional or not, and a narcissist may be very resistant to help as they perceive themselves as being so perfect.

Psychopathic personality disorder is one which receives a lot of publicity. Most peoples opinion of what a psychopath is formed by the media, and they usually associate the term with serious offenders such as serial killers. But the majority of psychopaths, while having some deeply anti social behaviours, are no real threat to anyone and harbour no desire to kill, although it is true that many prolific murderers had psychopathic personality disorder. A psychopath is often intelligent and charming, but they lack empathy and an ability to love. They do mostly understand right and wrong, but just have no desire to follow rules if it conflicts with what they want. Typically, they are impulsive and sometimes aggressive.

Personality disorders are difficult to cure because they are so deep rooted. The best time to treat them is in childhood, when these antisocial behaviours first start to emerge.

Leanne doesn't just write about mental health, she also writes about products. Recent articles include finding a tv stand for sale to suit your needs, and buying a wooden tv stand.

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Personality Disorders - Borderline Personality and Different Psychological Types

If you feel that you cannot find satisfaction in life because you are missing something and yet you don't know what it is, then you have to discover your internal world.

You may believe that you suffer from a personality disorder or that you have a borderline personality. However, you could simply belong to a different psychological type and hardly find people who are like you.

Perhaps you are introverted, or you are more intelligent than the average person. This means that you will have difficulty meeting people who really understand you. You tend to isolate yourself. Your friends are not people you feel comfortable with.

By learning how to translate your own dreams according to the scientific method of dream interpretation, you'll have a guide that will help you transform your personality and at the same time, understand other people's personalities.

Even if you really suffer from a personality disorder, you'll certainly find balance and self-confidence.

You'll discover the other side of reality, where everything is prepared to happen before actually happening. This vision will help you understand how our world functions, and what determines human behavior.

In case you are constantly unsatisfied because you belong to a rare psychological type, you'll learn how to find balance in a world that cannot evaluate the positive aspects of your uncommon personality.

If you are introverted, you'll learn how to pay attention to the external reality instead of distancing yourself from it. This way you won't be vulnerable to mental illnesses. Mental illness appears with more frequency in introverted psychological types than in extroverted ones.

This happens because people who belong to the introverted psychological type tend to completely despise the external reality; including other people's opinions. Introverted people are right to a degree, but as they insist on being different from the crowd, they end up blindly following their introverted character.

Instead of being original, they simply repeat the mistakes of all the people who belong to their psychological type.

If you are more intelligent than the average person, you are in great danger because your ego can lead you to absurdity. You have to go through dream therapy, so that you may learn how to be humble and sensitive. Otherwise, your pride will transform you into an easy victim of the wild side of your conscience that keeps trying to control your behavior. It uses absurdity to destroy your sensibility, taking advantage of your mistakes.

The wise unconscious mind will guide you through dream messages, helping you prevent all mental illnesses forever.

You'll discover that you can find completion and satisfaction as you learn all the secrets of the human conscience, eliminating the roots of absurdity from your mind.

A new purpose of life will give you motivation and inspiration. You'll finally find what was missing in your psyche, and what was missing in your life.

Your personality will stop being considered borderline or problematic. You'll learn how to interact with everyone, feeling comfortable in all occasions, and with everyone.

After the evolutionary process you'll pass through when you acquire complete consciousness, you won't depend on external factors to feel completely fine. On the contrary, you'll manage to always feel satisfied with yourself and have a meaningful life.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.
Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com

Click Here to download a Free Sample of the eBook Dream Interpretation as a Science (86 pages!).

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Four Ways to Help Reverse Your Teen's Habitual Patterns of Displaying Borderline Personality Traits

In the field of behavioral health, there is a reason persons under the age of eighteen cannot be diagnosed with a personality disorder, (Axis II). The reason is, with intensive psychotherapy and familial support; young persons have been known to make significant changes to detrimental aspects of their characters, for the better.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be characterized by rapid mood swings, chaotic relationships, and consistent impulsiveness. Adults with borderline personality disorder usually presents with a low sense of self worth, anxiety and chronic depression. It is not uncommon for adults with BPD to make suicidal threats, a threat to be taken seriously since completed suicides occur in about ten percent of persons with BPD. Alongside with the threat of taking one's life, the difficulty in having peaceful relationships with others is usually characterized by an inability to keep a job, failed intimate relationships and legal problems. Most people usually stereotype BPD to be mostly confined to the female population, but in truth just about an equal number of men have BPD. They usually go undiagnosed and most are in the prison system.

Teenagers who usually present with strong BPD traits, present with a poor sense of self worth, suicidal threats, self injurious behaviors (think cutting), as well as self reported feelings of emptiness. They also present as being easily irritated and routinely will have anger outbursts. Their close relationships with family and peers are usually characterized by drama, chaos and they are impulsive.

There are four ways parents with teens who display strong borderline traits can begin to help them towards the path of change, for the better. These methods are as follows:

One: It's Okay to Make Mistakes

Given that most teens with strong BPD traits present with a low sense of self worth, a parent who's overly critical will only make matters worse. Parents should practice this: So long as your child has done nothing to hurt others or reflect a lack of empathy towards others, simply talk to them about the situation. A good example would be poor grades in school.

Two: Poor Anger Management

Fires don't put out fires, responding to your teen's anger outburst with an anger outburst of your own will only help them make the behavior more habitual. If your teen resorts to throwing a temper tantrum, let them. If it is over something you wouldn't give to them for appropriate reasons, don't give in. Remain calm and make sure they are safe, once they have calmed down, talk to them about the behavior and don't be afraid to give consequences. If they resort to breaking items that don't belong to them, make efforts to ensure they replace such items, if they resort to threatening your safety, calmly inform them that if the threat is made again, that the authorities will be called in. If the threat is made again, follow through.

Three: Suicidal Ideation and Self Injurious Behaviors

Take all threats of ending one's life seriously; this includes self injurious behaviors, such as self mutilation through cutting. While research studies suggest that cutting isn't indicative of suicide, treat the situation as a suicidal threat. Rush your teen to the nearest emergency ward or psych ward and depending on the severity of their actions or threats you may also get them admitted over night for observations. At home take any and all items which can be used to hurt one's self from their room, I have known parents who have taken off the doors to their teens' room. Clearly your teen will not appreciate these gestures, but calmly explain to them that you love them so much and you are taking reasonable precautions to ensure their safety. At this point it is also wise to get your teen to see a therapist, with whom you can work with to develop a contract, where your teen commits to not making any attempts to hurt his or herself. Overreaction is always the best form of action in suicidal ideation and attempts. It also helps you regain control in the relationship, once your child learns that you are willing to go above and beyond, anytime they make threats to end their life, (instead of giving in) they will usually cease the behavior. Overreaction has to be employed every time a suicidal threat or attempt is made.

Four: Build on the Relationship.

Focus more on the positives of your relationship with your teen, from improvement in behaviors, greetings in the morning, completion of household chores, and family outings. Make an authentic effort to seek out and highlight the positives in your teen and the positives in your relationship with your teen. This will help them build on their sense of self worth and confidence.

Ugo Uche MS., LPC

http://www.road2resolutions.com

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/counseling-services.asp

Ugo Uche is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach who specializes with parenting and ADHD. For more information about Ugo please visit ROAD2RESOLUTIONS.COM

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Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know? He Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Having read the autobiography of George, Lord Byron, there is no doubt in my mind that he was indeed, as Lady Caroline Lamb is purported to have described him, 'mad, bad and dangerous to know'. Possibly he was bad; he was certainly noticeably and repeatedly self-centred, and there are reports of his having been less than generous to people who deserved better. No doubt he was dangerous to know, breaking the hearts of men and women including, reputedly, his half-sister Augusta. But he definitely wasn't mad. Nearer Lady Lamb's description would be the fictional character so beautifully crafted by Emily Bronte; Heathcliff. His complete inability to empathise with others, his recorded cruelty to animals - seemingly spurred on by nothing more than morbid curiosity and, of course, his lifelong obsession with one person, Cathy. Granted, Heathcliff isn't a real, flesh and blood person with a mind to analyse but, if he were, and based on the characteristic described in Wuthering Heights, I would suggest he had Borderline Personality Disorder.

It would be unfair to claim that Emily Bronte romanticised her hero. In fact I believe her intention, as suggested by those who know far more about the subject than I do, was to portray Catherine and Hinton as the happy couple to be admired and emulated by her readers. Wayward bunch that we are, most of us prefer the dramatic, headstrong and passionate Cathy and her apparently devoted Heathcliff. However, their story is fictional. In reality Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) is a mental health condition and comprises of an extremely demanding set of symptoms to cope with; whether you have BDP yourself or you live with someone who does. There are a range of behaviours listed under the classification for BDP, the assertion that the symptoms are difficult to accept is a generalisation based on the reasoning that whichever the symptoms are displayed are both challenging and constant.

Dark, brooding heroes, continually obsessing over their loved one, is a nice fantasy. As long as it remains a state of being that we don't actually have to live with, day in day out, year after year, it can seem almost flattering to be the object of such focus. It isn't flattering; it is tiring, and draining and, on the whole, extremely negative. Not only does the assumed idol get put on a pedestal and admired, they are also blamed for everything. And I do mean everything; the news, the rain, people talking on the bus, complete strangers laughing together. Paranoia is one of the most common characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). As is the case with many mental health classifications, it isn't so much that the behaviours themselves are uncommon, but the extent to which they are evidenced in certain people is extreme. When behaviour affects everyday life then it becomes classifiable.

People with BPD can be excessively demanding, so tend not to have a wide circle of friends because of that. Unfortunately, this means that the chosen one tends to have a heavier load to carry than might otherwise be the case. Living with someone with BPD doesn't mean that you are adored and worshipped; rather you are the chief whipping boy, the scapegoat. There is nothing fictional about BPD, and there is nothing romantic about living with it.

The bottom line is that mean and moody fictional heroes are fascinating; living with a volatile, illogical person continually demanding your complete attention is considerably less so. When a member of your family or a dear friend develops mental health issues, of course we all do as much for them as possible. But if you meet someone new, someone wild and exciting who your friends and family are warning you about then it isn't necessarily a romantic case of star-crossed lovers. So, before you willingly get involved with someone who appears to only need the love of a good woman, or man, someone 'mad, bad and dangerous to know', just think about it first. It might save you the pain of a doomed relationship.

Lynda Fernandez
http://www.LyndaFernandez.blogspot.com

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Online Therapy for Depression, Relationships Problems, Social Phobia, or Personality Disorders

When you submit your dreams for a professional dream translation you receive free psychotherapy after the instant translation of their meaning. You are charged only a small fee for the professional translation of the dream images depending on your dreams' word count. In addition, your entire biography is analyzed without any charge, and you have the opportunity to ask as many questions are you need for further clarification. You always receive very clear guidance.

Many depressed or insecure people are finding solutions to their problems when they understand the unconscious guidance, contained in the dream images. Yesterday, for example, a woman found support after sending me only 4 short dreams. She doesn't need to send me more dreams for translation; her entire problem was comprehensively analyzed, and she found all the solutions she needs. Of course, the more dreams we translate, the more we learn. However, as little as four short dreams was sufficient for a full psychotherapy.

This woman is very excited about discovering how much we can learn through dream analysis. Now she is studying dream interpretation according to the scientific method in order to translate her own dreams without having to rely on the help of a professional dream translator. This is another service I provide. Many other translators will not reveal their method for fear of losing return business. I teach you everything I know; you can easily become a professional dream translator like me.

Other people send me many dreams for translation without ever thinking about studying the dream language. They are not paying for an online treatment, in fact, they are only paying a small fee for a profession translation from one language to another. They feel very comfortable proceeding this way.

I understand this position, even though I believe that everyone should learn the dream language. There are people who have grave problems and do not have the concentration needed to devote to professional lessons. Other people have no facility with languages, or they don't like studying. Not everyone in this world has the same talents.

Therefore, I will tell you directly everything that I see reflected in the dream images. This means that you may discover for example, that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you. However, the unconscious mind will help you find your real soul mate, and have a perfect love relationship with the right person.

Or, I may tell you that you are immature, and you must evolve. All your mistakes are reflected in the dream messages so that you may stop making them, and learn how to be wise. Only after seeing what is bad, negative, and wrong, will you understand what is good, positive and true.

If you are depressed, if you have relationship problems, if you suffer from social phobia, or if you have a borderline personality, the unconscious guidance will be a true salvation for you. You'll be always enlightened and relieved.

The unconscious mind helps you discover the roots of your psychological problems. It will show you how to eliminate what is bad. It gives you objective information about the person you love. It will show you things that you would never learn otherwise. The unconscious mind has a divine origin and can see everything.

You'll have dreams predicting future problems in many occasions, so that you may correct your mistakes, and this way avoid what would be very unpleasant for you. This advantage will be immensely helpful each time you have to make important decisions in life.

The vision you'll have thanks to dream translation will always give you self-confidence and safety. All your fears will be completely eliminated, and your intelligence will increase.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.
Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com

Click Here to download a Free Sample of the eBook Dream Interpretation as a Science (86 pages!).

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Personality Disorders Can Hurt Your Business

Personality Disorders are psychiatric conditions that usually cause life-long problems in both personal and work relationships for the individual. The reason for this is that the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of the person do not match expectations of society.

There are ten different types of personality disorders and although criteria is complex, following is an extremely brief description of each:

1. Antisocial - These individuals live and behave as though they do not have a conscience.

2. Avoidant - People who do not do things that they need to do even if the task would benefit them, can fall into this category.

3. Borderline - Those who act immature and tend to be in crisis most of the time might be diagnosed as having this personality disorder.

4. Dependent - When people cannot seem to live or make decisions on their own, they could possibly have this disorder.

5. Histrionic - These are the "drama queens" who make everything into a big deal.

6. Narcissistic - The person who is arrogant and totally in love with him-herself might have a Narcissistic personality disorder.

7. Obsessive-compulsive - Those with this disorder tend to have thoughts and feelings that escalate drastically followed by behaviours that are not directly associated with them.

8. Paranoid - This person is afraid that everyone and everything is out to get them.

9. Schizoid - These people usually live in social isolation and are indifferent to other people.

10. Schizotypical - When a person has trouble with relationships, appearance, and disturbing thoughts, they could be schizotypical.

It can be very difficult to diagnose personality disorders. In fact, this is usually done by psychiatrists. Just because someone meets some of the criteria does not mean that they have the diagnosis.

Severity might range from mild to severe and many do not go for help unless they are have difficulties in their lives or another mental illness such as depression or anxiety. Medications and talk therapy may be helpful but Personality Disorders are not cured. They are only managed.

Imagine how difficult it might be to have someone in your business with a full-blown Personality Disorder. You and they would likely face problems on a regular basis unless the person is following a treatment plan and functioning at a high level.

The good news is that if you or someone who is working with you has a personality disorder, there is help available. The first step is to set an appointment with a psychiatrist so that an assessment can be completed.

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Treatment For Extreme Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder affects about 2% of all adult individuals and comprises 20% of the population confined in psychiatric institutions. It is commonly observed during adolescence, characterized by mood instability, self-image distrurbance and emotional liability. This ailment is expected to dissolve by maturity, with effective personality development. Though borderline personality disorder is not an incapacitating mental condition, like schizophrenia, it is considered a very serious illness by most psychiatrists because of the harm an afflicted person may bring upon him or her self, during the peak of stress.

About 9 to 75 percent of those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder exhibit self-mutilation, drug addiction, alcoholism and suicidal attempts. Out of this population who practice self destructive behaviors, about 8 to 10% actually die. These alarming results prompt medical experts to address the mental ailment with effective treatments.

The first line of treatment that is recommended is psychotherapy. This helps patients learn to control their emotions, take responsibility for their lives and use positive coping mechanisms to get through challenges. Psychotherapy employs the "no-suicide" contract to lessen the possibility of deaths and at the same time, empower the patient to contradict his own despair and seek support when needed. Psychotherapy also provides an avenue for cognitive restructuring, wherein a person's negative and faulty perception of him or her self and world is corrected.

For extreme cases, hospitalization is advised. Severe depression will drive a person with borderline personality disorder to commit suicide and succeed at it. To prevent this, constant supervision and immediate medical treatment is required. Hospitals and psychiatric institutions have the necessary facilities to secure the individual's safety and health. These establishments also have adequate amounts of staff that could observe and attend to the needs of the patients, in a manner that would be most therapeutic for them.

In conjunction with psychotherapy and hospitalization, medication is given to control the destructive symptoms of borderline personality disorder and improve the person's well-being. Low doses of antipsychotic drugs are given to people with borderline personality disorder during brief psychotic episodes. Antidepressants and anxiolytics are also prescribed for treatment of specific emotional states.

With effective incorporation of all these three treatments, borderline personality disorder can be treated.

Jessica Suarez has spent years on the study on Borderline Personality Disorder, and has written books on BPD treatments.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a very difficult disorder to live with. Those with this BPD have difficulties managing strong emotions and forming healthy relationships with those closest to them, such as significant others and family. BDP is a relational problem, and at it's core are abandonment issues.

There are many excellent treatments for treating Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. The most common treatment modalities include DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and medications. DBT focuses on teaching people how to better manage their thoughts and feelings. It is often done in group settings with a trained professional. CBT works at replacing negative thoughts and behaviors associated with BPD. Medications target the symptoms accompanying BDP, which are often Depression and Anxiety. Medications are rarely, if ever, used exclusively for treating BPD and therapy is more effective for actually teaching people more effective ways of tackling the disorder.

Any combination of these therapies are excellent for treating the disorder effectively. In my experience as a counselor, I have heard from many people who report experiencing relief from BPD after going through a DBT program.

Another way to get support for dealing with BPD is to look for support groups in your area. You can find Borderline Personality Disorder support groups by checking with your therapist or by looking online. Support groups are great in that those people with BPD can form relationships with others who have similar issues and learn to work through them together.

Also, you can call your local NAMI. NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and is a great resource for people with mental illnesses and their families. It's a great way to get educated about mental illness issues and to find out what supports and services are available in your local area. NAMI's website is http://www.NAMI.org From the site, you can look up your own local branch of NAMI and call them to inquire about what type of help is available for you. Their free information number is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

You can also look for Borderline Personality Disorder self help books. There are many good books available which cover the disorder in depth, and provide ways for people to treat BPD. A trip to your library or a quick online search will uncover many excellent choices.

Tom Zondman has an M.A. in Clinical Counseling and has been in the Counseling field for 16 years. He enjoys writing about his work and other hobbies. For more information on Borderline Personality Disorders, check out his website at http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisordersymptoms.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder - Beyond Managing the Symptoms - Having a Great Life!

Long gone are the dark days of suffering in isolation from the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Many of us have worked hard through recovery and are now leading productive, happy lives with meaningful relationships. We have careers we love, a strong sense of self, and stable emotional regulation. Even though Borderline Personality Disorder is a relatively new diagnosis, with even newer treatment options, those of us who have accepted our ailment and worked hard at recovery are now beyond just managing the symptoms-we are living wonderful lives.

Remember those days not long ago when a diagnosis of cancer meant certain death? We no longer think in those terms for cancer. Today, most cancer patients successfully undergo treatment and get on with life. The same is becoming true about Borderline Personality Disorder. Though once considered a virtual death sentence, a diagnosis today can lead to entering into effective treatment and getting on with living a meaningful life.

We are finding that our recovery is worked in steps:

1. Accepting diagnosis, getting educated and finding treatment.

2. Getting symptoms under control and going into remission.

3. Building relationships, finding meaningful work, knowing and believing in self.

As you may imagine, step three is where the real fun begins, but eventually we all learn to embrace everything about our lives, even the hard parts of the past. But many of us can recall driving a stake in the ground and saying, "this is where it all changes!" the day we figured out what exactly was wrong with us--the day we accepted our diagnosis.

If you are in step two and beginning to get your symptoms under control, there are some things you can begin doing now to lead into step three.

Start getting involved with people, some-where, some how, even if it is only through the mental health community, such as support groups for those with mental illness. You may also find people in church groups or college courses. Take a self-inventory of what you really love and join a club or group of like-minded individuals. This could be anything from a singing to a dog-loving group. People everywhere are trying to find other people to befriend.

If you have been in isolation for an extended period of time, it may seem awkward to be around people at first. You may not know what to do. Here's a tip for you: wherever you go, just serve. Just go to help. Notice other's needs and contribute where you can. This takes the pressure off of you and will really help build your confidence. The old adage, "if you want a friend, be a friend" really does hold true. Just go serve. That's all.

To find meaningful work that makes you feel good about yourself, begin by building on serving in a more organized way. For example, once you've gone to that certain club or group for a little while, volunteer to make the coffee or put up the chairs each time. Start very small and build. Over time, your resilience and confidence will grow and you will be able to do more.

You have been through so much. Be patient with yourself. And know that all you've been through can be used for many good things. Your innate sensitivity will begin to serve you well.

And remember, charity does indeed begin at home. No matter how ill you are when you begin your recovery, you can begin by doing small things for the people you live with. Start today by doing something small for some-one near, without them even knowing it. And don't forget to smile!

Tami Green

To see how I overcame this disorder, including treatment options, visit my website at: http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder - A Day in a Life of Treading Water

Introduction

My case-study client is a 23-year old Canadian Caucasian woman who has been diagnosed as suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, and is under the care of a psychiatrist for medication (Effexor and Loxapine) and talking therapy. Before this she was diagnosed with depression since 8 years of age, and suspects sexual abuse when 2-3 years old.

When asking her to examine her problems of pain and suffering, she decided to tell her story in the form of recounting a day in her life. I then asked her two specific questions directly: Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People? And Where is God when You need Him?.

A Day in My Life

Over the last 10 days, I have been feeling suicidal ideation and extreme depression. I have cut. I wake up from nightmares with imagery around animals e.g. bugs; snakes and rats infested my space. Snakes chase me in a garden and rats in my room but none on me. There is environmental hostility - I dream of the wrong road to my Grandmother's cottage and me climbing a cliff over gravel. So I wake up having worked very hard. When awake, I have anxiety about the day. This may be carried forward from my nightmare - I feel unsafe. I then have immediate thoughts that my boss may be angry or that it is slippery outside.

Last night I was crying as I feel asleep. I felt lonely, empty, a lack of light in my being, especially when with my partner or family or people I love, because the feeling for them has gone. I can still sense their love for me but I feel guilty because I can't reciprocate. All the love I have for people has shut down. When it is a good day i.e. a feeling day, I feel loving towards them. I feel awake. My thoughts carry forward to my dreams and to the next day. "It is kind of like hell; feels like worst thing ever". Worse than missing someone when they die - then I felt grieving but my heart felt full with love although sad. Missing my Grandfather in death was less painful than being depressed around him when he was alive. I was not depressed when he died.

Usually I spend 1 hour lying in bed thinking of the pros and cons of getting out of bed: Will I be disappointing people? How can I be distracted? Do I have sugary cereal? I want to self-sooth or distract. Today - why was I out of bed immediately? Because I found an ice-cream bar to jolt or distract me - the adrenalin release made me so jittery but I had the energy to get dressed. I had a smoke and a coffee. It is tough - only hit 9:30 am by now - so much of the day to go. Then go to work or appointment. On the subway I listen to upbeat music - like funk or pop. This helps to distract me. When very depressed it takes me to neutrality - if it works. If the first song doesn't work, I spend time skipping songs until I find one that does. Then I listen to the same song 3-4 times in a row. The first 2 hours of the day when I interact with co-workers or customers is the best because the focus has shifted onto communicating.

When I wake I am sad if I spent 2 hours with my partner. I try to get away by sleeping in or staying in the bathroom a long time. Generally if I am alone and I wake with lots of energy from coffee or something sweet, I try to pretend I'm in a movie and I imagine my life as a movie with different scenarios or a person e.g. from the movie "Working Girl", watching someone getting dressed to music. It helps in transit while listening to music: "Makes me feel free of limitations I woke up with, because I can create other limitations for that character that I'm not afraid of". Lowers my fear. Has worked for a long time.

Around 3 pm I feel a slump where I feel depressed. Haven't eaten for a few hours. Think about food. Have a lot of judgment of myself around food because what I can afford is not always healthy. So judgmental about my body - I'm not feminine enough, delicate enough, and thin enough. Pressure came from parents and grandparents e.g. Mom happy when I wear feminine or delicate and she gladly tells her friends - causes me pressure. Pressure from one of my Mom's friends. In high school she stayed with us and so judgmental about my dress, my makeup, girls I like, and that my Mom is overweight. She was obsessive and totally phony.

So it depends on whom I've seen or talked when I get hungry. Mom is on a diet and lost a lot - I must do the same because I'm overweight. I argue with myself for 45 minutes about what I will eat - having energy and feeling full vs. feeling I won't gain weight. Sometimes I eat or I don't eat and have diet coke and smokes. After I eat I feel guilty and anxious for having eaten so I phone people to say "HI" and plan for after work to include drinking and to get drunk later. It helps.

From 4-7 pm is pretty difficult so I want to go to sleep but if I have plans then I meet friends and I drink with them as soon as possible. If I feel good after that, I stay out and continue to drink. "Having two beers is like a litmus test". If not better after two beers, then I go home to sleep because at the bar I am around someone I love and feel so bad. I want to cry; often I do cry in front of them or on the subway. There is pain in my solar plexus and sternum from 4-7 pm, but I cannot cry at work. I make plans to get rid of the pain. I go to bed as soon as possible, and sometimes I'll call Mum if I can't sleep, and then I sleep. Mum helps because she gives me hope for the next day. Maybe she will take care of me and I won't feel so bad. "It's a gamble". If I'm generally depressed it doesn't work, but nice to look forward to. Often I cancel plans I've made the day before. Weekends it's different not necessarily better.

My psychiatrist gave me homework piece reflections. I feel that when people express feelings or enthusiasm, it is received by me as pressure - I feel hopeless and depressed and angry e.g. my boyfriend pushing me to play at a bar. I express my anger in cutting myself if for an irrational reason. I know he is supportive. I express my anger in normal ways if deemed by me to be rational. My Dr. said it is not written anywhere that anger has to be for rational reasons. I got excited. My new homework is to express my anger not to cut. I also don't express anger because of how others treat my Grandmother. When they express anger to her then she cries - then the focus from them is to make sure she's OK. I don't want to make people cry so I don't express my anger. I warned my boyfriend that I will be expressing my anger. It makes me angry if he talks about a comedian but doesn't share it. Dr says to use family therapy to practice expressing my anger.

Feeling in last 10 minutes I want to stop because it gets sad after a while - sad to think that this happens 5-7 days a week for the last 3 months. It feels strange to break down my rituals].

I suspended the interview until the next day as a compassionate response to my client.

I asked to stop the interview because I got sad after an hour of thinking about "a day in my life" for months over the last 10 years. I feel too tired to engage in skillful behaviour - I'm paralysed. I slept after we talked. I swing between rational and emotional and not wise mind (from my DBT training). My Dr. asked: 'Can I accept that I bounce back and forth, and that middle ground exists'. For me there is so much swallowing of anger that I end up on rational side, and I go to intellectualizing. I got caught up in the emotion after our first interview. I was totally overwhelmed and scared that I'll never get out of it. Seeing a picture of a 17 lb rabbit in a magazine I bought in a store helped me realize that the world is full of random stuff that makes me laugh. If I just hold on and just remember to be strong.

From our first talk, I mentioned the techniques I use - music and a movie game. There are other processes I go through. It is hard because nobody knows I do it. They can't see it - it is invisible to others. I am tired all the time when in crisis - I can do little. I have 300% more energy when not in crisis. Therapy is better for me at the beginning of the day because I am spent by 3 pm. I also get muscular pain from my mood, in my back, neck and shoulder.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Same reason bad things happen to bad people. A part of the planet Earth is that there's good and bad. With challenges we learn to grow in exceptional ways, and we share with people to help our planet. Sometimes I think that I'm doing this with crisis. Yet it doesn't feel worth it. Pain and loneliness would be OK if it is because I'm doing it for our planet for a reason. Depression is a narcissistic disease. I focus on myself. It takes precedence over everything. It would be OK if I felt that I was doing someone else some good. I can't see it. If I could alleviate others suffering or they feel less alone. I haven't yet fully explored ways of doing this. You need to function at a certain level to help others but in crisis I am not at that level.

So far in getting treatment and receiving help, I think I am and I feel very lucky. I have been blest with people who have open minds. Yet I still cut and feel worthless and have self-destructive behaviour and thoughts. I feel really grateful for resources but feel bad because with all the resources "I still feel s--t", so what about the rest of my life. I see God in help I get. He doesn't give us a challenge we can't handle.

Where is God when I need him most?

When rational I think that I feel disconnected from source energy or God. It is like my umbilical cord to Him is clamped. We are God. The cord is connected to others and everything else. In crisis, I'm here and everyone else is here, but my mind is noisy so I can't hear God. "My mind is screaming and God is whispering". In emotional crisis there is no cord. No God in my life. I feel that my work is done and it's time to go.

Ultimately death is up to God but if he wanted me to be here it would go easier. By world standards life is great. In my heart I feel disconnected, so it is a huge struggle to stay here. When I have no energy, God must think it's finished so it's my time to go. Yet if it was finished, He would take me in my sleep. I struggle between these two views. I care about God. He means all the things that can't be explained - and that excites me. It suggests that there is a purpose to my condition, but "why do I have it if I can't do God's work?"

Commentary

Kushner (1981) concludes that we live in an imperfect world and that even God may be imperfect, especially in His creation. I believe that this is possible, and that we could take a stance that good and bad things happen to good and bad people. In other words, to classify people as good or bad and to attribute events based on this is futile. We live in a chaordic world and are subject to the laws of the Universe. God is in us and around us by our sides as we struggle well in an imperfect world. In this way we are co-creators with God in bringing greater enlightenment to an evolving world in order to bring it closer to perfection.

Reference

Kushner, H.S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people. New York: Avon Books.

SEAN LATIMER, B.Comm; CA(SA); MA
Registered Clinical Counsellor
15391 Russell Avenue
Lower Suite
White Rock, BC
V4B 2R2
CANADA

(604) 505-5244
info@seanlatimer.com

Sean Latimer, B.Comm; CA (SA); MA is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in private practice in White Rock, BC, Canada. His areas of practice are: trauma therapy (EMDR and OEI), relationships (Gottman Marital Therapy), and worklife & career issues.

http://www.seanlatimer.com

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What People Need to Know About Borderline Personality Disorder

Do you think you might have borderline personality disorder or BPD? Well, you might have personality traits commonly exhibited by people with the disorder, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have it. BPD, just like other personality disorders, involves a consistent pattern of thought and interaction between the person with the disorder and with his environment. This pattern usually causes several problems and can impair the sufferer's ability take of himself or cope with life. The pattern for borderline personality disorder is usually characterized by unstable views about one's self, behaviour, feelings and ability to interact with others, all of which can interfere with the person's ability to function normally.

In the past, BPD has been regarded as a set of signs and symptoms that include both psychosis (reality distortion) and neuroses (mood problems). People saw it as a condition that sits borderline between schizophrenia and mood problems. However, it has now been established that the condition is more similar to personality disorders, especially with the way it develops and occurs within families.

The actual causes of borderline personality disorder are still unknown, but there are family, genetic and social factors that are associated with its incidence. The risk factors for the disorder are: 1. disrupted family life, 2. poor family communication, 3. abandonment during childhood and/or adolescence, and 4. sexual abuse. It occurs both in men and women, but mostly in women who are also receiving mental-health treatment. It affects about 6% of adults, and that is why it helps to know about the condition.

Borderline personality disorder has different symptoms. Most people with the disorder are unsure about themselves and their identity, thus their values and interests often rapidly change. They also frequently experience frequent changes in feelings or mood, and these often lead to unstable and intense relationships. They also tend to view things in extremes, as if the world is in black and white. For example, if one thing isn't all good, then it must be all bad. Other symptoms include an irrational fear of abandonment and unwillingness to be alone. They often feel empty or bored when they are alone and are impulsive with their money and sexual relationships. This impulsiveness can even lead to substance abuse, binge eating and shoplifting. They may also have frequent bouts of inappropriate anger and episodes of self-injury. If you exhibit some of these symptoms, you should consider a check up, especially if the symptoms are starting to or are already interfering with your daily life.

Like all the other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is diagnosed based on a psychological examination. The history and severity of the symptoms are also being evaluated. The good news is that BPD can be managed and treated. Many form of talk therapy are successful. These include dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and group therapy. Medications can also help with the person's mood swing and to treat other conditions that can occur with BPD. Generally, the outlook will depend on the severity of the symptoms and on the person's willingness to accept help.

For more information on Different Types of Diseases, Symptoms and Diagnoses, Please visit: Borderline Personality Disorder and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Symptoms.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Abuse - What Connects Borderlines and Domestic Abuse?

What connects borderlines and abusive relationships? Answer: Boundary issues.

Individuals with a borderline personality disorder have significant issues with attachment. They cling to others...attaching themselves strongly, and then become intensely angry or hostile when they believe they are being wronged. They may believe they are being ignored or mistreated by those they depend on and attach to, and this justifies their striking out.

In abusive relationships, individuals lose a clear sense of individual boundaries. And this "boundary blur" goes well beyond two people in a loving relationship union. Instead, it is as though the concept individual doesn't exist.

The same is so with borderlines. There is no sense of the other person having much of any sacred existence other than...as they relate to the projections, demands and service needs of the borderline.

Now you might be scratching your head as you are reading this article wondering who is the borderline in the abusive relationship. Is it the perpetrator or is it the victim? Good question...

Borderlines and Abusers

When abusers are borderlines, their violence has an irrational component different from the violence of an intermittent explosive disorder [or a sociopath]. The violence may appear to spring from a more psychotic process.

As described above, their rage can be ignited by a belief that they are being mistreated or ignored that is simply not based in reality. They harbor a "story" that the person they cling to is there to fulfill their every need, irrespective of the common and customary boundaries of other human beings.

The boundary issues are central to the violence issues when abusers are borderlines. The flip side can be seen when victims are borderlines.

Borderlines and Victims

When borderlines are the declared victim in an abusive relationship, they use their feelings of being wronged to justify their acting out toward their more explicitly explosive partner. And again the acting out stems from their dysfunctional boundary issues.

Borderline personality disorders are in many respects ripe for entering into abusive relationships because the abuser's grooming of dependency and dominance fits the predisposition of their psychopathology.

If you are in an abusive relationship and are keenly aware of the control dynamics, you know, all too well, about the inherent boundary issues in domestic abuse. If there is a borderline component contributing to the abuse dynamics seek to treat this in combination with the intimate partner abuse. By doing so, you will improve your prognosis for breaking the cycle of violence.

For more information about abusive relationship help, visit http://www.domesticabusecounseling.org and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. c Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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Borderline Personality Disorder in the Elderly

Every person has its own character. Some people are introvert and others are extrovert, some are very neurotic and others not. Personality is unmatched in every person as there are not 2 persons alike. Sometimes personality has some traits that make it impossible to function properly in society. When this is the case we often speak of personality disorders.

It is strange to say that when you are a psychologist you will give every person you meet a mini-diagnoses. You do not do this on purpose, it is instinctively looking at everyone you meet how the person is and what traits he has. When you work at a nursery home this will not work at all as most persons have some traits that make it impossible to function. Most elderly also have a multitude of disorders. This makes it very hard to diagnose some one with just one disorder.

Although personality disorders are very common in middle aged people, they are not that often diagnosed in a nursery home. This is probably so because a doctor will more likely look at a kidney malfunction than at someone his personality. However, there is one sort of personality disorder that is not likely to miss and that one is the Borderline Personality disorder.

You can easily recognize someone with Borderline personality disorder as these persons are very good in claiming your attention on a passive aggressive way. They know very well how to manipulate you and others and in that way get as much attention as needed. Dealing with these disorders is very hard as a person with borderline is not able to empathize feelings of others.

The best way in dealing with borderline personality disorder is by giving a lot of structure to the person. Always tell what the rules are and that everybody should stick with the rules. A borderlines will try to find the edge and it is best to clearly state those borders.

If you are Interested in the Subject than visit my website about health and fitness articles or read more about Manic depressive disorder

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How to Cope When Your Loved One Suffers From BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Those who suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) profoundly affect their loved ones. One minute everything is fine and the next you feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time, never knowing how your loved one will react to a situation or to you; will it be with love... or anger? You feel helpless and unable to cope. You are not alone. It is thought that more than six million people in the U.S. have a Borderline Personality Disorder, and that these people greatly affect the lives of at least 30 million others.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? BPD is a serious and often life-threatening disorder that is characterized by severe emotional pain and difficulties managing emotions. The problems associated with BPD include impulsivity (including an impulse to suicide and self-harm), severe negative emotion such as anger and/or shame, chaotic relationships, an extreme fear of abandonment, and accompanying difficulties maintaining a stable and accepting sense of self.

How to cope when your loved one suffers from BPD The best way to cope is to try to understand what BPD is and how it affects the sufferer. It is always easy to be scared of the unknown, so learn as much as you can about BPD, its symptoms and what a sufferer of BPD goes through. Most importantly, understand that when they lash out at you it's not personal.

Of course, even when you think you understand BPD, you will still have to learn how to cope with your own feelings of betrayal, hurt and guilt created by your loved one's attitude towards you and that some people will believe their hurtful comments about you. Sadly, those suffering from BPD have short memories as far as "good things" happening to them, but they always remember the bad stuff and your perceived involvement in that. It is hard to deal with the feeling that you are only as good as the last thing you did for them.

Help them to get treatment If you have enough influence and control in the sufferer's life, then you need to help them to make the decision to seek treatment. It is imperative that they take responsibility for their BPD and be made to understand that there is qualified help out there, that things can be better, that they CAN get control of their life. This is very hard to do and therefore the most difficult element to cope with, because the very nature of the disorder holds the sufferer back from seeking help. It engenders negative feelings in the sufferer towards themselves and those trying to help them, creates low self-esteem meaning the sufferer doesn't feel 'worthy' of help, and gives them a black and white view of the world, meaning that they might dismiss the doctor as 'no good' at a second appointment having been very happy with them at the first.

What if I can't convince them to get treatment? There are many support groups out there, not just for BPD sufferers but also for those who live with, or who are close to, a BPD sufferer. Sometimes just sharing the burden helps. Communication is key in any situation but it is particularly important here. Communication with the BPD sufferer and with those around you to make them understand what you are going through; all this is paramount to help you cope with the stress of loving someone suffering from BPD.

Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com

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May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

Awareness of this condition is much needed.  What disorder is more misunderstood and maligned than this? Many myths and misconceptions exist that further serve to stigmatize those with this diagnosis (or even those who are mistakenly given this diagnosis).

I understand Borderline Personality Disorder( BPD) as a complex trauma disorder.  I see attachment gone awry as well as emotional,  physical, and/or sexual abuse as causative factors.  I have written previously about how childhood trauma impacts the development of basic skills like self-soothing and emotion management.  I believe many of the behaviors associated with BPD, such as self-injury, can be understood as stemming from these deficits.  Simply put, people with BPD are doing the best they can given what little they have received in childhood.  I have worked with many clients who have actually talked about using self-injury as a way to take care of themselves; a way to manage unbearable emotions or even a means to  prevent attempting suicide.

I am well aware that not everyone share my perspective, and that even some mental health professionals and therapists have negative reactions to BPD.

Why is this disorder so misunderstood? Is it just another example of how our society maintains such deep denial regarding the long- term and serious impact of childhood abuse and neglect? Is it a form of victim blaming?

What are your reactions to BPD? Have you ever received this diagnosis? If so, how did you feel? What reactions and misconceptions are you aware of from others? For more information and ideas on raising awareness of BPD, check out the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dr. Young is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience. She has been in private practice in Chicago, Illinois since 1992. Her career focus has been on treating trauma and its aftermath.

She is also an EMDR trained therapist and has completed the Illinois 40-hour Domestic Violence Training. Dr. Young received her doctorate in clinical psychology (Psy.D.) from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology in 1990. For more information: http://www.drkathleenyoung.com

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Early Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder Before it Becomes Full Blown

What would happen if children at risk to develop Borderline Personality Disorder were able to get help in a early stage of its development? Most people do not know the characteristics of BPD and would be hard pressed to identify it in young children. Most people are helped when the mental health problem is full blown. In early adulthood, the symptoms scream for attention and become full blown.

There is the context out of which the BPD develops. Children from abusive families, emotionally, not just physically, are prone to develop the disorder. What is happening at home?

*emotionally cold parenting.

*not able to express feelings

*black and white thinking: this is good; this is bad.

*crying episodes, seemingly without reason.

*daydreaming to excess. Starring

* observer rather than a participant to the extreme.

* sadness.

* facial expression that seems wooden, lack of smiling, even when happy.

*alcoholism in one or both of parents.

*siblings that are distant to each other.

* over achieving together with the other attributes.

* no rewards seem to change their poor self image. The self image is poor

regardless of grades or achievements.

*older parents.

*parents that are overachievers

*reading and rereading questions to make sure they are "correct". Fear of failure.

* emotional numbness. Little emotional expression or self awareness. Face is like a mask.

* excessively "good", well mannered or the opposite.

* Unable to verbalize much about their family. Difficulty talking about their family specifically.

*small outbursts of opinion to galvanize a crowd. Easy prey for religious convention and cultism

People suffering from BPD have trouble moderating their emotions. Emotions come boiling to the surface in extremes. Moderating the emotional reactions seems beyond control. When a child comes from an emotionally abusive family, this child might not be able to express anger at home without fear of punishment. The anger becomes rage and goes underground. After stuffing the feelings so much, the child tries to turn off the feelings entirely so as not to be overwhelmed by these foreign and inconvenient feelings. Eventually, it becomes self numbing. The other side is hysteria or emotional discharge to extremes, such as verbal explosions, or sobbing without seeming reason. The child is probably not aware of the reasons for the repression of ongoing family trauma. To survive in the family, the child represses the memories to make it through.

In one case the child was caught between the parents on most every issue. Would you choose mother's side or father's side? Instead they were ground up in the middle of endless battles between parents. There is no way to find an answer that does not upset one or the other parent? The personal interactions with primary caretakers becomes intensely painful. Later it is harder to choose side in an argument and to defend it without a feeling you will be annihilated or demolished. One teacher observed the child seemed to not like small talk. The child does not know what he/she thinks so small talk is painful. The child ego or center is trying to survive the daily barrage of attacks of parents and possibly siblings. If other children observe the parent's attacks, what is to prevents the siblings from being aggressive or hurtful. In there families, none of the children are getting their needs met. Among siblings, it is natural to have rivalries and competition that reflect underlying deprivation that all the children are feeling. The children can feel jealousy toward the youngest, for example, but be unaware of why they are jealous. This type of dysfunctional family is very difficult to repair. Family group psychiatric intervention is possible if the members are willing to work to improve their family. It is difficult to enrich these families where the parents are so invested in the dysfunction.

To try to give emotional support to the children is desirable to modify the damage of the family setting. There has to a place to go such as camp, Boys and Girls Club, or YWCA or other activities. The more the child spend time outside of the family, the more experiences they will have to compare to the original family situation. The experiences with normalcy whether dinners at friends homes, sleep overs, and other activities, the greater the chance that the child will be able to refer back to these places for reference rather than the traumatic events of the home. BPD is a distorted reaction to living. Therefore, to readjust the child needs to experience normalcy whether in the classroom, the school, the church, or whatever.

BPD persons frequently spend time alone. If the verbal interactions at home stimulate pain, why seek further conversations. Being quiet is a safe place. Eventually, the position of being stuck between to parents is a no win place to be. Anxiety arises as the child anticipates future interactions. The child may develop a desire to please others. Trying to duck and stay out of the range of fire whether it be debates or conversations where you put your views on the line. The BPD child will learn to hide their feelings. Being so afraid of attack on their very identity, why not invent some personalities or personna that are safe from attack. One personna might be the "good girl" or the funny kid or the empathetic observer. Within these destructive homes, a BPD can read the atmosphere of their parents even before words are spoken. The antenna are out all the time. The only problem arises is that in the outside world not every one acts like your parents. It is difficult to differentiate from an attack and a benign approach. These children need friends who have healthy households that they visit and get some healthy parenting. These friends homes are life saving.

The context of the family might show up in parent conferences and are one of the best indicators of potential BPD development. It occurs in some of the "nicest" families. The rigidity of their views might show something of the underlying events.

If the parents seem to need the child to be a trophy for their egos, that could be an indicator. These parents treat their children as objects to satisfy their own ego needs, so the achievement of the kids are bragged about by these parents. They are unable to see their children as rounded or with strengths and shortcomings. The kids are charicatures, or projections, not real.

The parents may come to parents' night but not the sports or drama production. When the father appears at the father-daughter dance, he spends time offering the math teacher a job with his company where he does the hiring. This is a specific example but gives the situation very clearly. Most abuse is about power. This example illustrates how it works in this a family context where BPD developed.

Class activities that practice "gray" thinking, away from black and white differentiation is very helpful. Class activities that practice identifying emotions, such as writing about an historical event as if present would help identify emotions. Exercises that help develop values, self-esteem and self awareness help the child to come out in a safe environment. School debates are excellent ways for children to defend and identify a point of view. Class work that promotes teamwork is helpful, as well. Art, music, gym, and other extracurricular activities allow children to define themselves.

We all want our children to live to their potential but why not create schools where healthy egos can develop and mental illness is identified and repaired.

We want our children to learn the 3 rs but why offer schools where our children learn emotional health.

Janet Kirkpatrick
Janet_Kirkpatrick@msn.com

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A Review of Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

Treatment of any kind of psychological disorder is a hard issue. It comprises many things and it should be done by highly professional people. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is acute mental suffering, which includes a lot of severe psychotic attacks. Also known as bipolar- disorder, BPD mostly consists of deficieny in cognitive sphere and of emotional overreacting.

BPD harms the emotional sphere of human psyche, making it vulnerable and prone to unstableness. Terms such as emotional imbalance or inappropriateness are often used to illustrate the outcome of bipolar disorder. Patients suffering from emotional incompetence, are often prone to controversial emotional responses: their behavior varies depending on the specific mood and emotion, which has captured them. Bipolar disorder patients have problems in controlling their emotions: one day they can act as extremely aggressive, the other can be subdued and meek.

Lack of emotional control is caused by cognitive incompetence: bipolar disorder affects the cognitive sphere, so that patients cannot control their behavior, and have vague ideas about what is proper or not. They more often depend on their mood swings and feelings to tell them how to act. This can be very dangerous, especially with integrating these people in society. This disease has several nuances, there are similarities with manic-depression disorder, but any professional can distinguish between the both.

There are two ways to treat borderline disorder: and the first one is psychotherapy. The therapy should be done by a professional, who acts as a consciousness of the patient. Another way to cure this disorder, is by using drugs. But sole medication cannot make amends in the whole cognitive sphere, so drugs are more often combined with therapy to acquire greater results. People suffering from BPD are often prescribed a great quantity of drugs, which can be really depressing.

A therapist would be helpful in these situations: someone to console the patient and assure him or her of the positive outcome of the process. The medication treatment requires taking anti-psychotics, neuroleptics, and/or anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines. There are a lot of drugs which can be easily found and proved working.

Therapy process must be done so that a patient is obstructed from doing harmful things. A suicidal BPD requires urgent therapy from a highly competent professional. An external aggressive patient needs help from a strict therapist, one who is not lenient with all the patient's anti-social activities.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are really very tough, and a competent help is required at any level. Patients should regularly take their pills, and should participate in the most suitable form of therapy. The cognitive sphere is what is mainly affected with these people, so that they should be looked upon very strictly in order to prevent negative reactions. The BPD patients are often unpredictable: one cannot tell what their reaction will be. To avoid anyone being hurt, they should be carefully scrutinised.

Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning health. Learn more at Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment [http://www.healthandmedicineinfo.com/health--medicine-information/health--medicine/a-review-of-borderline-personality-disorder-treatment.html]

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Divorcing Someone Who Suffers Borderline Personality Disorder

Some of the most emotionally abusive relationships and traumatic divorces involve the mentally ill. One of the most difficult of these mental illnesses is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because it is not easily diagnosed. Behaviors can range from extreme violence to subtle patterns of emotional blackmail and projection. On top of that, many Borderlines tend to live in denial, constantly avoiding their own feelings of emptiness, insecurity, anger, disappointment and fear that more often than not stems from an abusive childhood. It is hard to treat and help someone if they don't want to face their own abuse - abuse that they themselves suffered or the abuse that they themselves do.

Classifying Borderlines as "Acting In" or "Acting Out"

Not all borderlines are focused on harming others. Some are so busy with their own inner demons that they are trapped in a realm of substance abuse, suicide attempts, and self-hate that for most can be traced back to child abuse or neglect. They are often known as the "acting in" type. If this is the kind of Borderline in your life, count yourself lucky. That's because they are both more likely to recognize their own problems and work on them and less likely to focus on destroying other people in a desperate attempt to portray themselves as worthy people who are victims in need of assistance.

The other group of Borderlines, sometimes called the "acting out" group, are narcissistic sociopaths with little sense of guilt or remorse. They often have little limit to what they will do to make themselves "win" and you "lose" and don't care who else they hurt in the process. If you have been in a relationship with a person suffering Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), be aware that much of what is written about "acting out" Borderlines applies equally to Narcissists.

Blaming and Projection

A relationship with someone who suffers from BPD can leave the one being abused feeling confused and hopeless as they are often blamed for all the problems in the relationships, even including things they didn't do. Often, such blaming for fictional behaviors is a form of projection used to distract from the Borderline doing the exact thing she or he is accusing the partner of doing. For instance, your Borderline significant other may be having affairs, but you can be sure you will be accused of having affairs (even if you have never had one) long before he or she will admit to one. You may find that many of your friends and family will have heard about your fictional affairs long before you even realize your significant other has been lying about you far and wide. When you try to explain what is really happening, many will refuse to believe the truth because they have heard so many lies about you they cannot imagine they are all false.

The Borderline's excessive tendency to project or transfer their own negative feelings, behaviors, or perceived negative traits onto others usually arises from their own feelings of self-hatred and self-criticism. In order to deny and escape the truth about their own private hell (usually rooted in an abusive childhood), they instead project their own feelings of self-hatred and inadequacy outside themselves onto others. This is why Borderlines will constantly criticize you, accuse you of saying or doing something you haven't done or said, and blame you for their problems and unhappiness.

Borderline projections can be very destructive and because most borderlines do not have healthy boundaries, situations can escalate and cause more unnecessary hurt and damage all the way to very serious false criminal allegations that can cost innocent people their jobs, children, and even their lives.

Divorce Can Intensify the Emotional Abuse

When you divorce someone who suffers from BPD, the emotional abuse does not necessarily end there. It can result in a high-conflict divorce costing you more than you bargained for, not just in terms of wasted money and time, but in very deep psychological wounds. The borderline ex is prone to litigate over everything and to refuse to cooperate with court orders, reasonable requests, and common sense. She or he will likely make even straightforward property settlement issues costly, dragging out the legal process by refusing or avoiding to comply with court decrees to return property, split retirement accounts, repay money owed, and more. He or she may manipulate others by crying poor, telling others that you have lots of money stashed away and have always been mean with money, when in reality they themselves have a much higher income and have more savings than you. Again, this kind of behavior is projection and also a way to humiliate and dominate you.

Another way Borderlines can mess with your mind and emotions is to try and suck you back into the marriage if it is the early stages of your divorce or separation. Be sure to set your limits and be prepared to stand your ground and stick to your boundaries. Borderline behavior will swing unpredictably, one week they may call and want to talk for hours, the next week they may block off any and all communication from you.

No doubt this will be very frustrating so it will be important that you have good legal representation - preferably an attorney who is familiar and understands what drives high-conflict divorces - and a supportive network of family and friends that you can trust. Most importantly, do your best to disengage from the situation. If you have tried every avenue to reasonably communicate with your Borderline and they continue to be unresponsive, do not persist by sending more communication thinking that they might not have received the others you sent. Otherwise the Borderline may distort the truth and accuse you of stalking and harassment.

To understand and find out more about emotionally abusive relationships and how to identify borderline traits, go to angiemedia.com.

Rob Washington is a frequent contributor to angiemedia.com's coverage on families, divorce, mental health, government, and social issues.

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