Defeating Borderline Personality Disorder - Amanda Wang Goes The Distance

After enduring many years of hardship, you were finally diagnosed properly. Can you talk about how things turned around for you?

Without the proper diagnosis and the proper tools, it is a hard battle to fight. Especially if you don't know what you are fighting.

My treatment now, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is not a cure all. But it teaches you the necessary skills to cope with high emotions, urges of suicide, self-injury as well as the ebb and flow of everyday life. That, along with medication and exercise, has been the foundation of my journey towards recovery.

But I still struggle everyday validating my sense of self worth. I question everything I do, especially my need to exist. But I've come to understand that at times what I feel may not necessarily be what I have to do.

How do you deal with situations that make you feel emotionally vulnerable?

If there is a chaotic environment, a loud room, an argument unfolding, or anything that feels out of control, I become over stimulated.

This used to happen often, where lots of things were going on at once. Something as simple as big family dinners would completely overwhelm me and cause an anxiety attack, wreaking havoc on the rest of the week.

I know now to look out for things like that. I can recognize my triggers now and will remove myself from the environment until I return to my baseline.

Yet you were drawn to boxing, which seems an unlikely choice. How did this happen?

After my diagnosis I wanted to do something empowering and stumbled upon a boxing gym. I was drawn to these people who wanted to push themselves in a different way and were open to learning new things.

For the first 3-5 times that I sparred, I cried and was completely overwhelmed. But then I started to learn the sweet science, practicing shadowboxing, heavy bag, double end, and speed bag - and bringing it into the ring.

Boxing reminds me to show up, do the work and then reap rewards. It teaches me to work through the emotional chaos and, yes, there will be another day. For a person with BPD, it's quite comforting to be reminded of that.

Can you describe what goes on in your head, getting into the ring and being in the middle of a fight?

How much time do you have? Ha! Seriously, preparing on the day of a fight is emotionally draining! But once that bell rings, I leave all my doubts, all my questions, all my anxiety behind and focus on one thing. Winning. The practicality of the issue is that there is no time to think negative thoughts or feel anxiety.

It's one of the things I love about boxing and melds well with my treatment. It forces you to be mindful and in the present moment. Nothing else can bother you or else you'll get hit! And even if you do get hit, you can't dwell on it- or else you'll get hit again. So you learn very quickly to stay in the present moment.

As a fighter, what happens when your opponent is extra provocative, trying to get a rise out of you? Do you ever feel yourself getting out of control?

Fortunately I've had an exceptional experience working with other opponents in the ring.

The ring is perhaps the best place I've found to deal with my emotions. It's almost as if boxing were a conversation - even an argument or a heated debate - but your emotions must be kept focused to the task at hand.

It's kind of like exposure therapy. You may get overwhelmed with a flutter of punches, but you learn how to maneuver around it, using counter aggression with speed, with smarts with angles. All those things you practice- round after round, day after day, become part of your arsenal so you don't have to feel out of control.

That's why showing up for training is so important. Boxing is one of the most difficult sports out there to train for and to perform at; you need all the preparation and skills to get you there. Much like my journey in treatment for BPD.

You've put yourself out there, not only as a boxer, but also lecturing to groups about BPD. What is more taxing emotionally, speaking in front of a crowd or being in the ring?

There is nothing like being in the ring. Sparring gets close, but even that is miles away from the feelings you get when you're in a competition. When I talk in front of a crowd, it's more of a one-way dialogue. A monologue. They're paying attention, nodding heads; there might be some questions and answers.

But in the ring, there's a three -way conversation going on, you, your opponent and your coach. And it's all improvised. When you get really good at fighting competitively, boxing is a lot like jazz. But, right now, I'm still learning the notes, the phrasing, the beats and the rhythm of it all while trying to keep my cool and stay aggressive. It's a fine balancing act.

For others suffering from BPD, who aren't boxers, and are looking for emotional tools and outlets. What do you suggest for them?

There is something that exercise does for the mind/body makeup. I highly recommend some form of physical activity just because it reaps so many benefits.

I found boxing to work because it gave me an outlet for anger and aggression, which I felt I could never display. For others, it's something else. They need to search for tools, projects, work or forms of fitness that will keep them anchored.

I believe that the more you fill your life with things to help build you up, the better you're able to keep the disorder at bay.

Do you have any final words?

We can do great things not only despite mental illness, but also maybe because of it. If it weren't for my diagnosis, my treatment and my desire to feel empowered, I would have never gone down this road with the hopes of boxing in Madison Square Garden.

Now I have something greater to live for and to live and do for others to help them believe in themselves. Somehow it gives my suffering meaning. That is my hope. That is what I believe. That is what I want others to receive from my story.

The empowerment revolution provides tools and inspiration to defy your comfort zone! http://www.theempowermentrevolution.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder - What Treatments Can One Get?

There are three treatments that people suffering from Borderline Personality disorder can get. There are talking treatments, therapeutic communities, and alternatives.

Talking treatments

Given that drugs are also prescribed during psychotherapy or talking therapies. These kinds of talks aim to find the roots of the feelings and behavior of the patient. In this case, the therapist also builds a relationship with the patient. This is seen as an important link to your past and present relationship. Being able to explore on this relationship is a helpful break to the unhealthy patterns of your relationships.

There are also some forms of counseling that are synonymous to psychotherapy, like psychodynamic counseling for example. This type of counseling places great emphasis on childhood experience, which could also be one of the causes of the disorder.

Cognitive behavior therapy on the other hand, is a short term treatment that is more focused on the everyday difficulties, and practicalities.

Therapeutic communities

There are some inpatient communities that specialize in treating personality disorders. In this type of therapeutic community, both staff and residents have share the responsibility of tasks and decisions. Deciding to go into a therapeutic community means being ready to talk to your life about other members of the group. This could be especially hard, specially on the first treatments.

What's good about being part of the community is you become aware of your concerns as well as others feelings towards yours and their actions. You can get a perspective of what its like being on the other person's shoes, and discover what you would like to change about yourself which leads to individual therapy and hopefully, medication.

Alternative therapies

Alternative therapies for borderline personality disorder are new discoveries which have been found to be helpful for alleviating some concerns and symptoms. Some of these therapies are yoga and acupuncture.

Susan Tanners is an enthusiast on the study of Borderline Personality Disorder, and has worked with many experts on BPD treatment. To know more about BPD, visit her site now.

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The Borderline Personality Dance and The Non-Borderlines' Dilemma

The Dance of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be defined as the projective-identification and transference of their identity to the extent that they do not know it on to someone else. What does this mean? It means that when the borderline in your life is sad, or hurt or afraid, rather than feel those feelings, as the non-borderline would, the borderline will turn on you in an effort to have you hold, act out and be the very feelings that they cannot hold, handle or cope with. It is a subconscious way to have mirrored back to self all that one feels but refuses to feel. It is essentially, the borderline trying to put distance between him or herself and his/her own unresolved and abandoned pain.

Little do most borderlines realize, that in effect, what they are really doing when they act out and push people away and erect walls to 'protect' them selves is wall themselves in with their own unaddressed psychological pain. There is no relief from pain to be found in casting it out to those or to the world around you. The walls that a borderline builds will wall that borderline in and threaten to drown him/her in his/her own pain. The non-borderline who does not have any boundaries is at risk of being sealed into that borderline wall of agony with a family member, parent, adult-child, friend, or partner with BPD.

It is through this dance that the borderline often sets him/herself up to continually re-experience what feels familiar. Because most borderlines have a tremendous fear of abandonment. the behavior that they engage in often is the reason why people have to distance and/or disengage or turn away, sooner or later, to maintain their own sanity. Yet when it is reasonable to leave or to take space (for a non-borderline - BPD Loved One) the borderline (usually not taking any personal responsibility) will blame you and will experience your taking space or your leaving as abandonment.

The person with Borderline Personality is in a very painful world of his or her own. Emotionally, it is a psychological world that exists in parallel to the world of the "averagely healthy". Despite usually having an above average intelligence and an often charming initial presentation most borderlines are emotionally vastly different from how they are intellectually. The discrepancy between a borderline's general ability to think and his/her emotional capacity is often an internal schism between self-known and self-unknown that is wider and deeper than the grand canyon. It is world that is run by terror and fear and often by the triggered-dissociations from the past of the person with BPD.

The Dance of the Borderline is experienced by the non-borderline when all of sudden, yet again, they have become the focus of the borderline's pain, rage, anger, unmet needs, wants, demands, helplessness and so on. Questions I've been asked a lot of late in email and by clients include, "How do I not go there?" "How can I set a boundary?" "What do I do when he/she starts it all over again?" "Why is this happening?"

So there is the borderline prone to repeatedly engaging in a deceptive dance of demanding devastation and the non-borderline who cannot get into the head (understand the motivation) of the borderline. Herein lies the central dilemma of the non-borderline (BPD Loved One).

The Non-Borderline's Dilemma is realized when he/she comes to the inevitable conclusion that he/she has to effect some change for themselves. There comes the realization that a choice has to be made. The choice is one that most often feels like, and is, a choice between equally unfavorable and disagreeable alternatives. This is the projected out predicament in which the borderline (to a degree) has lived within all of his/her life without knowing if fully. It is this similar dilemma/dynamic or predicament that is the fuel of the borderline dance in the first place. So, you see the borderline and the non-borderline, in some ways, are not so far apart. The experience of each is very painful - often riddled with conflicting emotions. The experience of each is real. The experience of each has its roots in BPD (for the borderline) and the effects of BPD for the Loved One. And yet each lives on a different side of understanding - sharing something in common - yet not connecting with each other as to what each experiences. What each non-borderline must realize within this dilemma however, is that they have the tools necessary to take care of themselves. And that it is up to each and every person with BPD to get help, therapy and/or coaching to learn the skills and tools to help them cope and get on the path to recovery. A BPD Loved One cannot rescue someone with BPD no matter how much one cares. It just isn't possible.

So, you are in a relationship with a borderline and you have reached this stage of dilemma. You want the relationship to survive. You have all sorts of mixed feelings toward this borderline in your life, what are you to do? The first thing you must do is decide what it is that you cannot live with anymore. Once you've identified that, you will then have the rather difficult task of communicating that to the borderline in your life. Before you communicate what your limits and boundaries are make sure that you are prepared to back them up. If you are not, or you do not you will experience the dance times one hundred and the borderline in your life will generate more chaos than before.

You will need to identify the core problem, decide what your limits and boundaries are, you need to develop a plan of action and be ready to implement and consistently stick to it. At this point it's time to talk to the borderline in your life. As you do this -- remember, you must speak only to your experience and not to his/her behavior. This will be the beginning of a difficult and painful process whether things work out or not. As with any dilemma know that your pain is real and that pain is a natural part of change. Your pain does not have to cause you to doubt that you are doing what you need to do for yourself.

The non-borderline must communicate honestly, fairly, and consistently with the borderline knowing full well that you cannot have any control, effect, or say over how the borderline in your life will choose to react or behave, or even punish because when setting your boundaries the person with BPD may well feel abandoned. It is important to not enable or rescue the person with BPD even though their emotions are often so intense. Intensely angry and distancing or intensely painful which can pull on your heart-strings. People with BPD need to learn that they cannot re-play their past abandonment trauma or their present abandonment fear out on you. You will benefit from being neutral in the face of these alternating and intense emotions from a person with BPD in your life.

The only way to not be engaged in the dance of the borderline is to identify, clearly and consistently communicate, and follow through with your boundaries. Pick a quiet time when there is no high intense emotion or conflict, a time when you can talk, calmly to your BPD Loved One.

Your message in words and in action must be clear and consistent. If for example, the borderline in your life is demanding something from you that you cannot give, it is reasonable that you answer the demand calmly with a statement about how you feel and why you cannot do what you are being asked or manipulated to do. Then make a clear statement that you are not going to continue to engage in the conflict or issue. If the borderline continues to press or escalates his/her behavior then you have to disengage in whatever way you have set out as the way that you will do this. For example, if you made it clear you will leave the house for an hour or that you will take a half hour alone somewhere in the house then you must do this.

If you are finding that you have set boundaries and limits and that you have communicated them and acted upon them only to meet with more and more conflict, abuse, punishment (silent treatment) and/or hostility then it is time to consider space. In order for you to take care of yourself and have your needs met, your boundaries and limits need to be respected. This is often next to impossible for many borderlines (not yet in therapy or refusing to get help). If the borderline in your life is not getting help, won't go get help, is in total denial, and will not respect your personhood then the choice you have to make in order to maintain your own sanity is one of space and distance, for a time, or altogether.

As someone who has gone through this from the side of having borderline personality disorder, before I recovered in 1995, I can honestly say that it took my losing people from my life before I could incorporate certain changes. I had to want to make those changes. I had to want to go to therapy. I had to want the help. No one could rescue me - though many people had tried. If you are staying in a relationship or continually caving or surrendering to "have peace" only to find that is not "right", or "good enough" for the borderline in your life either - you are doing no one a favour by staying in that situation. You have to decide whether you are willing to remain a hostage anymore or not. Do you want your freedom enough? What will this freedom that you seek from pain and emotional turmoil mean? Does it mean you can stay?

Does it mean you have to go? Yes, in the pursuit of your disengaging the dance and your attaining your emotional freedom you will hurt. The borderline will hurt. If life and recovery have taught me anything it's that you cannot grow and change without feeling and working through pain. Let your pain motivate you to learn the lessons, whether you are a borderline or a non-borderline. Sometimes we cannot learn those lessons without experiencing loss. Sometimes the only way is to let go.

Often we, borderline or non-borderline, have to lose in order to gain. We have to grieve in order to grow. We have to say good-bye in order to say hello to ourselves and to subsequent others in our lives. No one of us can change for another. No one of us can control another. Relationships are complicated and hard enough. For the borderline they are not truly possible until the borderline finds his or her lost self and then connects to that self and learns to relate to that self.

Until the borderline learns to relate to "self" he/she will always be relating over and over again to "self" through "other". This reality pushes the "other" away. It also is why the borderline tries to take hostages. If the borderline (in throes of BPD) only knows "self" through "other" and "other" goes away the experience is one as real and painful as "death of self" -- annihilation. The end of a relationship to a borderline can be like a death of "self" as was known in "other". The end of a relationship for a non-borderline or averagely "healthy" person is a very

sad, painful loss, but, it is not the loss of self. In fact, when a non-borderline leaves a borderline they often experience a very healthy and welcoming "re-birth" of "self" - a coming home to a self that to one degree or other there was some separation from.

If you have BPD it is up to you to take responsibility for yourself and to learn to respect the limits and boundaries of others. If you are borderline you need to find yourself and to live through that "self" and not project that lost "self" onto others. If you are a non-borderline you need to be realistic with yourself and not accept anything less than basic human courtesy and respect. Where courtesy, respect, and mutuality - healthy give and take - are absent so too is healthy love. What you end up with is a toxic-love dynamic.

The Dance of the Borderline, the tune of which can only be heard by a borderline is music that a non-borderline cannot truly hear or appreciate. You live in one world, separated from itself, worlds over-lapping, yet not touching, worlds in parallel. Borderlines need to stop the dance and the non-borderlines need to end their dilemmas. Whether this can be done in tandem or whether you have to let go and do it alone, only each one of you can decide. Each one of us in this world has a responsibility to ourselves. We cannot extend any real love to another until we learn to love "self", borderline or not.

A.J. Mahari is a Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self-Improvement Coach and is the author of 20+ Ebooks and Author/Narrator of 35+ Audio Programs - The Dilemma on the Other Side of BPD Ebook - Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love? and An Audio Program, "Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love" for BPD Loved Ones might be quite helpful for you and they can be fount at http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca and also has over 10 websites online on a wide variety of topics with many blogs, podcasts, and videos available free that you can find linked at http://ajmahari.com

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Are You Living a Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder?

The fear of abandonment is one of the biggest and most common issues a Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) sufferer has to deal with constantly.

Even in mild borderline patients this abandonment fear is a common thing.

Some sufferers may feel overwhelmed and discouraged by this unrelenting sensation of fear which can make one feel like he or she lives in a hellhole where nobody gives their attention and understanding. This is the reason why most of the borderline sufferers engage in impulsive and self-harming behaviors to, on the one hand make them feel something, and on the other hand to try to get others' attention and support.

These are common issues in borderline patients and there are many people who have to face them all around the world despite the appearance of rarity of this disorder.

Specific environmental factors were found to be responsible for the occurrence of borderline personality, which consists of abuses (sexual, physical, or emotional), neglect, coldness, lack of communication and empathy, emotional blackmail, especially from parents but also from peers and friends in one's childhood or adolescence. This fear of abandonment can be triggered by these negative parental attitudes, sometimes doubled by fear of punishment, neglect, or the fear of intentional wrongdoing from others directed to him or her.

Quite often borderline people have dependent attitudes and behaviors toward others, but this fear of abandonment can sometimes lead one to do certain things which will repel the family members or friends at the smallest interpretation of their desertion.

There is a higher vulnerability in women to develop borderline personality most likely as a consequence of their more sensitive nature, and also as a result of their fragile physic which is easier to be exploited by abusive parents or peers.

Also a mild inability to modulate emotions and behaviors can be found, which leads to fast mood shifts and impulsive behavior.

The good news is that there are new scientific discoveries and new therapies which can help BPD sufferers to gain back their happiness and balance. These therapies are efficient if the patient is dedicated and perseverant in applying the knowledge and strategies in his or her every day life to get over borderline personality and the fear of abandonment. These changes are possible and your gain in personal satisfaction will be tremendous and your family members and your friends will seek your company more often as well.

Borderline Personality abandonment fear can be treated successfully thanks to new efficient psychological intervention protocols. Educating yourself about these psychotherapies is the first step toward your total recovery.

And the most important think I can leave you with is that BPD can be treated.

By the way, do you want to find out more about Borderline Personality Disorder, like symptoms, causes, prevalence, associated disorders, treatment options, as well as tips and techniques you can use immediately?

If so, download my free ebook "Surviving The Hellhole - Borderline Personality Disorder Facts and Treatment Options": TheBorderlineTreatment.com.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Solved

Bipolar Disorder Triggers - 5 Things You Need to Avoid to Help Keep Your Moods Stable

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition that is characterized by alternating bouts of mania and depression. People who have bipolar disorders often experience a cyclic change in their energy levels and feelings; ranging from sudden bursts of liveliness and happiness to unprovoked episodes of weakness and sadness. In extreme cases, bipolar disorders manifest psychotic symptoms of delusion and hallucination. This will later on lead to progressive deterioration of the conscious psyche and end up with a person's derailment from reality. Nevertheless, bipolar disorder is a controllable condition. Further aggravation of the mental state may be avoided given the proper precautions

1.) Cut down on caffeine intake. Caffeine is a stimulant. Without proper regulation, it will tip off the balance in your mood and physical processes. It will make it difficult for you to sleep at night, and consequently make you more emotionally and mentally labile. Chocolate, chocolate byproducts, coffee, tea, sodas, colas, and energy drinks all contain caffeine. There are some pastries too that have high levels of caffeine in them. Try to minimize your consumption of these fares.

2.) Keep healthy and well-balanced interpersonal relationships. Nothing can stimulate this mood disorder better than a fiery argument. Suicidal ideations often come about after heated discussions and disappointing experiences. So make sure to keep things light between your friends, family and loved ones. Don't be too serious about things; otherwise, you'll loose touch on how to handle failure. Look out for yourself more. If you think the people you're with are no good for your health, then might as well stay away. Be with those who understand your condition and are able to accept your varying temperament.

3.) Stay calm. If you easily get frustrated over trivial things, then you will more likely experience a greater number of mood shifts per day than if you're not. So my advice is to stay calm and collected. If troubles come your way, pause for a moment and breath. Don't react right away. Give your mind time to think things over. The mood instability caused by bipolar disorder may prompt you to hurt people when you are irritated or angry. So you must endeavor to stay composed all of the time. The last thing you want is a lawsuit on your hands. It might be difficult at first. But if you make a habit to delay negative reaction, then you will get to control your mood swings.

4.) Be prepared for surprises. There are several environmental factors that can trigger bipolar disorders. Time, weather, people, places, insects; I mean, the list goes on and on. And these are things you cannot control. So learn to accept whatever comes your way and be prepared for the world's surprises. Like when you are on the road and traveling, don't be bothered if your car breaks down, or if there are no restrooms on the way. Mentally and emotionally condition yourself before you embark on potentially stressful situations and you'll feel more relieved and relaxed knowing that it's all out of your control, and all you can do about it is adapt.

5.) This last guideline is applicable for friends and relatives of people with bipolar disorder. Don't get caught in a bad conversation. When in a depressive episode, people afflicted with bipolar disorder will consistently argue that they are misunderstood, or that their life has no purpose, or that the world is unfair, so on and so forth. As someone who is concerned, all you can do as of the moment is to hear out their complaints. Listening is the most therapeutic way to go about the conversation. Do not argue, for your sake and for your loved one's sake. Now, if you think that it is leading to a bad place, then directly talk to the person about his or her condition and explain how it is making him or her feel that way. Stop trying to achieve normalcy. With bipolar disorder, you have to handle a person extra specially and extra carefully.

I suggest that you visit Borderline Personality Disorder Solved for more information about handling the situation.

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Bipolar Epidemiology - Case Results of the Relationship Between Bipolar and Borderline Personality

In the year of 2006, a bipolar study was released in the July issue of the popular magazine called "The American Journal of Psychiatry" that covered the relationship between borderline personality and bipolar disorder. The bipolar epidemiology established the fact that these two conditions typically do not coincide with one another.

There were one hundred ninety six individuals involved in the study that had borderline personality. Out of these people, there were only thirty seven that actually had both bipolar disorder and borderline personality. All in all, it was established that up to 20% of all borderline personalities do develop bipolar, but this is a low percentage overall.

What is Borderline Personality?

Individuals that have borderline personality disorder suffer from a severe type of mental illness. The sufferer of this condition often exhibits behaviors and moods that are considered to be unstable. It has been established that at least two percent of all adults suffer from this condition. It is diagnosed more among women than it is in men. Patients that suffer from this condition are believed to suffer from irregularities as far as their emotions are concerned.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

This condition is often referred to as an illness called "manic-depression". Individuals that suffer from this condition do experience shifts in their moods. The energy level of the person may be extremely enhanced or decreased. When exhibiting symptoms, a person will experience either a manic episode or a depressive episode. The manic episode will consist of symptoms such as happiness, excitement or inflated self-esteem.

Individuals that experience depressive episodes will experience depression, low self-esteem, and may possibly even consider suicide as a solution. While these two conditions are similar to one another, the bipolar epidemiology has concluded that these two conditions regularly exist independent of one another.

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About the Author: Anne Ahira is an established entrepreneur and successful coach in her country of Indonesia. Her success story has been published in many nationwide publications in Indonesia.

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Borderline Personality Disorder - Things You Need To Know!

What are the symptoms of BPD?

Individuals with BPD have several of the following symptoms:

marked mood swings with periods of intense depression, irritability, and/or anxiety lasting a few hours to a few days;

inappropriate, intense, or uncontrolled anger;

impulsiveness in spending, sex, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving, or binge eating;

recurring suicidal threats or self-injurious behavior;

unstable, intense personal relationships with extreme, black and white views of people and experiences, sometimes alternating between "all good" idealization and "all bad" devaluation;

marked, persistent uncertainty about self-image, long term goals, friendships, and values;

chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness; and

frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined.

What causes BPD?

The causes of BPD are unclear, although psychological and biological factors may be involved. Originally thought to "border on" schizophrenia, BPD also appears to be related to serious depressive illness. In some cases, neurological disorders play a role. Biological problems may cause mood instability and lack of impulse control, which in turn may contribute to troubled relationships. Difficulties in psychological development during childhood, perhaps associated with neglect, abuse, or inconsistent parenting, may create identity and personality problems. More research is needed to clarify the psychological and/or biological factors causing BPD. The field is also actively looking at genetic vulnerabilities.

How is BPD treated?

A combination of psychotherapy and medication appears to provide the best results for treatment of BPD. Medications can be useful in reducing anxiety, depression, and disruptive impulses. Relief of such symptoms may help the individual deal with harmful patterns of thinking and interacting that disrupt daily activities.

Long-term outpatient psychotherapy and group therapy (if the individual is carefully matched to the group) can be helpful. Short-term hospitalization may be necessary during times of extreme stress, impulsive behavior, or substance abuse. More structured cognitive interventions like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are now widely used.

Can other disorders co-occur with BPD?

Yes. Determining whether other psychiatric disorders may be involved is critical. BPD may be accompanied by serious depressive illness (including bipolar disorder), eating disorders, and alcohol or drug abuse. About 50 percent of people with BPD experience episodes of serious depression. At these times, the "usual" depression becomes more intense and steady, and sleep and appetite disturbances may occur or worsen. These symptoms, and the other disorders mentioned above, may require specific treatment. A neurological evaluation may be necessary for some individuals.

What medications are prescribed for BPD?

Antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and the new atypical antipsychotics are common for BPD. Decisions about medication use should be made cooperatively between the individual and the therapist or psychiatrist. Issues to be considered include the person's willingness to take the medication as prescribed, and the possible benefits, risks, and side effects of the medication, particularly the risk of overdose.

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Borderline Treatment - Can I Get Help?

Think the world is all black or white? Good or Bad? Having relationship issues because of your fear of abandonment? You may have BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. You may even need Borderline Treatment!

Don't PANIC!

You'll be delighted to know that real help for BPD is readily available online. There are many great content sites and other self-help forums as well as e-books, articles and published guides for quick & permanent help.

Many people have an unfounded fear of Borderline Treatment or?BPD Treatment, and the reasons I believe stem from many, many years of no information and/or bad information.

Let's set the record straight right now. YOU CAN BE HELPED! Not only by trained psychologists, and medications but by the many, many online sites devoted to BPD. These range from information and diagnosis to reviews, sales and forums for getting the immediate and genuine kind of help you need right now.

My wife has had this since a child and always thought she was either crazy or going to be really soon. Her parents, like most who foster this problem in their children, were busy professionals who didn't want her in their way, treated her abusively and often unloaded her on relatives so they could get away on weekend trips and other social commitments. She began to develop separation anxiety and a host of other fears about herself and the world at large.

This disorder, though mild by clinical standards,?had affected both of us and our marriage in tremendous ways. I could never predict when her bragging on me would turn to?hating everything about me! I'd see her think that others hated her or loved her and bounce between the two like a yo-yo. If she separated from friends or loved ones for more than a day or so, she'd feel so disconnected that she'd nearly have to start the relationship over from scratch to assure herself that they were genuine friends and not enemies.

We discovered through marriage counseling about BPD. We've been blessed in our borderline treatment sessions by our counselor who understands this condition and has led us to many fine self-help?books and other?tools for defusing and lessening the severity of this disorder.

We still have our occasional struggles, but the duration and intensity of the conflicts have lessened a lot and now we'll even laugh about our behaviors from time to time! Talk about progress!

I never thought it could happen: tranquility, peace of mind, companionship and tenderness. These were aspects of life that would elude my marriage forever. But treatment of borderline people has come out of the closet and is currently a highly effective and lasting method that needn't cost a fortune in endless clinical sessions. We're here to guide and direct your knowledge of the resources available so you can make an informed and timely decision of the best solution for you.

I'm a spouse of a BPD that has had symptoms ranging from moderate to mild for the 20 odd years we've been married. Odd is a good word for our early marriage but we've together worked through the toughest parts of self-rehab and now can even laugh at ourselves! I'll be sharing our methods and resources on the blog listed here:

[http://www.eborderlinetreatment.com]

[http://www.eborderlinetreatment.com/borderline-treatment/if-you-need-borderline-treatment-dont-panic]

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Abandonment Issues for Dissociative Trauma Survivors with DID/MPD or Borderline Personality Disorder

Abandonment is such a tender issue for trauma survivors. Most survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/MPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) have had more than their fair share of genuine abandonment instances.

For severe trauma survivors, abandonment would have been experienced over and over in various situations:

Each time your parents or caregivers turned a blind eye to the sexual abuse or physical abuse that was occurring to you right there in your own household
Each time your parents or caregivers abandoned their role of safety and became the perpetrator of your abuse
Each time your parents or caregivers ignored your physical needs, leaving you to be hungry, cold, unkempt, improperly dressed, neglected in any way
Each time your parents or caregivers handed you over to someone else that was physically or sexually abusing you
Each time your parents or caregivers left you alone for extended periods of time, leaving you to tend to your own care when you were too young to be taking care of yourself by yourself
Each time your parents or caregivers refused to give you proper medical attention or medical treatment
Each time your parents or caregivers ignored your pleas or cries for help, turning a deaf ear, and leaving you to deal with your crisis without their assistance

For survivors with DID, these kinds of instances of abandonment happened on a frequent basis. All too many survivors were abandoned on a weekly basis, and for some people, on a daily basis.

How does this kind of abandonment affect people?

Excessive, repeated, severe abandonment teaches survivors to not trust. It teaches that other people cannot be counted on. It teaches them that they are alone in the world. It makes them believe that no one will help, or no one will be there for them.

What's worse, it gives deeper emotional messages to the survivors, drilling in feelings about worthlessness, unworthiness, unimportance, having no value, being bad, being stupid, being invisible. It eliminates and destroys any self-esteem the survivor could develop.

It creates a deep-seated anger, an ongoing emptiness, a constant sense of isolation.

It scars the heart and pierces the soul.

How can survivors of extreme abandonment recover from such emotional wounding?

First of all, to heal from extreme abandonment, it is important to realize and understand that your parents and caregivers were truly in the wrong for neglecting your needs. When parents and caregivers make such huge mistake in their roles of tending to children, the mistake belongs to them. It is not a message about the child, it is a message about the parent.

Parents are wrong, sometimes criminally wrong, legally wrong, in some of their abandoning behaviors. Do not assume that your parents were "right" in their abandoning behaviors. They were very likely doing something wrong.

Once a survivor truly hears and understands the fact that their parents and caregivers are responsible for the improper treatment of a child, then that survivor can begin their own path for healing.

But healing from abandonment is not easy. The wounds went deep into your core existence, and overcoming that level of emotional wounding takes a lot of time and repeated effort.

Some of the steps involved in healing from abandonment are:


Remembering again and again that the abandonment was not your fault
Remembering again and again that you are not a bad person because your parents or caregivers committed crimes against you
Learning that while some people are criminals, not all people are criminals, meaning, while your parents were willing to abandon you to such a huge degree, not all people will act in the same manner
Learning to trust again, ever so slowly, little bit by bit. Dare to try. Dare to reach out. Dare to build relationships.
Finding people, even if only one or two, that you can build meaningful relationships with
Being a trustworthy, reliable person so that other people will develop trust in you
Addressing your anger issues at the true offenders of your pain. If you go "on the attack" to people that make small errors in your relationship (while refusing to address your feeling at your parents or caregivers who committed grave errors), then you will find yourself alone time and time again. Work hard at showing the appropriate amount of anger equal to the level of the mistake. Going overboard at people in the current day will not be helpful.
Working really really hard at separating the issues that belong to people in your past versus attributing your pain to people in your current day world
Develop relationships with pets or animals if you are too scared to trust people. Building connections with another living being, where you each rely on each other, is a great starting place
Remembering and realizing that safe people will come back to you time and time again, unless you do something to push them away over and over again. You can keep good people in your life if you want to.
Finding little treasures / trinkets / small reminders of people to help you maintain that sense of object permanence. Out of sight does not mean that they are gone from your life.
Working on extended your comfort zone in terms of how often you need to hear from someone in order to feel secure in that relationship. Repeated contact, vs. excessive contact, is an acceptable way to maintain relationships.
Finding safe but creative ways of building relationships. For example, if you are afraid to meet with people face-to-face, build online relationships. Use an online therapist or an online support group as a starting place. Connect through blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Abandonment is painful, but it is still possible to build positive and healthy relationships with other people. It will take consistent work on your part to overcome the negative, damaging teachings given to you by neglectful parents and poor caregivers, but you can do it.

Unless you really want to be alone, you don't have to be left alone anymore.

Kathy Broady, LCSW
Clinical Director
http://www.AbuseConsultants.com
http://www.SurvivorForum.com

About the author: Kathy Broady has worked with adults, teenagers, and children with emotional pain and survivors of trauma and abuse for over 20 years. Her specialties are with trauma, dissociative disorders, severe sexual abuse, depression, bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, and self-injury. Individual and group sessions are available both online and in-person. Yes, online therapy has many benefits and is a creative solution for many therapeutic needs! With competence, gentle compassion, patience, and understanding, she can assist you with your healing journey. I assure you, her understanding of complex family dynamics and abuse issues far exceeds the norm.

Check out Kathy Broady's WordPress blogs: Discussing Dissociation and Protective Parenting.

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Three Ready-To-Use Steps for Coping With Borderline Personality Disorder

If you suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder than you are probably trying to find out a few effective coping strategies in order to alleviate your suffering and pain.

To start with, borderline personality has a specific trait which differentiates it from other mental disorders. It is the fear of abandonment or punishment from other significant individuals to us, especially those who have an authority or influence.

This fear of being left alone stems in the childhood years or adolescence when one faces negative attitudes and behaviors from parents or significant relatives like ill-treatment, abuse, physical or emotional neglect, or disrespect. If parental divorce completes this home picture, chances are getting high toward developing borderline personality.

So the necessity to identify and realize the mental and emotional elements in for instance an anger episode is important.

Why?

Because if you know what causes your pain and problems, you will also know what do you need to do in order to counter the negative effects, and to design the optimal strategies for your betterment.

Secondly you need to understand why are you having these perception on others and reality. Is your perception correct or is it biased?

For instance our brain uses past experiences and models in order to interpret and classify present information and experiences. So if you were abused, neglected, or ill-treated during your childhood or adolescence, there is a high chance that you will feel today abandoned or unfairly punished even if objectively there is no such thing.

Intriguing, isn't it?

But you have nothing to worry about because the effects of the deprecating childhood encounters, as well as the associated emotional and behavioral reactions from today can be changed and re-learned through specific techniques and strategies.

Which brings us to the third step, consisting of two phases..

The first phase is to determine the self-deprecating beliefs present in your subconscious. They emerge as a consequence of the deprecating experiences from young hood. These negative beliefs are among the main reasons of borderline personality.

After finding these beliefs, you need to change the unhealthy emotions and the behaviors with new healthy and helpful ones.

Learning all these new self-beliefs, emotions, and behaviors are possible with specific techniques and persistence.

Coping with Borderline Personality!

And by the way, you don't need to suffer from borderline personality anymore and turn the internet upside down in order to find effective coping strategies. I have a free ebook you can download and read in a matter of seconds: Surviving The Hellhole!

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Borderline Personality Disorder

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is also sometimes called manic depression. It is a psychiatric condition that affects a person's mood swings. These so called episodes happen at a random pattern. A person might be manic for a couple of days or even weeks, then get so depressed in the following moments after being so hyped up. It really depends on the severity of the case. Three out of every 100 Americans have this type of disorder. So, if you are from the country of the blue, white, and red, you might know somebody that has this psychiatric condition.

I'm a guy, and I have a girlfriend. The closest experience I probably ever had to a manic depression attack was when I was bringing my girlfriend back to her place after a wonderful dinner. She was so happy in the car, even singing to the music played on the radio. I told her that after I bring her home, I'm going over to a friend's house to attend a small party. I will never forget that moment because after I told her where I was headed after I drop her off, she never spoke another word to me for the next 3 days. She slammed the door on her way out and never looked back. Leaving me to ponder on my actions the rest of the way to my friend's house, this took about 15 minutes. It was the longest 15 minutes of my life.

I am not telling guys not to have a girlfriend because that is clearly not what I'm talking about. I was merely stating an experience that one might have when dealing with a person that has bipolar order. No, my girlfriend is not mentally unstable.

So, how do you deal with a person that has ben diagnosed with manic depression?

Family and friends play an important role in the treatment of bipolar disorder. They are there for the support, encouragement, and all the love that they could give.

What should you do if you discover that you have manic disorder? There are a couple of self help tips that you could get from the internet.

You could also opt for the professional approach. There are a couple of drugs that help reduce the onset of depression attacks. There is also psychotherapy. But it costs money and you have to talk to a shrink. And in my opinion, paying money is okay but not talking to a psychologist. And I would feel worse than depressed if I did both. So, if you think you are sick, choose your options wisely. Use Google!

Well, I suggest that you visit Borderline Personality Disorder to learn more about handling your loved one's overcome their disorders today!

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Borderline Personality Disroder and Psychotherapy

Many treatments have been discovered and are still being discovered on how to cure Borderline Personality Disorder. But experts say there is no really cure for this abnormality. What they could only do for the person is to generally teach him/her and his support group how to handle his/her disorder. One treatment that could help a person with BPD is psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy is a kind of treatment where interpersonal relationships are built between a trained psychotherapist and his client. This will help a client be aided with his problems in living. So how do they do this? They do it through constant dialogue. But be not mistaken to think that this is only exclusive for a one-on-one conversation only because the psychotherapist could be creative in doing this dialogue. This could also be made with groups. This intends to increase the well-being of an individual which leads to the improvement of a client's mental health.

Now, how can psychotherapy help aid a client with Borderline Personality Disorder? When doing psychotherapy, as was stated earlier, this can be done with groups. This group will serve as the support system of the client.

The support group of the client could be in the form of family, friends and/or relatives. They will help overcome issues regarding self worth since they will be the one who will strengthen the client and assure that he/she really can do things and that he/she has to lean on to no matter what.

Jessica Suarez has spent years on the study on Borderline Personality Disorder, and has written books on BPD treatments.

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Find Out The Causes Of Borderline Personality Disorder Abandonment

Is Borderline Personality Disorder Abandonment a mystery to you and trying to understand its causing factors?

To begin with, BPD is a mental disorder which means that it is determined by the unhelpful ways we see and interpret ourselves and others.

And much of these perception patterns are learned from significant other persons like our parents, caregivers, teachers, lovers, friends, or superiors.

We are mostly unaware of these perception patterns because we learn them unconsciously from others.

This also means by the way that they can be replaced through the same process of learning and habit creation.

Now let's move on to the causing reasons of borderline personality disorder abandonment.

In BPD, probably the most central motive concerning its causes is represented by certain invalidating early life encounters.

When we born we come to this world with a few basic emotional and mental needs which nature made us to rely on our parents or caregivers to be fulfilled.

Such needs are care, love, affection, respect, and bonding.

Now not all of us were born in ideal families, so when these needs are not met for long time periods, the child concludes unconsciously that he or she is an unworthy person and it is very possible for others to act the same way with him as his/her parents or caregivers.

Leading to the feeling of abandonment, which is actually an abandonment of his/her emotional and mental needs.

So since this abandonment appeared in a relationship with significant people, it will manifest when relating and interacting with other significant ones.

For example, a BPD with abandonment fear will be needy and submissive in one moment, than furious, abusive, and rejecting the next.

Why someone who is afraid of being abandoned will behave in ways that will make others do just that?

The reason is that BPDs are extremely sensitive to any little things, acts, and cues that may indicate abandonment from others. So when in the sufferer's mind this becomes a certainty, even if in reality it isn't, they are facts which confirm his/her reasons to be afraid of being abandoned.

Which is unbearable, thus the quick mood shifts and impulsive behaviors.

Since usually the conclusion of abandonment is not sustained in reality, it means that the tendency to draw such conclusions is acquired through learning. And it can be replaced with new healthy and helpful tendencies through learning and repetition.

As an example, next time when you will perceive abandonment or punishment from a dear person of yours, wait for a moment and try analyzing if your conclusion is sustained in the outside reality. You will most probably discover that the other one was trying to make a point or to discuss something with you.

Learn to see things from others' perspective as well and you will soon discover that not everyone is trying to harm you.

By the way, if you want to find out more about BPD and its treatment options, I recently wrote an eBook I want you to have for free. Click here for download: "Surviving The Borderline Hellhole".

And if you want to learn more about BPD, go here: Borderline Personality Disorder Abandonment!

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A Borderline Lesbian Love!

Are you in a relationship with a woman and find yourself asking questions (often) like "Why did she hurt me?","How did I get involved with her?" and "Why does she act that way? Do you feel like your relationship is out of control and that every move you make has the butterfly effect, provoking a hurricane minutes later?

About 6 million people in America have Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), most of them are women. If you are in a relationship with a woman with BPD, their behavior is affecting you. Women with BPD are often described as emotionally or verbally abusive, manipulative, deceitful, invalidating, demanding, lacking in empathy, moody, self-harming (use drugs/alcohol, and/or sexually impulsive), illogical, unfair, self-absorbed, and abusive towards children. Now this is important, you do not have to have all of these to have this disorder. There needs to be enough of an influence of these traits to cause chaos in your life and relationships.

A diagnosis can be given by a trained mental health professional if you decided to know if have this disorder or if you are with a partner that may be affected by these character traits. Like most disorders it is manageable, just like diabetes, however it requires treatment and becoming aware of symptoms and coping skills.

Most Borderlines are a powerful force and provoke fear in a relationship. Woman who love a borderline feel "brainwashed" by their partner's accusations and criticisms. They will make you feel helpless, isolated, get you to doubt what you know and feel, wear you down, and keep you on your toes (in a scary way!). If you are feeling like this and you want to regain control of your life and make better decisions you should go and talk to someone experienced with the disorder.

In our community of women we are bound to bump into a lady affected by BPD (it affects more women then men remember!). We can not always help who we fall in love with, but we can have the knowledge and power to protect ourselves and the wisdom to walk away. Some loves are not worth the pain, unfortunately, sometimes being healthy means knowing what is good for you and feeling the pain of letting go. If you choose to stay in such a relationship, than knowing what triggers certain emotions in you and your partner can help you to better manage the interaction in your relationship.

Borderline personalities have predictable behavior patterns (it's all about the pattern!), which stem out of nine traits found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), as well as false beliefs. Understanding how your partner's emotions and behaviors affect you, how you react and how it in turn effects your partner will give light into the cycle of your relationship. Some patterns to look for:

Extreme Projecting- they attribute their own lack of self-worth unto someone else. Saying things like "I'm not controlling, you are!" "Stop screaming at me" and "You always treat me like shit."

Splitting- Everything is black and white or good and bad. If you're not with them then you are against them, and that can mean war!
Everything is your fault. It is a pouring of continual blame and criticism. If you are saying "I cannot do anything right!" you have been sucked in.
My needs are more important. Everything is about them and if you do what they need then everything will be good for you. They will go above and beyond for their own needs to be met.
I win, you lose, or no one wins! Basically damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Keep your distance! No, I mean get a little closer (this one will drive you crazy!) I want you close but feel worthless and afraid if you find out I need you (no this is not freaking charming). The love you/ I hate you game will wear you down like sandpaper on rope.
Verbal Abuse: domination, assaults, abusive expectations, unpredictable responses, denial, and CHAOS. "I'm telling you this to make you a better person!"
Emotional Blackmail- they are masters at manipulation, that's why boundaries are going to be important in developing a healthy cycle.

This is just the surface of the information available to you. There are a lot of resources and information out there. Unfortunately, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) people are at greater risk of mental health disorders and suicidal behavior, this could be due partly from prejudice, social stress, social shame about sexuality, and lack of support. This is why as a community we need to reinforce support, resource, and communication amongst ourselves. Some resources available are: Oz online community for LGBT family members with a Borderline Loved One and the book series Stop Walking on Eggshells.

In addition, this is not about judging a woman affected by BPD but it is about making healthier choices (hopefully in the pursuit of happiness). The more knowledge you have of your environment the better decisions can be made for yourself and your family. We all have rights, personal rights, make sure you take a moment to recognize them and make decisions not to avoid pain in the short-term but to find health, love and happiness in the long-term.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

Follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

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Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know? He Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Having read the autobiography of George, Lord Byron, there is no doubt in my mind that he was indeed, as Lady Caroline Lamb is purported to have described him, 'mad, bad and dangerous to know'. Possibly he was bad; he was certainly noticeably and repeatedly self-centred, and there are reports of his having been less than generous to people who deserved better. No doubt he was dangerous to know, breaking the hearts of men and women including, reputedly, his half-sister Augusta. But he definitely wasn't mad. Nearer Lady Lamb's description would be the fictional character so beautifully crafted by Emily Bronte; Heathcliff. His complete inability to empathise with others, his recorded cruelty to animals - seemingly spurred on by nothing more than morbid curiosity and, of course, his lifelong obsession with one person, Cathy. Granted, Heathcliff isn't a real, flesh and blood person with a mind to analyse but, if he were, and based on the characteristic described in Wuthering Heights, I would suggest he had Borderline Personality Disorder.

It would be unfair to claim that Emily Bronte romanticised her hero. In fact I believe her intention, as suggested by those who know far more about the subject than I do, was to portray Catherine and Hinton as the happy couple to be admired and emulated by her readers. Wayward bunch that we are, most of us prefer the dramatic, headstrong and passionate Cathy and her apparently devoted Heathcliff. However, their story is fictional. In reality Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) is a mental health condition and comprises of an extremely demanding set of symptoms to cope with; whether you have BDP yourself or you live with someone who does. There are a range of behaviours listed under the classification for BDP, the assertion that the symptoms are difficult to accept is a generalisation based on the reasoning that whichever the symptoms are displayed are both challenging and constant.

Dark, brooding heroes, continually obsessing over their loved one, is a nice fantasy. As long as it remains a state of being that we don't actually have to live with, day in day out, year after year, it can seem almost flattering to be the object of such focus. It isn't flattering; it is tiring, and draining and, on the whole, extremely negative. Not only does the assumed idol get put on a pedestal and admired, they are also blamed for everything. And I do mean everything; the news, the rain, people talking on the bus, complete strangers laughing together. Paranoia is one of the most common characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). As is the case with many mental health classifications, it isn't so much that the behaviours themselves are uncommon, but the extent to which they are evidenced in certain people is extreme. When behaviour affects everyday life then it becomes classifiable.

People with BPD can be excessively demanding, so tend not to have a wide circle of friends because of that. Unfortunately, this means that the chosen one tends to have a heavier load to carry than might otherwise be the case. Living with someone with BPD doesn't mean that you are adored and worshipped; rather you are the chief whipping boy, the scapegoat. There is nothing fictional about BPD, and there is nothing romantic about living with it.

The bottom line is that mean and moody fictional heroes are fascinating; living with a volatile, illogical person continually demanding your complete attention is considerably less so. When a member of your family or a dear friend develops mental health issues, of course we all do as much for them as possible. But if you meet someone new, someone wild and exciting who your friends and family are warning you about then it isn't necessarily a romantic case of star-crossed lovers. So, before you willingly get involved with someone who appears to only need the love of a good woman, or man, someone 'mad, bad and dangerous to know', just think about it first. It might save you the pain of a doomed relationship.

Lynda Fernandez
http://www.LyndaFernandez.blogspot.com

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Looking After Medication for Borderline Personality?

Is Borderline Personality disorder making your life unbearable and looking after medication?

Medication is widely used not only for medical conditions but also in mental disorders illnesses and diseases.

Yes, you read that right. There is a basic difference between a mental illness and a mental disease which is often misunderstood, even by professionals.

The term mental illness represents a mental condition caused by a physical and/or physiological deficiency of the brain. Examples of such mental illnesses are schizophrenia, epilepsy, retardation, or learning and language problems.

However a mental disorder is also a mental condition but caused by cognitive and emotional factors. Examples of mental disorders are anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and personality disorders.

Although the symptoms can be very similar in both mental conditions, their backgrounds are completely different and they need to be addressed accordingly in order to really make a difference.

Consequently you need to understand how drugs work and how personality is represented in the brain in order to understand if medication is going to really help with borderline personality.

No matter the personality, good or less good, is basically a set of information processing patterns, attitudes, and general beliefs regarding the self, others, and the world we live in.

All these are informational data we use automatically and unaware as parts of the basic aspects of the self, our personality.

These informational datas are accumulated by the brain in the form of synapses, physical connections between prolongations of nerve cell bodies.

So synapses are created as new experiences and information we face are stored in the brain.

Moving on, let's see how medication works and if it can really make a difference to your borderline personality.

We all know that basically medical drugs are chemical substances.

When a pill enters our body, the chemical substances it contains will be distributed evenly to all cells by the blood stream. In the brain these substances will make the effects we are looking for (e.g. calmness, less anxiety, less depression etc) by changing the natural bio-chemical balance and not by "rewiring" the synapses.

The brain requires new information and experiences to rewire its synapses, thus modeling a new personality.

Consequently the medication will be eliminated after a while so in order to maintain the effects a regular intake of the medication is required, which can almost certainly lead to addiction.

So medication is not addressing the real causes of borderline personality disorder, but merely masking the symptoms by adding more problems on the long run.

You should take psychotropic medication only prescribed and supervised by your physician or psychiatrist. It is advisable to use drugs only if your mental disorder is impending seriously your daily routine or the psychological treatment.

Usually prescribed medications are anxiolytics and antidepressants, but please remember, don't take them without visiting your doctor.

Cognitive restructuring is what functions the best in mental disorders since they act directly on the real causes of borderline personality, the unhealthy thinking patterns which are ultimately represented by neural synapses.

If you want to know more about Borderline Personality as well as what can you do immediately to get you better and not merely make you feel better, I have a book titled: Surviving The Hellhole! And the best part is that it is free! Get it now!

Learn more about medication and borderline personality: Borderline Personality Medication!

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Perfect Match - The Narcissist Marries a Borderline Personality

When a narcissist chooses a marital partner, he/she makes sure that this person will adoringly follow his lead in every aspect of their lives. The narcissist expects to be mirrored perfectly---to receive from his partner: absolute loyalty, adulation, compliance, selfless service. There is an unspoken understanding that the narcissist will never admit mistakes, nor should his faults and failings ever be pointed out, even in the vaguest of terms. Narcissists often choose marital partners who suffer from borderline personality disorder. These individuals are emotionally dependent and have a fragile sense of themselves as valuable individuals. The narcissist is the master; the borderline, the servant. That is the arrangement. The partner will be constantly lied to and betrayed. The narcissist holds the threat over the head of his borderline spouse that he or she can be disposed of precipitously

The individual suffering from borderline personality disorder lives in perpetual fear of abandonment and psychological annihilation. Borderlines fuse psychologically with others, often to the point where they are emotionally unable to distinguish between their identity and that of their partner. This grave psychological impediment is described as a boundary issue. Psychological boundaries are necessary for each person to have a firm sense of who he is and to distinguish and respect the individuality of the other. The borderline has not reached this stage of development, often due childhood trauma. His growth was arrested. Inside, he feels like a very young child, desperately hanging on, begging a parent to pay attention to him, to promise not to hurt or abandon him again. The borderline suffers from a fragile sense of self and feelings of worthlessness. They are emotionally dependent on others and have poor impulse control. Some of these individuals go through periods of delusional thought and paranoia, have psychotic breaks and end up in psychiatric hospitals. Higher level borderlines function quite well in the world despite their psychological dependencies and unconscious feelings of worthlessness and instability. Unlike the narcissist, the borderline is capable of feeling deeply for others and can be highly empathic.

This is a marriage made in Hades. The borderline acquiesces to the demanding, perfectionistic, self-entitled narcissist. Beneath the yoke of his psychological burden, the borderline despises his spouse the way he unconsciously hated his parents when he was a child. He repeats this pattern in adulthood, hoping to get the love and respect that he deserved so long ago. The borderline has come to the wrong place. He will not be accepted and loved for himself here. He will be exploited. Many borderline spouses stay with their abusive narcissistic mates because they are in so much psychological pain, suffer from low self esteem and are accustomed to being treated abusively. The cruelty of this marital arrangement mimics the familiar painful psychological patterns of childhood. The cycle continues until the narcissist decides to discard his current spouse for an updated, more attractive, compliant model. The used up spouse is ejected to fend for himself. The narcissist moves on to his next great excitement without memories or regret. For him, it's a relief: a one handed flick of a fly off the face.

Linda Martinez-Lewi holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a licensed marriage family therapist. She has extensive clinical training in narcissistic and borderline disorders. Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi is the author of the book "Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life."

Dr. Martinez-Lewi has worked for many years with patients experiencing psychological problems as a result of personal and professional relationships with narcissistic personality disorders. She has clinical experience treating patients suffering from childhood trauma, anxiety disorders, and depression.

Dr. Martinez-Lewi has been interviewed on numerous radio talk shows throughout the country.

Visit her website at: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

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3 Simple Ideas For Addressing Avoidant Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you struggling with Avoidant symptoms from Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD?

This avoidance stems from the powerful fear BPD sufferers feel from the perception of being abandoned or punished by others. These symptoms usually come together with negative self-attitudes which get triggered in certain circumstances.

Such self-attitudes and perceptions can lead one to an array of emotions like anxiety, shame, or anger, which in turn will be tried to be avoided in order to ease on the distress they bring along. Such a strategy could bear quick results on the short run, however it will usually dial up the fear and angry reaction afterwards, spinning one into a vicious cycle.

Thus you need to adopt new strategies which can render long-term results in order to ease on your avoidant tendency and borderline personality.

The first strategy you should try out is to face your fears with the next occasion because this is going to help you to come up with new ways of perceiving reality. In such situations our brain triggers an in-built mechanism called habituation which helps us get used with previously fearfully perceived stimuli.

With the next occasion to arise try to stop the manifestations of your emotions and just watch closely how things evolve. This could be challenging at the beginning since you were used to act instantly on your emotions, however you should really try this out since it has the potential of betterment for you. Consequently ask yourself if the fear you are feeling is based on reality or not? In other words, are you having realistic reasons to be afraid of being abandoned?

If you will find this step difficult, try to think for a moment what would your life be without this fear? How much more happier and how your relationships would be if you would liberate from this anguish and anxiety? Take in your hands the destiny of your life and be your boss, not your own emotional slave!

The second strategy you can try in order to overcome the avoidant attitudes and borderline personality is to find new ways of seeing the world instead of the dichotomous black and white pattern. It might be true that this thinking style was induced to you by your parents or entourage. Whichever your case, try to remember that the world we live in is rarely only black and white, and most of the times has a lot of "gray" shadows in it.

If you'll find this difficult at the beginning, look to persevere in your endeavor because your short and long term benefits will exceed by far your present struggle and anger.

The third strategy you should implement in your daily life is comprised by the breathing exercises combined with meditation. This exercise liberates all the stress and tension accumulated during the day, helping you to relax and calm down your mind and body. You will also discover hidden powers and energies within you to help you through the daily challenges. Also a calm and relaxed mind is significantly less prone to think in black and white only and is more opened to search for new ways of seeing and perceiving the world around. Try to keep you at doing this exercise at least once every day and, if done correctly, you should see improvements from day one in your avoidant attitudes and borderline personality.

And by the way, in order to overcome avoidance and borderline personality you should download my free ebook titled " Surviving The Hellhole ". It is packed with vital facts about BPD, as well as with free tips and strategies you can use right away to ease on your personality disorder.

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The 9 Most Frequent Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Is Borderline Personality Disorder affecting your private and professional life? Do you want to know more about the most frequent Symptoms associated with BPD?

Read on to unveil the nine most common manifestations of BPD!

1. Professional and lay opinions are talking about the most common feature of Borderline Personality Disorder, the fear of abandonment and punishment. These phobias have their roots in childhood or teenage years and stem from negative parent-child relationships characterized by abuse, coldness, rejection, or inconsistent parenting. If divorce comes along with these negative parenting styles, the possibility in the child to develop borderline personality in the young adult years becomes important.

2. This abandonment fear leads to frequent anger and fury episodes. Real or imaginary signs of rejection, disrespect, or maltreatment coming from others are interpreted as signs of abandonment through the lens of past experiences in the home environment.

3. The third most common symptoms in borderline personality are the rapid mood changes. These do not have to lead to anger outbursts with every occasion, however they are difficult to manage and control, thus making one to run into challenges in the everyday activities.

4. The fourth most common sign of borderline personality is the chronic sense of internal void. Some sufferers describe it very well as emotional or inner numbness. If left untreated this emotional state becomes stable and constant as a defensive response to the inner pain, anger, and distress.

5. Fifthly are coming the destructive or potentially destructive behaviors toward the self. Such behaviors can be compulsive shopping, sex, substance abuse like alcohol and drugs, or binge eating. These behaviors are intended to ameliorate negative emotions and distress on the short run, however they maintain and perpetuate the situation on long-term.

6. The sixth specific symptom in borderline personality is comprised by the impulsive behaviors or decisions. These are made without too much weighing and usually without considering the repercussions. Such behaviors may be sudden leaves from relationships, job resignation, or school abandonment and are followed by feelings of remorse or regrets and compensating or betterment attempts.

7. BPD individuals are also facing chaotic relationship mainly as a consequence of the abandonment dread. At the smallest hints or cues reactions of anger and fury are triggered which occasionally will deliver the very thing a BPD sufferer fears, the abandonment.

8. Unhealthy and unadaptive self-perceptions are also frequently found in borderline personality since they emerge in the first years of life. When love, understanding, affection, and bonding are missing in the parent-child relationship, these unhelpful and critique types of self-perceptions will come along.

9. Also as a consequence of the unsupported home environment, young adults will have a tendency to recurrently look back into their past. This tendency stems from a self-protecting mechanism of the brain which frequently reiterates past memories in order to protect the individual from present challenges. However this strategy reinforces the past fears instead of providing a real solution.

But the most important thing you need to remain with from this article is that Borderline Personality Disorder and its associated symptoms are treatable today if specific steps and new mentalities are accepted and implemented in everyday life.

More here about Borderline Symptoms!

And by the way I have put together a free ebook with the most essential things you need to know about Borderline Personality disorder and its associated symptoms, as well as with a number of quick and efficient tips and strategies to help you ease your emotional pain and relationship issues, whether you are the sufferer, your child, or your spouse/partner: "Surviving The Hellhole"!

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I Love You, I Hate You But Don't Go: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

It amazes me that 6-10 million Americans have been diagnosed with this isolating disorder. What's amazing about this is that not much is written about BPD much less talked about. Almost like there is a stigma attached to the very name.

The name Borderline Personality Disorder originated in 1938 by Adolph Stern. He was describing a group of patients that didn't quite fit an existing diagnosis; patients that were classified as past the neurotic stage but not quite psychotic. However these days this disorder is seen in a different way but the name BPD has stuck.

BPD is relatively common, affecting 10-14% of the general population. Women commonly suffer from depression more often than men and the frequency of BPD in women is two to three times greater than men. Nearly 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations stem from BPD.

While people that suffer with depression or bipolar disorder typically endure the same mood for several weeks at a time, a person with BPD can experience depression and anxiety that may last only an hour or at most, a day.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

o Impulsive aggression

o Self injury

o Strong feelings of anxiety

o Feelings of low self worth

o Drug or alcohol abuse

o Impulsive behaviors

o Feelings of being misunderstood

o Experience unstable relationships

Sometimes people suffering from BPD view themselves essentially as bad people or unworthy. This mood instability and poor self-image can bring on bouts of anger, eating disorders, panic attacks and anxiety. Very intense emotional turmoil appears to be a way of life for those afflicted by it.

However, often times a person with BPD can present as a bright, intelligent individual with a warm, friendly nature. They can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense mechanism breaks down, usually because of a very stressful situation like a relationship breakup or death of a loved one.

They may feel isolated and empty which may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone. People with BPD often formulate highly unstable relationship patterns. While their relationships with family and friends can be very intense their attitude can change dramatically and suddenly from great admiration and love to profound anger and distaste. Often times they will form an immediate attachment to another person but when even a slight conflict or separation occurs they shift suddenly to the other extreme and accuse the other person of not really caring about them at all. They are highly sensitive to any sign (real or imagined) of rejection and react quickly with anger and distress when their expectations are not met.

Over the years treatments for BPD have improved with group and individual psychotherapy at least partially effective for a great number of patients. Talking about present challenges and past experiences with an empathetic and accepting therapist on a consistent and regular basis has proven effective. Patients are encouraged to talk about their feelings rather than expel them in their usual self-defeating manner.

Sometimes medications such as antidepressants or lithium carbonate are helpful in treatment of BPD and brief hospitalization may be necessary during acutely stressful episodes or if self-destructive behavior threatens to erupt.

The goals of ongoing therapy and/or treatments would be to increase an individual's tolerance of anxiety as well as increase self awareness and build more stability into relationships. With increased self awareness and introspection, it is hoped that individuals with BPD will be able to change rigid patterns of behavior set earlier in life which in turn will help prevent these patterns from repeating themselves in future generations.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. As the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching, Lois acknowledges that each person is extraordinary in their own right and that having a personal coach will encourage and empower individuals to gain clairty and move forward to become their very best! To learn more about Discover Yourself Coaching, please follow the link to Lois's web site and remember to sign up for the monthly newsletters. [http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com]

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