Emotional Bullying in Borderline Personality Disorder

We usually think of bullies as big, scary men. We don't imagine that they could take the form of small, spiteful women. Most of us have observed that in grade school and high school, bullies come in both sexes, but we still tend to think of them as physically intimidating, physically threatening males.

In reality, there's a type of emotional bully who is far more dangerous and destructive than any physical one. The physical bully is usually a person who was bullied themselves as a child by someone bigger and stronger. They take out their hurt and angry feelings on peers who appear smaller and weaker than them. There are various effective ways of dealing with these types which I won't get into, here.

The emotional bully is a different creature. This person usually has a condition known as Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, which is characterized by a number of different signs and symptoms. Those with milder cases have terrible fears of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness and a habit of pushing away those who'd love or help them.

Those with a more severe and destructive form of the condition suffer from wide swings of mood, self-destructive behaviors, various addictions, excessive, uncontrollable anger and extreme touchiness. These people take offense at things which normal people would never consider to be a slight, and they are quick to exact vengeance.

Anyone who has had the misfortune of dealing with someone from the latter group knows how far this type of person will go in satisfying their need for revenge. Paradoxically, in their quest for so-called "justice" these Borderline individuals are the real ones causing damage, as opposed to the person who supposedly "wronged" them.

The word "Borderline" was originally used to describe this condition because some of the ideas these people entertain are so irrational and some of their beliefs are so unrealistic and rigidly fixed that they seem nearly psychotic. This condition, when severe, is considered to be on the borderline of insanity.

Individuals who have a milder version of the disorder can do very well in therapy. They can function fairly well in their lives and they tend not to make too much trouble for themselves or others. More severely affected individuals tend to be "trouble-makers" who engage in self-mutilation and/or interfere destructively in other people's lives.

They pit people against each-other, which is technically known as "splitting," and they cause a lot of suffering in the people they live and work with. They are manipulative, passive-aggressive, unreasonable, stubborn, erratic and highly impulsive. They get under people's skin. If you frequently find yourself talking with your co-workers about a colleague or supervisor who makes many of you incredibly angry and frustrated, this person most likely has Borderline Personality Disorder.

BPD individuals can be so full of rage that they go to extreme lengths to "punish" those who they feel have caused them some sort of offense. This can take the form of legal threats, attempts at blackmail, stalking and other types of harassment. The so-called offenses they are reacting to are virtually always imagined, but the angry, vengeful feelings of these disturbed individuals are very real.

Unfortunately, people with severe BPD are prone to keep escalating a situation if the other person tries to stand up for themselves. In their troubled mind, they perceive the person's self-defense as an offense against them. Sometimes, the best way of dealing with such an individual is to end all contact with them. This might mean changing jobs, moving to a new home or giving up certain hobbies or activities. It seems like a drastic response, but "Hell hath no fury like a Borderline scorned."

Our courts are burdened enough these days, and in reality, are vastly deficient when it comes to understanding and addressing the legal ramifications of mental disorders. Until such time as there are legal protections for the type of bullying and harassment that is so typical of the very ill BPD person, it's up to us to become less of a target to these people by withdrawing ourselves from contact with them and hoping that they don't keep pursuing their disturbed and destructive agenda.

Obviously, this is not to say that we shouldn't try to defend and protect ourselves from attacks to our safety and welfare, but that it's important to understand that individuals with BPD tend to be expert at using the legal system to their nefarious advantage. In their over-arching sense of vengeful entitlement they manipulate the legal system and use whatever legitimate and illegitimate means necessary to get back at those against whom they hold a grudge.

One consolation to their victims might be to recognize that people with severe BPD are deeply unhappy. They are incapable of forming normal, healthy attachments with others and their relationships are characterized by chronic conflict and frustration. They are constantly irritable and agitated but unable to soothe this malaise. They are as self-destructive as they are hurtful to others and they live lives of loneliness, alienation and meaninglessness.

If we are unfortunate enough to have had dealings with someone with a severe case of BPD, we can remind ourselves that however much they might have made us suffer, it was only temporary, whereas their unhappiness is never-ending. They are plagued by their paranoia, rage and vindictiveness. As much as I am wary of such individuals, I can't help but feel compassion for them, as one of the worst places to be in the universe is inside the troubled mind of someone with severe BPD.

(C) Marcia Sirota MD 2010

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Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy - DBT - To Treat Borderline Personality Disorder - BPD

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by impulsive actions, unstable moods, and problems having relationships with others. Many people suffering with it also have paranoid thoughts or complain of feeling "numb" or "spacey". Along with often suffering from severe mood swings, they are often uncertain about their identity and self-image. Sufferers of BPD find that it affects many areas of their lives including work, school, relationships and physical health. Sufferers often say they feel empty so some will cut or burn themselves "to feel something".

Dialectical behavior therapy is used by treatment with personality disorders. It was developed by Marsha Linehan, PhD. It is a type of psychotherapy that uses cognitive behavioral techniques with mindful awareness. Cognitive therapy focuses on thoughts and beliefs along with actions. It is the first therapy that has shown to be effective to treat Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dr. Lineman's theory is that the core issue in BPD is a combination of emotionally unstable environment as a child and emotional dis regulation. The goal of Dialectical Behavior Therapy is helping the patient to learn techniques that decrease emotional swings and unhealthy ways of coping with them when they do occur.

Using dialectical behavior therapy to treat patients with BPD involves helping the patient to develop skills for regulating emotions and also reducing the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. There are several components of the treatment. Supervision by therapists to provide support to the patient, individual therapy to help the patient realize the reasons for treatment, training to increase their capabilities, and to learn new skills in ways of coping with their feelings and emotions. Patients learn to assert their needs, manage relationships, how to handle upsetting factors that occur, and in general learning overall to observe and participate in life without labeling things "good" or "bad".

Even though it is now thought that Borderline Personality Disorder is contributed to by genetic factors and actual differences in the brain structure and functioning of the brain in some people Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the first cognitive therapy that has shown real improvement in people with Borderline Personality Disorders.

To learn more about treating borderline personality disorder (BPD), head on over to The Retreat at Sheppard Pratt, a world-renowned psychiatric hospital and online mental health resource. There you will find a wealth of information about all different disorders and treatments, including dialectical behavior therapy DBT.

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Divorcing Someone Who Suffers Borderline Personality Disorder

Some of the most emotionally abusive relationships and traumatic divorces involve the mentally ill. One of the most difficult of these mental illnesses is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because it is not easily diagnosed. Behaviors can range from extreme violence to subtle patterns of emotional blackmail and projection. On top of that, many Borderlines tend to live in denial, constantly avoiding their own feelings of emptiness, insecurity, anger, disappointment and fear that more often than not stems from an abusive childhood. It is hard to treat and help someone if they don't want to face their own abuse - abuse that they themselves suffered or the abuse that they themselves do.

Classifying Borderlines as "Acting In" or "Acting Out"

Not all borderlines are focused on harming others. Some are so busy with their own inner demons that they are trapped in a realm of substance abuse, suicide attempts, and self-hate that for most can be traced back to child abuse or neglect. They are often known as the "acting in" type. If this is the kind of Borderline in your life, count yourself lucky. That's because they are both more likely to recognize their own problems and work on them and less likely to focus on destroying other people in a desperate attempt to portray themselves as worthy people who are victims in need of assistance.

The other group of Borderlines, sometimes called the "acting out" group, are narcissistic sociopaths with little sense of guilt or remorse. They often have little limit to what they will do to make themselves "win" and you "lose" and don't care who else they hurt in the process. If you have been in a relationship with a person suffering Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), be aware that much of what is written about "acting out" Borderlines applies equally to Narcissists.

Blaming and Projection

A relationship with someone who suffers from BPD can leave the one being abused feeling confused and hopeless as they are often blamed for all the problems in the relationships, even including things they didn't do. Often, such blaming for fictional behaviors is a form of projection used to distract from the Borderline doing the exact thing she or he is accusing the partner of doing. For instance, your Borderline significant other may be having affairs, but you can be sure you will be accused of having affairs (even if you have never had one) long before he or she will admit to one. You may find that many of your friends and family will have heard about your fictional affairs long before you even realize your significant other has been lying about you far and wide. When you try to explain what is really happening, many will refuse to believe the truth because they have heard so many lies about you they cannot imagine they are all false.

The Borderline's excessive tendency to project or transfer their own negative feelings, behaviors, or perceived negative traits onto others usually arises from their own feelings of self-hatred and self-criticism. In order to deny and escape the truth about their own private hell (usually rooted in an abusive childhood), they instead project their own feelings of self-hatred and inadequacy outside themselves onto others. This is why Borderlines will constantly criticize you, accuse you of saying or doing something you haven't done or said, and blame you for their problems and unhappiness.

Borderline projections can be very destructive and because most borderlines do not have healthy boundaries, situations can escalate and cause more unnecessary hurt and damage all the way to very serious false criminal allegations that can cost innocent people their jobs, children, and even their lives.

Divorce Can Intensify the Emotional Abuse

When you divorce someone who suffers from BPD, the emotional abuse does not necessarily end there. It can result in a high-conflict divorce costing you more than you bargained for, not just in terms of wasted money and time, but in very deep psychological wounds. The borderline ex is prone to litigate over everything and to refuse to cooperate with court orders, reasonable requests, and common sense. She or he will likely make even straightforward property settlement issues costly, dragging out the legal process by refusing or avoiding to comply with court decrees to return property, split retirement accounts, repay money owed, and more. He or she may manipulate others by crying poor, telling others that you have lots of money stashed away and have always been mean with money, when in reality they themselves have a much higher income and have more savings than you. Again, this kind of behavior is projection and also a way to humiliate and dominate you.

Another way Borderlines can mess with your mind and emotions is to try and suck you back into the marriage if it is the early stages of your divorce or separation. Be sure to set your limits and be prepared to stand your ground and stick to your boundaries. Borderline behavior will swing unpredictably, one week they may call and want to talk for hours, the next week they may block off any and all communication from you.

No doubt this will be very frustrating so it will be important that you have good legal representation - preferably an attorney who is familiar and understands what drives high-conflict divorces - and a supportive network of family and friends that you can trust. Most importantly, do your best to disengage from the situation. If you have tried every avenue to reasonably communicate with your Borderline and they continue to be unresponsive, do not persist by sending more communication thinking that they might not have received the others you sent. Otherwise the Borderline may distort the truth and accuse you of stalking and harassment.

To understand and find out more about emotionally abusive relationships and how to identify borderline traits, go to angiemedia.com.

Rob Washington is a frequent contributor to angiemedia.com's coverage on families, divorce, mental health, government, and social issues.

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is personality disorder in which the person displays a disrupted style and it usually it affects people above the age of 18 years. An individual with this disorder can have unstable moods of abnormal levels. There's a tendency to view people or events in extreme conditions of possibly good or bad. They often idealize or maybe devaluate anyone who they meet up with. Without proper care and therapy Borderline Personality Disorder can cause misfortune to an individual's relationships, at the office and with family members. Unstable social interactions, identity, self-image and habits are as well obvious in people affected by BPD.

Individuals with BPD are really hypersensitive regarding the events taking place in the surroundings all-around them. These people go through intense fear of abandonment and also frustration which is incorrect, also for reasonable separations from family for instance a business trip, a vacation, or perhaps sudden change in strategies. They fear being lonely and constantly desire to be in the company of men and women they are attached to. To avert this condition they could take impulsive steps like suicidal efforts. They change their mind-set toward well wishers or enthusiasts by idealizing them to devaluing them. Their plans plus opinion regarding values, career, types of associates, sexual identity are not steady and changes with situations.

What may cause BPD are usually related to hereditary, biological as well as sociable variables which includes the technique of conversation with their associates, family members and different kids in their early life, and emotional factors that includes the person's nature and also personality, shaped by their surroundings and ability to cope with strain.

BPD is clinically determined by an educated mental health professional such as a psychiatrist or perhaps a psycho therapist. There are no pathological testing that require to be performed. The assessments commonly consist of patient's findings and the mental health professional's findings.

Treatment for BPD involves long term therapy by a skilled psychologist. For some particular debilitating and troubling signs and symptoms drugs can also be given.

Borderline Personality Disorder explained in detail.

This disorder often co-occurs with bipolar disorder.

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The Main Symptoms and Manifestations of Narcissistic Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you suspecting that you or someone you know suffers from Narcissistic Borderline Personality Disorder?

First let's make a short incursion in these personality disorders separately than we will see how we can tell apart one from the other.

To start with, the specific symptoms and manifestations of BPD consist of emotional instability, unstable relationships which are based on an intense abandonment fear, a deep feeling of emotional void or deep inner emptiness, marked and/or unstable self-identity, episodes of intense fury, potentially self-destructive impulsive behaviors, paranoid ideation in intensely distressing circumstances, and attempts threats or ideation to commit suicide.

The characteristics of narcissistic personality consist of general patterns of grandiosity, intense need for others' admiration, and lack of empathy.

The borderline is shy, timid, and insecure, lacks self-confidence, has a lack or fairly unstable self-identity, dreads the next invalidation, and bursts out into anger when a real or imaginary invalidation occurs. On the other hand, the narcissistic is overly self-confident, profits from others' hard work with no regards to the consequences, doesn't have empathy, starves after god-like admiration from others, and relies on manipulation or any kind of blackmailing to get what he/she wants from others right now.

Also the narcissistic wants exceptional treatment, thinks that he/she is entitled for special privileges without merits, networks only with high status personalities and despises others who are below those standards. Is haughty, does not threat to or ideate over committing suicide, and manifests no overt anti-social behaviors, unlike the borderline personality sufferers.

Narcissistic people put a great deal of effort into maintaining their VIP appearance, manifest attitudinal and verbal contempt to others who are seemingly less important, and are disgustingly grandiose and perfectionists with others.

Interestingly, about 75% of the borderline sufferers are women, while the same percentage is comprised by narcissistic men.

On a general basis, narcissistic borderline personality people will have one personality as staple, the other one giving the specific personality shades of that person.

So what is the way of not mixing up the many details of these personalities in a person who suffers from both?

The best way is to look at the general and most frequent tendencies, and then to identify the details specific for the secondary traits.

In relationships for instance a borderline will leave the impression of insecurity, neediness, instability, and lack of self-confidence, while the narcissistic will send the message that he or she is the one individual who really matters and all the others are ornaments who just work for him/her.

There are a number of other very important things you need to know about borderline personality as well as the other related mental disorders. So kick-start your recovery with my free ebook "Surviving The Borderline Hellhole"!

Narcissistic Borderline Personality Disorder

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Borderline Personality Disorder And Bipolar Disorder - How They Are Different

Borderline Personality Disorder is not as common as Bipolar, and also we know less about this illness. Twenty percent of hospital admissions for mental illness are diagnosed with this disorder, while fifty percent of hospitalizations for mental illness are bipolar patients. Young women are the group more known to develop Borderline Personality Disorder, while bipolar affects both men and women equally regardless of age.

Mood swings such as anxiety, depression and violent flare ups are experienced in both patients with Borderline Personality Disorder and those with Bipolar. With Bipolar patients these symptoms can last weeks or months in a cycle, whilst in Borderline Personality Disorder it may only last a few hours or a day.

With Borderline Personality Disorder, a patient can reach periods where they they do not know what their likes and dislikes are, who they are as a person or their personal preferences. Their long term goals may change quite often, and trying to stick to one activity becomes difficult. They act on impulse with overeating, shopping sprees and may indulge in sexual liaisons with strangers. Mania is also present in bipolar patients.

Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder also experience emptiness, feelings of being misunderstood or mistreated and worthlessness; much like the symptoms felt in depression of patients with Bipolar.

In terms of relationships, a patient with Borderline Personality Disorder will have extremes of being totally besotted or hating someone with a passion. One minute they will be in love, then a small upset or conflict will instantly make them hate that person. If they fear being abandoned, the patient gets depressed, feels rejection and may threaten suicide. Bipolar patients also have these issues when it comes to relationships.

Treatments for both disorders are also similar. A psychiatrist will prescribe both medication and therapy, the preferred choice. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy was originally developed in patients with Borderline Personality Disorder, but found to be successful for Bipolar patients. There are various medications for both mental illnesses which have been to achieve good results.

There is little known about both illnesses which are thought to be either genetic or due to the environment. Research shows that the nature of Bipolar is more biological and hereditary, whereas Borderline Personality Disorder is due more to the stimuli of the environment and situations.

These similarities show that either illness is difficult to distinguish and diagnose, for doctors and psychologists, too. Anyone who is suffering from these symptoms should medical or professional advice for the correct diagnosis and treatment. Self diagnosis is not the best way to go about treating your symptoms especially with Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. A psychiatrist or psychologist is the best person to advise you in order for successful treatment to be prescribed, and give you the best chance for managing your mental illness for a better future.

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Depression, and Its Connection to Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder has, among other symptoms, depressive traits, in that the sufferer is subject to feelings of failure, rejection and seeks out isolation. Other symptoms include;

1. The certainty that people have hidden motives towards them.

2. Strong feelings that they'll be exploited by people for evil reasons.

3. They're quite unable to work with other people, mainly because of the two foregoing reasons.

4. They have a very low opinion of themselves, as has the person who suffers depression, and

5 They're generally hostile to people.

While they're full of suspicion regarding others, they're quite unable to understand that this suspicion is false, that it's in their minds and bears no relation whatever to reality. They endure cyclical episodes of anxiety and depression, but these moods don't last very long. They are, if you like, a by product of Borderline Personality Disorder.

I've stated this desire for isolation, but nevertheless being alone frightens them. Patients are always suicide risks and should be on suicide watch the whole time.

It's thought that between 1% to 3% of American adults suffer from this condition, although there's very little positive data to back this up.

Borderline Personality Disorder was so named in the 1940s and 50s, because it was thought that it was on the border between neurosis and psychosis. This has since been disproved. It's considered such a serious illness, that the U.S. House of Representatives has declared May as Borderline Personality Disorder Month.

What makes matters doubly difficult is that so little is known of the condition. What is known is based purely on empirical research. In the majority of cases, the sufferer shows lability, or changeability, between anger and anxiety or between depression and anxiety. They find it very difficult to control their emotions. The sad part is that most of them yearn for a loving, caring relationship, but ruin their chances due to their sudden outbursts of anger, their mood swings and an impulsiveness that pushes other people away.

Another strange symptom is that at times they look at themselves as thoroughly rotten, even evil, people. At other times that they simply don't exist at all. The closest thing to relationships they have are those of love/hate. Considering that they see everything in black and white, this makes sense. There are no grey areas.

Grey areas, of course, are vital in our make-up, to act as compromise. Usually without realizing it, we compromise twenty or thirty times a day. If we didn't, we'd be at each other's throats the whole time and this is precisely the condition experienced by the Borderline Personality. They make a statement with which if you disagree, they fly into a fit of anger.

Like the person who suffers a Bipolar condition, the Borderline Personality tends to engage in risky behaviour. They love speed, driving cars as fast as they're able. They often engage in gambling and drug-taking, the latter in dangerously high dosages.

The only causes that the doctors have been able to put forward to date, is the rather lame one of genetics. The father had the condition, therefore his son may well be subject to it as well. Environmental, a history of childhood abuse. And brain abnormalities. The last reason seems pretty obvious. The point is, which part of the brain, or combinations of parts, are causing the trouble?

Serotonin, they say, may not be functioning properly, but all this is grasping at straws. Together with schizophrenia, this is an illness which should be at the top of the list for research, so that a positive cure may be found. It wrecks the lives of too many people, not just the poor sufferers, but their families as well

Mike Bond, this time discussing one of the most unpleasant conditions there are; Borderline Personality Disorder. He notes that both depression and anxiety play their part in the illness, and we strongly suggest visiting his site at [http://www.panattack.com] to see how you may rid yourself of anxiety and panic attacks without the use of drugs. You'll find an excellent mini-course there that's absolutely free [http://www.panattack.com].

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Rage and Entitlement in Borderline Personality Disorder

During a recent consultation, Jay, a young mental health worker at an in-patient facility, asked for advice on how to cope with a borderline personality disorder patient who was struggling with issues of rage and a sense of entitlement. He submitted a long written description, reporting that his work with this patient was "becoming a nightmare." Among other problematic behaviors, Jay reported that his patient cuts herself, threatens suicide, hits her peers, urinates on the floor and screams at top of her lungs when she does not get her way.

She clearly has a strong sense of entitlement, which is characteristic of borderline personality disorder. Jay illustrated this problem with another example: one evening she ordered cereal for her breakfast the following day, then woke up and demanded oatmeal and bananas instead. When no one complied, she overturned a few chairs, threw her tray at the kitchen staff, and then threatened to kill herself and burn the place down. The temper tantrum lasted three hours. As she was completely unreachable, she was eventually placed in restraints and medicated.

Jay complains that "empathy does not work, group therapy, one on one, drawing, meditating, bribery" -- nothing works. He also describes her extreme swings in emotion, especially in her relationship to Jay. "She hates me one day and cannot live without me the next." She has no boundaries and does not respect Jay's. His fellow staff members "are all sick of her." As he is the most junior member on the ward, he is unfortunately "stuck" with her." He feels so angry and demoralized by his work with this patient that is considering a change of career.

Jay's description dramatically illustrates the emotional challenge of working with someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder. His reactions are not unusual; I have felt very similar ways during sessions with my own clients. His account also reminds me of other such stories I've heard, about the way borderline personality disorder patients affect their ward staff. They are highly provocative and evocative; they inspire feelings of hostility and resentment. They make you want to quit the profession.

In order to help someone like this young woman, you first have to get clear on the difference between empathy and sympathy. Jay states that "empathy does not work," but I doubt he or anyone else on the staff is truly empathizing with her... at least they're not aware that they are. She fills them (via projection) with all her own unbearable emotions of rage and anger; the way she treats her caretakers evokes the same feelings within them that she is struggling with. Jay says her behaviors make his "blood boil" -- that's where the empathy comes in. The problem is that, for the most part, we mental health professionals believe it's inappropriate to have such feelings, and when we're forced to admit that we do have them, we want to blame the patient.

What I recommend instead is to use those feelings to connect with her. I suggested to Jay that he say something to his patient like this: "When you can't force me do what you want, it makes you so furious you hate my guts and want to kill me." It's clear from Jay's description that she's struggling with murderous rage and it's important to name it for her, to articulate the emotions and impulses she's feeling. It's easy to assume that she knows what she's feeling; the truth is, her mind is continually blown apart by the violence of her feelings; she doesn't really know what they are in any way you or I would recognize. It's the job of the therapist to help her bear with those feelings and learn to understand them -- very difficult work.

This young woman also finds any kind of frustration unbearable; she's goes into a rage whenever she feels it. In part, this reflects the sense of entitlement you so often find with borderlines; it also betrays the limits of her capacity to bear any kind of pain. She demands to be treated as if she were an infant, really -- ministered to by a perfect mother who would tend to her every need and never let frustration become an issue. It would be important to address this with the patient: "I think you find any kind of frustration unbearably painful; when you feel it, you just want to kill somebody." With my own clients, I've also said things like: "You expect me to understand and gratify your every need without you having to say a single word."

Neither can she bear the experience of separateness; those boundary-crossing behaviors that understandably annoy Jay represent her attempt to take possession of him, to own him, and to deny the separation between them. When the experience of need, separateness and frustration is unbearable, fantasies of merger often come to the rescue. If she "owns" Jay by merging with him, then on some level, she believes she won't have to feel frustration, or become enraged when he doesn't instantly do what she wants him to do. When she feels "at one" with Jay, she "loves" him (it's not really love, of course); when she experiences him as separate and frustrating, she wants to kill him. To me, these are familiar borderline dynamics.

I feel for Jay. His description is overflowing with all the unbearable emotion she inspires in him. Using those feelings as a guide to the patient's emotional experience (countertransference in the broad sense) is the only way to make the work bearable for the therapist, and the only way you can truly help someone this troubled. In my experience, it also helps you feel more compassionate toward their suffering. It is painful and often terrifying to feel murderous rage. If Jay, with his healthier mind and greater mental capacities, finds it so difficult, imagine how hard it must be for his patient to bear with her experience. By using your reactions as a guide to understanding your client (instead of feeling quietly guilty because you hate her), you'll truly empathize with her experience, and probably feel a lot more sympathy as well.

Joseph Burgo PhD is a clinical psychologist who writes extensively about shame, narcissistic rage, bipolar disorder symptoms and working with borderline personality disorder. He also offers online counseling via Skype.

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A Review of Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

Treatment of any kind of psychological disorder is a hard issue. It comprises many things and it should be done by highly professional people. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is acute mental suffering, which includes a lot of severe psychotic attacks. Also known as bipolar- disorder, BPD mostly consists of deficieny in cognitive sphere and of emotional overreacting.

BPD harms the emotional sphere of human psyche, making it vulnerable and prone to unstableness. Terms such as emotional imbalance or inappropriateness are often used to illustrate the outcome of bipolar disorder. Patients suffering from emotional incompetence, are often prone to controversial emotional responses: their behavior varies depending on the specific mood and emotion, which has captured them. Bipolar disorder patients have problems in controlling their emotions: one day they can act as extremely aggressive, the other can be subdued and meek.

Lack of emotional control is caused by cognitive incompetence: bipolar disorder affects the cognitive sphere, so that patients cannot control their behavior, and have vague ideas about what is proper or not. They more often depend on their mood swings and feelings to tell them how to act. This can be very dangerous, especially with integrating these people in society. This disease has several nuances, there are similarities with manic-depression disorder, but any professional can distinguish between the both.

There are two ways to treat borderline disorder: and the first one is psychotherapy. The therapy should be done by a professional, who acts as a consciousness of the patient. Another way to cure this disorder, is by using drugs. But sole medication cannot make amends in the whole cognitive sphere, so drugs are more often combined with therapy to acquire greater results. People suffering from BPD are often prescribed a great quantity of drugs, which can be really depressing.

A therapist would be helpful in these situations: someone to console the patient and assure him or her of the positive outcome of the process. The medication treatment requires taking anti-psychotics, neuroleptics, and/or anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines. There are a lot of drugs which can be easily found and proved working.

Therapy process must be done so that a patient is obstructed from doing harmful things. A suicidal BPD requires urgent therapy from a highly competent professional. An external aggressive patient needs help from a strict therapist, one who is not lenient with all the patient's anti-social activities.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are really very tough, and a competent help is required at any level. Patients should regularly take their pills, and should participate in the most suitable form of therapy. The cognitive sphere is what is mainly affected with these people, so that they should be looked upon very strictly in order to prevent negative reactions. The BPD patients are often unpredictable: one cannot tell what their reaction will be. To avoid anyone being hurt, they should be carefully scrutinised.

Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning health. Learn more at Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment [http://www.healthandmedicineinfo.com/health--medicine-information/health--medicine/a-review-of-borderline-personality-disorder-treatment.html]

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Drowned in Emotions - Getting to Know Borderline Personality Disorder

Like a balloon with skin fully stretched out by hot air, people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder easily burst up with the slightest touch of a piercing object. They are vessels bobbing through a turbulent sea of emotions, periodically facing the chance of drowning.

Borderline personality disorder is a serious mental condition characterized by consistent mood instability, a distorted self-image and perception of others, as well as emotional deregulation. People with borderline personality disorder often find it difficult to trust others. They are oversensitive to the actions of those around them, and read too much into things. This leads them to forge chaotic, unstable platonic and romantic relationships, wherein they usually end up getting hurt. Their chronic fear of abandonment provokes them to seek out rescue through performance of self-destructive acts such as engagement in vices, promiscuity and overeating. Furthermore, they are confused with their life-goals and career paths, which is why they are unable to maintain employment and work performance. People with borderline personality disorder experience difficulty in controlling their feelings that's why they exhibit sudden, inappropriate and uncontrollable fits of anger, and anxiety. Depression usually accompanies these deep-seated emotional discrepancies and trigger self-mutilation practices and suicide.

To protect their ego and achieve a sense of release from the state of panic, people with borderline personality disorders will accuse others with their own faulty characteristics (projection), or become what they think is pleasing to others (identification). They may also believe that their thoughts can cause things to happen or that the world is sabotaging their plans(magical thinking) and be convinced that they know everything and are always right, regardless of what is actually happening (omnipotence). These defense mechanisms often contribute to their instability and make them misunderstood individuals.

People with borderline personality disorders are not completely incompetent individuals, in contrast to their standardized depiction. Some of those afflicted with the condition are in fact, creative and intelligent people that have contributed more to the world, than the normally facilitated man. When engulfed in their self-made struggles and sufferings, and plagued by their unending questions about life, people with borderline personality disorders produce the most thought-provoking art forms. Their empathic personality and sensitivity to the needs of others make them great public servants. This also makes them keen observers, analysts, and critics; able to generate significant and empowering ideals for the improvement of life and government. Adolph Hitler, the Princess of Wales, Marilyn Monroe, Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald and Susanna Kayson are just some of those great personalities diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Jessica Suarez has spent years on the study on Borderline Personality Disorder, and has written books on BPD treatments.

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Three Steps for Managing Borderline Personality Disorder

Are you searching for ways for Managing Borderline Personality Disorder?

This mental disorder can be indeed quite disturbing to the sufferer and the close ones as well. So what can you do to keep it under control and start your recovery process from BPD?

The first step is to actually admit that you are suffering from this mental disorder if you haven't done this yet, even if this is difficult for you right now. Generally we humans tend to reject the idea that there is a problem with us even when this is obvious. As counterintuitive as this may seem, accepting the idea of having difficulties actually has a relieving effect on the mind.

Why?

Because instead of concentrating on behaviors and strategies to mask the symptoms, you can channel your focus and energy on actually getting better. Not mentioning the anxiety to always be on alert to cover the symptoms.

The second step toward managing borderline personality disorder and your recovery is to understand that BPD is a mental disorder, not a mental illness.

What is the difference between the two?

A mental disorder is actually represented by attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs that we have learned in our past, and which are unhelpful and disadaptive to us. A mental illness on the other hand refers to physical and/or physiological disturbances inside the brain. So the good part in all of this is that BPD being a mental disorder means that you can actually do something for your recovery. In fact you can have total control over your mind, you just need to learn how to do that.

The third step toward managing borderline personality disorder is to change the unhelpful and disadaptive thoughts and perceptions with new healthy and helpful ones. This step can be achieved through the exact same principle through which you have acquired the unhelpful and disadaptive thoughts you have today. And that principle is called learning.

Virtually anyone with intact learning and habit creation abilities can achieve the goal of getting over BPD and living a happy and fulfilling life once again. So kick-start your healing process with the facts and strategies you find in my free ebook "Surviving The Borderline Hellhole"!

And if you want to find out more about BPD, click here: Managing Borderline Personality Disorder!

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Mental Health - Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

The following article will give you a broad overview of Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder has only been adopted as an official diagnosis in 1980 so it is a very recent addition to the personality disorders.

Remember Michael Douglas and Glenn Close in the film Fatal Attraction? She played a woman with many characteristics of the borderline personality. Another example is Winona Ryder as the girl she played in Girl, Interrupted.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

People who suffer from this disorder show impulsivity and instability in relationships, moods and self-image. Emotions can be erratic and shift abruptly, particularly from passionate idealization to contemptuous anger. It is obvious that these people are emotionally unstable in their personality.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Patients of BPD often show up as being argumentative, sarcastic, quick to take offense, irritable, and are generally hard to be around or live with. Their behavior is regularly impulsive and unpredictable. Habits, which may include gambling, spending, unselective sexual activities and eating sprees can potentially be self-damaging.

Individuals are often manipulative, very sensitive to the way they are treated by others, specifically reacting strongly to criticism and being and or feeling hurt. They often show risk of self-harm and have suicidal tendencies.

Where does it come from?

BPD has a lot of connection with the environmental factors and the psychosocial dynamics of the patient's families. Evidence shows that this disorder runs in families, suggesting it may have genetic components and that it is related to traumatic events that happened during childhood.

BPD typically begins in early adulthood and is more common in women than in men.

Treatment options

Medications like antidepressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers are used regularly to treat the co-existing symptoms of depression however the evidence for benefit for BPD is weak.

Therapeutic support in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy and psychodynamic therapy have been studied and used. For a therapist to be working with BPD patients it takes a lot of flexibility and the ego strength to be projected at with negative attributions.

In many cases psychiatric hospitalization is required or at least outpatient services.

Get help

Dealing with BPD yourself or in your family is not something that can be managed on your own.

Remember: If you're concerned that your loved one is dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder seek external support and get them checked out by a medical professional.

Want to know more? Have a look at my blog.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for our newsletter today.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Test

Borderline Personality Disorder known as BPD is a type of mental illness which is considered to be quite serious. It is characterized by instability in behavior, moods, interpersonal relations and self-image. Family and work life, long term planning and awareness of one's individual identity is usually affected by this instability. People with BPD often find it difficult to regulate their emotions. Though this disorder is not as popular as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, it does affect 2 percent of the adult population, mainly young women. The rate of self-harm without having the intention of suicide is high in such cases. In some cases patients suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder also tend to commit suicide. Among patients hospitalized for psychiatric problems, patients with BPD make 20 percent. Over time many improve with help and are able to lead useful lives eventually.

While people suffering from bipolar disorder or depression tend to display continued state of mood for a longer period, people suffering from BPD may undergo severe outbreaks of anger, anxiety and depression lasting for a few hours or maximum a day. These may have associations with series of aggression which is impulsive, such as alcohol or drug abuse and injury to self. Lack of self esteem is also common amongst patients suffering from BPD. They may feel mistreated unfairly, empty, or even bored at times. These symptoms are most severe when people having Borderline Personality Disorder feel that they do not have social support and are isolated.

The social relationships of people having BPD have highly unstable patterns. There is a change in their attitude towards their friends, family and loved ones, from love and great admiration to dislike and intense anger. BPD often appears with other psychiatric problems such as bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse, and other disorders. BPD is caused by the abnormal functioning of the Lymbic area of the brain controlling emotions. It may involve neurotransmitters such as dopamine, acetylcholine, serotonin, and norepinephrine.

A borderline personality disorder test is an evaluation used for diagnosing borderline personality disorder. A mental health professional administers the borderline personality disorder test. The test usually comprises of a series of questions or statements which the patient has to answer accordingly. If five or more symptoms are identified through the patient's answers then the diagnosis follow accordingly.

Some of the questions covered in the test are check for reactions to abandonment, relationship issues, instability, questions pertaining to self esteem and self image, questions that try to find out more about the self destructive behavior of the individual or patient, questions on suicidal thoughts and behavior, or self injurious behavior, questions pertaining to feelings, especially feelings of emptiness and difficulty in controlling emotions especially anger and ones revolving around paranoia and loss of reality.

There are a number of websites having border personality disorder test which can help you determine whether someone you care about may have the symptoms of BPD. Once you have administered the test you can then discuss the results with a mental health professional to help with diagnosis and treatment of BPD. The causes, symptoms, signs are generally covered by the borderline personality disorder test. Treatment along with the steps you can take by yourself to fight this condition should be recommended by qualified doctors only.

There have been improvements in the treatments for BPD in the past few years. Individual and group psychotherapy have produced positive results for many patients. A new treatment termed dialectical behavior therapy known as DBT, is a psychosocial treatment that is usually recommended for BPD and seems to be promising. Depending on the specific symptoms the patient has, medications may be prescribed.

Borderline personality disorder test About similarities between borderline & narcissistic personality disorders [http://narcissisticpersonalitydisordernarcissism.com/]

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Congratulations! It's Just Borderline Personality Disorder!

You or some-one you care about has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I hope you have heard by now that BPD is highly treatable! Now you can finally get on with living a good life! I can tell you from my experience, that once you get over the initial shock of finding out that you have a brain disorder, things start to get better as you realize how nice the treatment is and how we finally have a place you belong!

I was thinking, when I was diagnosed, that having a mental illness confirmed what I had already suspected, that the culmination of all my pain and suffering would be my becoming a homeless person that no one cared about or wanted to be with. I felt REALLY sorry for myself, and yes, I believe, I was entitled to be able to wallow in some self pity for a bit. But quickly I found out that FINALLY I had an answer, a treatment and a cure! Hurray!

So, here is where I suggest you start: find out good sources of information, number one, and then with that information, find good treatment options and good support.

First, begin with research.

Now, this is the first thing I'm going to tell you about research: beware of what you read on the web! There are some There are a lot of angry people out there whose approach, in my opinion, is not helpful to any of us. We are in this together, and there is a lot of empirical evidence and compassionate advice that is beneficial to concentrate on for our healing.

If you are a reader, my favorite books are: New Hope for People with Borderline Personality Disorder by Dr. Neil R. Bockian and BPD Demystified by Dr. Robert Friedel. These books offer multiple treatment options, including traditional and alternative treatments, as well as useful information on self-help and the family perspective. Dr. Friedel, while professional and clinical in his approach, has a section on his relationship with his sister, Denise, who had BPD, and it helps me feel validated to know his passion for his work is fueled by his emotions towards his sister. These books can be read by consumers and supporters as well.

If you are a supporter, you may have figured out on your own that we consumers are very sensitive to what you say to us. There is a reason for that, and I'll point out right here that the flip side to us getting upset about things so easily is that we feel all emotions deeply, including our love for you. But, I digress...because we feel so deeply, especially early in our recovery, there are some things that a supporter can read that a consumer possibly could not. One of those books is Stop Walking on Eggshells. If you are a supporter and are looking for answers on how the heck to talk to us (quick!), there is a chapter on communicating with us that is right on!

Next, get in to effective treatment.

I'll tell you in a nutshell, to save you a lot of time, what the current thought is on treatment. For some of us medication is helpful and for some not necessary. For all of us therapy is essential, and if your therapist doesn't know how to treat BPD, she may be doing more harm than good, so find one who knows your disorder! For all of us, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills training can be enormously helpful and downright awesome!

Some of the things you will learn are how to effectively regulate your emotions and how to avoid black and white thinking.

Find yourself some support.

The illness usually forces sufferers into social isolation, which only compounds the symptoms. Part of your healing will be to slowly get back into life. Once you have learned some basic skills, you will be able to tolerate social interactions, and will grow to enjoy them once more. The key is to finding people who understand and are supportive of you, right where you are.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has support groups that encompass all brain disorders. BPD is a newcomer to their list of disorders, so some chapters may be more helpful than others. However, many Borderline Personality Disorder sufferers are diagnosed with multiple illnesses, so NAMI may be a supportive environment for a range of disorders.

I recommend the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD) for your family members. They are an informed, passionate and helpful organization who offer the Family Connections class at a price that can't be beat. This class will help those you love to understand your illness and teach skills to be more effective in their relationship with you.

Keep your mind open to possibilities.

If you can't afford or can't find a particular solution, there will be another one! It's NOT black or white...there are many options. And be encouraged! Things can get better now!

Take care!

Tami Green
Healing from Borderline Personality Disorder is possible. Visit my website to see how I successfully overcame this disorder. http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com or email me: tami@borderlinepersonalitysupport.com

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She Has Borderline Personality Disorder, How in the World Can I Help Her?

Whether you realize your loved one has Borderline Personality Disorder while they do not, or they have presented you with the news recently, there are some things you should definitely do and not do to help. This is true for clinicians as well, and often family members and clinicians actually make the person with the illness much sicker. Conversely, there are many things you can do to help reduce or alleviate symptoms. Many are surprised to find out how much the good advice they received from others was actually hurting those they loved, and making their own lives much more miserable.

I suffered from this illness, and know first hand what helps those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. I have compiled below my top eight ways to help someone with BPD:

1. Use validating, non-judgmental language. I have this as number one for a reason! No matter what he is saying, repeat something back to them that they just said, just so they know you are listening. It is not helpful to correct, lay blame, lecture, etc. Listen without jumping to conclusions.

2. Find treatment options and present them to us. Don't expect us to be able to have the energy to do this for ourselves if we can't get out of bed.

3. Educate yourself. There are logical reasons why we behave the way we do! If you can understand "why", then it makes all the many small, as well as large, decisions we have to make each day much easier. You will receive clarity of direction for your loved ones' life, your own life, and you will learn not to take the behavior personal (very important!)

4. Lower your expectations, wayyyyyyy down. Accept that we are severely impaired in key areas of brain functioning and therefore are not capable of things that come easily for others. This is a big one for people to swallow! Here is a typical conversation: "But she is so talented! She has her PhD and yet she can't even hold down a job! I just can't accept that she can't work!" Trust me, if she is not working, she can't. But, with your support and proper treatment, she will work again! But it may take a while.

5. Learn to remain calm in crisis. If you think this one is impossible, think again. We live in internal crisis most of our lives and we are learning how to stay calm--so can you! Model this for us so we know it is possible!

6. Continue to model appropriate behavior, but don't try to "teach" us the right or wrong thing to do until we are ready. This seems counter-intuitive to parenting 101, but we often can not tolerate instruction from our loved ones without it inducing immense shame and fear.

7. Likewise, if you are fortunate enough to be married to one of us, don't expect that we are capable of negotiating through the typical daily life decisions with you until the core symptoms of our illness are somewhat under control. Once we learn how to regulate our emotions, understand that many of our thoughts are altered and gain effective communication skills, you will be delighted to find our conversations becoming much more productive and pleasant.

8. Take care of yourself.

9. Go to support groups!

More than anything, never, ever, ever discount the power of your love! It is the demonstration of your vulnerable love that will help heal the incredible hurt we usually are feeling. On the other hand, make sure your own needs are validated by some loving, trusted confidants. Borderline Personality Disorder is a curable illness and many go on to find rich, rewarding relationships with those who once were in the bitter throes of the disorder.

Tami Green
If you would like additional tips on dealing with your loved one's Borderline Personality Disorder, either from coaching with me personally, or through free resources, please visit my website at: http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com or email me: tami@borderlinepersonalitysupport.com

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How to Cope When Your Loved One Suffers From BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Those who suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) profoundly affect their loved ones. One minute everything is fine and the next you feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time, never knowing how your loved one will react to a situation or to you; will it be with love... or anger? You feel helpless and unable to cope. You are not alone. It is thought that more than six million people in the U.S. have a Borderline Personality Disorder, and that these people greatly affect the lives of at least 30 million others.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? BPD is a serious and often life-threatening disorder that is characterized by severe emotional pain and difficulties managing emotions. The problems associated with BPD include impulsivity (including an impulse to suicide and self-harm), severe negative emotion such as anger and/or shame, chaotic relationships, an extreme fear of abandonment, and accompanying difficulties maintaining a stable and accepting sense of self.

How to cope when your loved one suffers from BPD The best way to cope is to try to understand what BPD is and how it affects the sufferer. It is always easy to be scared of the unknown, so learn as much as you can about BPD, its symptoms and what a sufferer of BPD goes through. Most importantly, understand that when they lash out at you it's not personal.

Of course, even when you think you understand BPD, you will still have to learn how to cope with your own feelings of betrayal, hurt and guilt created by your loved one's attitude towards you and that some people will believe their hurtful comments about you. Sadly, those suffering from BPD have short memories as far as "good things" happening to them, but they always remember the bad stuff and your perceived involvement in that. It is hard to deal with the feeling that you are only as good as the last thing you did for them.

Help them to get treatment If you have enough influence and control in the sufferer's life, then you need to help them to make the decision to seek treatment. It is imperative that they take responsibility for their BPD and be made to understand that there is qualified help out there, that things can be better, that they CAN get control of their life. This is very hard to do and therefore the most difficult element to cope with, because the very nature of the disorder holds the sufferer back from seeking help. It engenders negative feelings in the sufferer towards themselves and those trying to help them, creates low self-esteem meaning the sufferer doesn't feel 'worthy' of help, and gives them a black and white view of the world, meaning that they might dismiss the doctor as 'no good' at a second appointment having been very happy with them at the first.

What if I can't convince them to get treatment? There are many support groups out there, not just for BPD sufferers but also for those who live with, or who are close to, a BPD sufferer. Sometimes just sharing the burden helps. Communication is key in any situation but it is particularly important here. Communication with the BPD sufferer and with those around you to make them understand what you are going through; all this is paramount to help you cope with the stress of loving someone suffering from BPD.

Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com

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Borderline Personality Disorder and Paradoxical Relationships

People who suffer from a severe form of Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, are extraordinarily sensitive to any perceived slight or hint of rejection.

They lack insight when it comes to relationships and are unable to calm themselves when under stress. They can become enraged when they believe, often incorrectly, that someone has done them wrong.

Sadly, the individual with severe BPD is so convinced that others are about to hurt or abandon them that they are compelled to behave in ways which, paradoxically, are provocative and alienating.

In their efforts to manage what they imagine to be inevitable betrayal or abuse, they inadvertently create exactly the situations which they most dread.

Otherwise kind and even-tempered individuals can become very frustrated in the presence of an unreasonable, irrational and provocative person with BPD. They might find themselves acting in ways that are quite out of character.

The person affected with severe BPD has an uncanny knack of bringing out the worst in those that they interact with. This just reinforces their belief that most people are going to hurt or disappoint them.

Sufferers of severe BPD have a powerful need to get back at those who've been supposedly attacking, rejecting or shaming them. Paradoxically, the Borderline sufferer ends up doing all the real harm in their quest to punish the so-called offenders.

Severely-affected BPD individuals are extremely adept at causing harm to those who they believe have hurt them. The person on the receiving end of their wrath might have unknowingly played into their hand by responding in a critical or rejecting manner, but often they're innocent of any wrong-doing.

Either way, the unfortunate individual who has become the focus of the Borderline's wrath is in for a very nasty surprise. Nothing they've done could ever merit the degree of viciousness and persistence of the attack. The Borderline individual is so filled with a distorted sense of righteous indignation that they are able to pursue their cause, indefinitely.

It's a sad paradox that in order to protect ourselves against someone who suffers from severe Borderline Personality Disorder, it is often necessary to play right into their hands. This unfortunately shows them that they can keep on getting away with their terrible behavior.

The person with severe BPD is so relentless in their pursuit of "justice" against those who have offended them that their victims often become exhausted in their attempts at self-defense. The BPD sufferer will readily hire lawyers and accuse the other person of the most egregious offenses.

A normal person has no stomach for this type of conflict and is often willing to concede to the Borderline individual's unfair and inappropriate demands. They just want the nightmare to stop and the angry, irrational person to go away.

A normal person confronted with such persistent hostility will usually attempt to placate the BPD individual because they can see no end to the acrimony, otherwise. Sadly, the BPD sufferer can add this "victory" to their growing list of "wrongs" that they have "righted."

The more we placate them, the more the person suffering from severe BPD is convinced that they were right in the first place. Still, our options aren't great. If we engage with them we will exhaust ourselves, and even if we win, the cost will have been too great in terms of our wasted time, money and energy.

Whereas the BPD sufferer seems to have all the time in the world to dedicate to their vendetta, the average person would much rather go back to their nice, quiet life as quickly as possible.

Until our society is able to protect us from people with severe personality disorders and until the courts recognize and protect us from malicious prosecution, it seems like beating a hasty retreat is often our best and safest strategy.

(C) Marcia Sirota MD, 2010

Marcia Sirota MD is a psychiatrist and psychotherapist practicing in Toronto Canada. Her areas of interest include overcoming compulsive eating and other addictions, unblocking creativity and healing PTSD.

She is the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, which is dedicated to promoting the philosophy of Ruthless Compassion.

http://www.ruthlesscompassioninstitute.com

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What People Need to Know About Borderline Personality Disorder

Do you think you might have borderline personality disorder or BPD? Well, you might have personality traits commonly exhibited by people with the disorder, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have it. BPD, just like other personality disorders, involves a consistent pattern of thought and interaction between the person with the disorder and with his environment. This pattern usually causes several problems and can impair the sufferer's ability take of himself or cope with life. The pattern for borderline personality disorder is usually characterized by unstable views about one's self, behaviour, feelings and ability to interact with others, all of which can interfere with the person's ability to function normally.

In the past, BPD has been regarded as a set of signs and symptoms that include both psychosis (reality distortion) and neuroses (mood problems). People saw it as a condition that sits borderline between schizophrenia and mood problems. However, it has now been established that the condition is more similar to personality disorders, especially with the way it develops and occurs within families.

The actual causes of borderline personality disorder are still unknown, but there are family, genetic and social factors that are associated with its incidence. The risk factors for the disorder are: 1. disrupted family life, 2. poor family communication, 3. abandonment during childhood and/or adolescence, and 4. sexual abuse. It occurs both in men and women, but mostly in women who are also receiving mental-health treatment. It affects about 6% of adults, and that is why it helps to know about the condition.

Borderline personality disorder has different symptoms. Most people with the disorder are unsure about themselves and their identity, thus their values and interests often rapidly change. They also frequently experience frequent changes in feelings or mood, and these often lead to unstable and intense relationships. They also tend to view things in extremes, as if the world is in black and white. For example, if one thing isn't all good, then it must be all bad. Other symptoms include an irrational fear of abandonment and unwillingness to be alone. They often feel empty or bored when they are alone and are impulsive with their money and sexual relationships. This impulsiveness can even lead to substance abuse, binge eating and shoplifting. They may also have frequent bouts of inappropriate anger and episodes of self-injury. If you exhibit some of these symptoms, you should consider a check up, especially if the symptoms are starting to or are already interfering with your daily life.

Like all the other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is diagnosed based on a psychological examination. The history and severity of the symptoms are also being evaluated. The good news is that BPD can be managed and treated. Many form of talk therapy are successful. These include dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and group therapy. Medications can also help with the person's mood swing and to treat other conditions that can occur with BPD. Generally, the outlook will depend on the severity of the symptoms and on the person's willingness to accept help.

For more information on Different Types of Diseases, Symptoms and Diagnoses, Please visit: Borderline Personality Disorder and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Symptoms.

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Are You Living With Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder and Trying to Find Answers?

If you are Living with Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder it means that most probably you found this article because you were looking for answers for the difficulties and challenges in your relationship.

Before getting into the answers, there are a few things you need to know about this mental disorder. They will help you implement better the tips presented in the second part of this article.

Borderline personality is famous for its characteristic fear of abandonment. This fear stems from invalidating and abusive relationships with the parents in childhood or adolescence.

In the first years of life we humans rely on attention, love, and affection from our parents or caregivers. So when we get instead invalidating and offending behaviors, children tend to interpret these as signs of abandonment or punishment.

Consequently if such negative behaviors keep coming from the parents, the child will also tend to think that he/she is the cause of these parental attitudes. Moreover, in the subconscious will emerge central self-downing and self-deprecating beliefs, which will become eventually parts of one's personality if changes don't occur meanwhile.

Also, if these core attitudes are coupled with other similar ones, they will elicit symptoms and behaviors specific for borderline personality disorder.

This fear of abandonment can manifest not only as a simple fear, but also as a phobia or even horror.

So when living with someone with borderline personality disorder, the non partner could face a constant demand for love, affection, understanding, and reassurance.

Those behaviors and attitudes of the parents which lead to the abandonment fear in the child are usually coming unexpectedly, which will lead the child to think that abandonment can possibly come at any time, even when everything seemed to be ok one moment ago.

Therefore what you would like to do is to give your dear one the needed validation and love, and ALSO mention that your feelings will be the same even though you will not be able to show them for various reasons, like job or other daily responsibilities.

Stating these things this way will send the message that your dear person can be sure about your feelings regardless you are able to show them or not given the circumstances.

When living with someone with borderline personality disorder, this way of manifesting your feelings will help your dear one regain his/her inner balance, and will also give a positive impulse to your relationship.

People who suffer from borderline personality are also known for their quick emotional shifts, from seeming calmness into anger episodes and manipulation. Some might see these as acts of selfishness or narcissism, but in reality they are desperate attempts for regaining validation, love, and understanding.

What you would like to do in such situation is, instead of giving in, to remain calm and collected, to restate your feelings and dismiss the negative behaviors of the person you care for on a calm and firm voice.

Using this strategy you'll not only remind your loved one that your feelings didn't change at all in spite of his/her conduct, but you will also give a negative feedback to the unwanted behaviors without being perceived as accusing.

If this will not work at the first time, don't worry and stick to it. This strategy speaks directly to the deepest needs of the borderline sufferer, so results should come up after not too long.

By the way, I have an ebook for you if you want to learn more about what you need to do when living with someone with borderline personality disorder. It is called "Surviving The Hellhole" and I want you to have it for free!

Living With Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: http://www.theborderlinetreatment.com/living-with-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder/.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a very difficult disorder to live with. Those with this BPD have difficulties managing strong emotions and forming healthy relationships with those closest to them, such as significant others and family. BDP is a relational problem, and at it's core are abandonment issues.

There are many excellent treatments for treating Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. The most common treatment modalities include DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and medications. DBT focuses on teaching people how to better manage their thoughts and feelings. It is often done in group settings with a trained professional. CBT works at replacing negative thoughts and behaviors associated with BPD. Medications target the symptoms accompanying BDP, which are often Depression and Anxiety. Medications are rarely, if ever, used exclusively for treating BPD and therapy is more effective for actually teaching people more effective ways of tackling the disorder.

Any combination of these therapies are excellent for treating the disorder effectively. In my experience as a counselor, I have heard from many people who report experiencing relief from BPD after going through a DBT program.

Another way to get support for dealing with BPD is to look for support groups in your area. You can find Borderline Personality Disorder support groups by checking with your therapist or by looking online. Support groups are great in that those people with BPD can form relationships with others who have similar issues and learn to work through them together.

Also, you can call your local NAMI. NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and is a great resource for people with mental illnesses and their families. It's a great way to get educated about mental illness issues and to find out what supports and services are available in your local area. NAMI's website is http://www.NAMI.org From the site, you can look up your own local branch of NAMI and call them to inquire about what type of help is available for you. Their free information number is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

You can also look for Borderline Personality Disorder self help books. There are many good books available which cover the disorder in depth, and provide ways for people to treat BPD. A trip to your library or a quick online search will uncover many excellent choices.

Tom Zondman has an M.A. in Clinical Counseling and has been in the Counseling field for 16 years. He enjoys writing about his work and other hobbies. For more information on Borderline Personality Disorders, check out his website at http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisordersymptoms.com

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Co-Parenting Borderline Personality Disorder

Co-parenting is a nightmare especially when it is with a person who has a borderline personality disorder. It is not an ideal situation. Ideally when you plan to have children it is best to be sure you are going to stay with your partner for the rest of your life so as the children will be brought up with both parents in their life.

However in this day and age this is not the case. More and more couples are breaking up and moving on to lead other, possibly better lives. But what happens if the estranged mother or father wants to hang around and try and see their children from time to time. And what happens if they have the above mentioned condition known as BPD. This is when conflicts can start and sometimes i am sure you would think it would be better if the estranged parent would just go and live his/her life else where and leave the children to get on with their own life!

Okay so what happens if you have to deal with a borderline personality disordered estranged parent who is hanging on

1. Never fight in front of a child.
You need to know when to stop a conversation if it starts to become heated, know when to walk away from the parent suffering from the borderline personality disorder and also you must know when you have no choice but to call the police.

2. If the situations when exchange of the children becomes to stressful or unpredictable then you need to understand that it is important to completely get yourself out of the situation. Do what it takes to keep your child from ever seeing that parent again. After all one parents love can be more than enough for the child.

3. You need to remember however, never to badmouth the parent in front of your child.

4. Abduction of the child by the parent who has BPD is very possible. This is why it is important that you know how to deal with a person who is suffering from this condition.

You obviously need more advice than what is provided above and that is why i am going to give you this link that will give you access to a brilliant e-book that will help out in all areas of dealing with a person who suffers from a borderline personality disorder Click Here -> A Co-Parenting Nightmare to visit this site.

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Borderline Personality Disorder Abuse - What Connects Borderlines and Domestic Abuse?

What connects borderlines and abusive relationships? Answer: Boundary issues.

Individuals with a borderline personality disorder have significant issues with attachment. They cling to others...attaching themselves strongly, and then become intensely angry or hostile when they believe they are being wronged. They may believe they are being ignored or mistreated by those they depend on and attach to, and this justifies their striking out.

In abusive relationships, individuals lose a clear sense of individual boundaries. And this "boundary blur" goes well beyond two people in a loving relationship union. Instead, it is as though the concept individual doesn't exist.

The same is so with borderlines. There is no sense of the other person having much of any sacred existence other than...as they relate to the projections, demands and service needs of the borderline.

Now you might be scratching your head as you are reading this article wondering who is the borderline in the abusive relationship. Is it the perpetrator or is it the victim? Good question...

Borderlines and Abusers

When abusers are borderlines, their violence has an irrational component different from the violence of an intermittent explosive disorder [or a sociopath]. The violence may appear to spring from a more psychotic process.

As described above, their rage can be ignited by a belief that they are being mistreated or ignored that is simply not based in reality. They harbor a "story" that the person they cling to is there to fulfill their every need, irrespective of the common and customary boundaries of other human beings.

The boundary issues are central to the violence issues when abusers are borderlines. The flip side can be seen when victims are borderlines.

Borderlines and Victims

When borderlines are the declared victim in an abusive relationship, they use their feelings of being wronged to justify their acting out toward their more explicitly explosive partner. And again the acting out stems from their dysfunctional boundary issues.

Borderline personality disorders are in many respects ripe for entering into abusive relationships because the abuser's grooming of dependency and dominance fits the predisposition of their psychopathology.

If you are in an abusive relationship and are keenly aware of the control dynamics, you know, all too well, about the inherent boundary issues in domestic abuse. If there is a borderline component contributing to the abuse dynamics seek to treat this in combination with the intimate partner abuse. By doing so, you will improve your prognosis for breaking the cycle of violence.

For more information about abusive relationship help, visit http://www.domesticabusecounseling.org and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. c Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

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Early Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder Before it Becomes Full Blown

What would happen if children at risk to develop Borderline Personality Disorder were able to get help in a early stage of its development? Most people do not know the characteristics of BPD and would be hard pressed to identify it in young children. Most people are helped when the mental health problem is full blown. In early adulthood, the symptoms scream for attention and become full blown.

There is the context out of which the BPD develops. Children from abusive families, emotionally, not just physically, are prone to develop the disorder. What is happening at home?

*emotionally cold parenting.

*not able to express feelings

*black and white thinking: this is good; this is bad.

*crying episodes, seemingly without reason.

*daydreaming to excess. Starring

* observer rather than a participant to the extreme.

* sadness.

* facial expression that seems wooden, lack of smiling, even when happy.

*alcoholism in one or both of parents.

*siblings that are distant to each other.

* over achieving together with the other attributes.

* no rewards seem to change their poor self image. The self image is poor

regardless of grades or achievements.

*older parents.

*parents that are overachievers

*reading and rereading questions to make sure they are "correct". Fear of failure.

* emotional numbness. Little emotional expression or self awareness. Face is like a mask.

* excessively "good", well mannered or the opposite.

* Unable to verbalize much about their family. Difficulty talking about their family specifically.

*small outbursts of opinion to galvanize a crowd. Easy prey for religious convention and cultism

People suffering from BPD have trouble moderating their emotions. Emotions come boiling to the surface in extremes. Moderating the emotional reactions seems beyond control. When a child comes from an emotionally abusive family, this child might not be able to express anger at home without fear of punishment. The anger becomes rage and goes underground. After stuffing the feelings so much, the child tries to turn off the feelings entirely so as not to be overwhelmed by these foreign and inconvenient feelings. Eventually, it becomes self numbing. The other side is hysteria or emotional discharge to extremes, such as verbal explosions, or sobbing without seeming reason. The child is probably not aware of the reasons for the repression of ongoing family trauma. To survive in the family, the child represses the memories to make it through.

In one case the child was caught between the parents on most every issue. Would you choose mother's side or father's side? Instead they were ground up in the middle of endless battles between parents. There is no way to find an answer that does not upset one or the other parent? The personal interactions with primary caretakers becomes intensely painful. Later it is harder to choose side in an argument and to defend it without a feeling you will be annihilated or demolished. One teacher observed the child seemed to not like small talk. The child does not know what he/she thinks so small talk is painful. The child ego or center is trying to survive the daily barrage of attacks of parents and possibly siblings. If other children observe the parent's attacks, what is to prevents the siblings from being aggressive or hurtful. In there families, none of the children are getting their needs met. Among siblings, it is natural to have rivalries and competition that reflect underlying deprivation that all the children are feeling. The children can feel jealousy toward the youngest, for example, but be unaware of why they are jealous. This type of dysfunctional family is very difficult to repair. Family group psychiatric intervention is possible if the members are willing to work to improve their family. It is difficult to enrich these families where the parents are so invested in the dysfunction.

To try to give emotional support to the children is desirable to modify the damage of the family setting. There has to a place to go such as camp, Boys and Girls Club, or YWCA or other activities. The more the child spend time outside of the family, the more experiences they will have to compare to the original family situation. The experiences with normalcy whether dinners at friends homes, sleep overs, and other activities, the greater the chance that the child will be able to refer back to these places for reference rather than the traumatic events of the home. BPD is a distorted reaction to living. Therefore, to readjust the child needs to experience normalcy whether in the classroom, the school, the church, or whatever.

BPD persons frequently spend time alone. If the verbal interactions at home stimulate pain, why seek further conversations. Being quiet is a safe place. Eventually, the position of being stuck between to parents is a no win place to be. Anxiety arises as the child anticipates future interactions. The child may develop a desire to please others. Trying to duck and stay out of the range of fire whether it be debates or conversations where you put your views on the line. The BPD child will learn to hide their feelings. Being so afraid of attack on their very identity, why not invent some personalities or personna that are safe from attack. One personna might be the "good girl" or the funny kid or the empathetic observer. Within these destructive homes, a BPD can read the atmosphere of their parents even before words are spoken. The antenna are out all the time. The only problem arises is that in the outside world not every one acts like your parents. It is difficult to differentiate from an attack and a benign approach. These children need friends who have healthy households that they visit and get some healthy parenting. These friends homes are life saving.

The context of the family might show up in parent conferences and are one of the best indicators of potential BPD development. It occurs in some of the "nicest" families. The rigidity of their views might show something of the underlying events.

If the parents seem to need the child to be a trophy for their egos, that could be an indicator. These parents treat their children as objects to satisfy their own ego needs, so the achievement of the kids are bragged about by these parents. They are unable to see their children as rounded or with strengths and shortcomings. The kids are charicatures, or projections, not real.

The parents may come to parents' night but not the sports or drama production. When the father appears at the father-daughter dance, he spends time offering the math teacher a job with his company where he does the hiring. This is a specific example but gives the situation very clearly. Most abuse is about power. This example illustrates how it works in this a family context where BPD developed.

Class activities that practice "gray" thinking, away from black and white differentiation is very helpful. Class activities that practice identifying emotions, such as writing about an historical event as if present would help identify emotions. Exercises that help develop values, self-esteem and self awareness help the child to come out in a safe environment. School debates are excellent ways for children to defend and identify a point of view. Class work that promotes teamwork is helpful, as well. Art, music, gym, and other extracurricular activities allow children to define themselves.

We all want our children to live to their potential but why not create schools where healthy egos can develop and mental illness is identified and repaired.

We want our children to learn the 3 rs but why offer schools where our children learn emotional health.

Janet Kirkpatrick
Janet_Kirkpatrick@msn.com

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