Long gone are the dark days of suffering in isolation from the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Many of us have worked hard through recovery and are now leading productive, happy lives with meaningful relationships. We have careers we love, a strong sense of self, and stable emotional regulation. Even though Borderline Personality Disorder is a relatively new diagnosis, with even newer treatment options, those of us who have accepted our ailment and worked hard at recovery are now beyond just managing the symptoms-we are living wonderful lives.
Remember those days not long ago when a diagnosis of cancer meant certain death? We no longer think in those terms for cancer. Today, most cancer patients successfully undergo treatment and get on with life. The same is becoming true about Borderline Personality Disorder. Though once considered a virtual death sentence, a diagnosis today can lead to entering into effective treatment and getting on with living a meaningful life.
We are finding that our recovery is worked in steps:
1. Accepting diagnosis, getting educated and finding treatment.
2. Getting symptoms under control and going into remission.
3. Building relationships, finding meaningful work, knowing and believing in self.
As you may imagine, step three is where the real fun begins, but eventually we all learn to embrace everything about our lives, even the hard parts of the past. But many of us can recall driving a stake in the ground and saying, "this is where it all changes!" the day we figured out what exactly was wrong with us--the day we accepted our diagnosis.
If you are in step two and beginning to get your symptoms under control, there are some things you can begin doing now to lead into step three.
Start getting involved with people, some-where, some how, even if it is only through the mental health community, such as support groups for those with mental illness. You may also find people in church groups or college courses. Take a self-inventory of what you really love and join a club or group of like-minded individuals. This could be anything from a singing to a dog-loving group. People everywhere are trying to find other people to befriend.
If you have been in isolation for an extended period of time, it may seem awkward to be around people at first. You may not know what to do. Here's a tip for you: wherever you go, just serve. Just go to help. Notice other's needs and contribute where you can. This takes the pressure off of you and will really help build your confidence. The old adage, "if you want a friend, be a friend" really does hold true. Just go serve. That's all.
To find meaningful work that makes you feel good about yourself, begin by building on serving in a more organized way. For example, once you've gone to that certain club or group for a little while, volunteer to make the coffee or put up the chairs each time. Start very small and build. Over time, your resilience and confidence will grow and you will be able to do more.
You have been through so much. Be patient with yourself. And know that all you've been through can be used for many good things. Your innate sensitivity will begin to serve you well.
And remember, charity does indeed begin at home. No matter how ill you are when you begin your recovery, you can begin by doing small things for the people you live with. Start today by doing something small for some-one near, without them even knowing it. And don't forget to smile!
Tami Green
To see how I overcame this disorder, including treatment options, visit my website at: http://www.borderlinepersonalitysupport.com
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